aarreola2010 Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 I made my girlfriend mad she has been for about a week now and i havent been able to talk to her because she keeps saying she needs her space and time to think. I can't go one second without thinking about her. ive been having a ****ty weekend i miss her so damn much and there isnt anything i can do about it i just want to see her again and hold her in my arms and let her know how much i love her.
elaine567 Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 I made my girlfriend mad she has been for about a week now and i havent been able to talk to her because she keeps saying she needs her space and time to think. I can't go one second without thinking about her. ive been having a ****ty weekend i miss her so damn much and there isnt anything i can do about it i just want to see her again and hold her in my arms and let her know how much i love her. What did you do that made your gf mad at you? 1
Author aarreola2010 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Posted June 20, 2015 Lets just say i have control issues/ anxiety / low self esteem and she opened my eyes up to that ever since she has been mad i even contacted a therapist so i can try to solve my issues. I basically told her that when she is with her friends she always ignores me and she should text me.
Author aarreola2010 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Posted June 20, 2015 I've done this before but i thought it wouldn't happen again because i love her but i need to get help for my problems i can't do it alone
ravfour4 Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 People get jealous all the time, perhaps you've done it too often and pushed her over her limit. Give her space, apologize when she comes back, tell her you'll stop and actually make an honest effort to stop.
Author aarreola2010 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Posted June 20, 2015 I honestly want to stop i just need help i dont know what to do.
ravfour4 Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 When you're about to yell at her for not texting you with friends, think to yourself - what will this accomplish? The answer is a stressed out gf who is mad at you and a lot of anxiety. Instead, trust her and don't say anything, you may feel some anxiety, but you won't have an angry gf, therefore it is the better option.
Author aarreola2010 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Posted June 20, 2015 I would like to do that but i fear it may be too late. She hasn't talked to me I'm afraid I lost the love of my life and it's all my fault.
Author aarreola2010 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Posted June 20, 2015 What can i do to stop thinking about her every second that goes by until she is ready to talk?
ravfour4 Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 Literally try to cancel out the thoughts, think "No, you're not going to think this right now. No" something like that. If you do it enough, it works. Also go on a run or bike ride to boost your endorphins, that usually helps. Take a deep breath, watch some youtube videos, read a book, just do anything that can preoccupy you.
mightycpa Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 Sometimes people come into your life and their purpose in your life is not to be with you, but rather, to work their way deep inside you, and then to rip you open, and expose you to yourself, so that you can know who and what you really are. What you do with that knowledge is up to you, but don't confuse the two things. It sounds to me like you have an opportunity to improve or not to improve, but she is not part of the future equation, either way you go.
ravfour4 Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 It doesn't really sound like this person climbed inside of him and tore him apart. It sounds like he's just got some jealousy issues to work through that got the best of his relationship and maybe he'll have a chance to fix it with this girl, otherwise he may have to fix it before the next one.
TunaCat Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I basically told her that when she is with her friends she always ignores me and she should text me. Why should she text you when she's hanging out with her friends? She should be enjoying her time with her friends. While she's out with her friends, you need to find something else to do. Telling her she should text you when she's out with her friends is definitely bordering on controlling. 2
ravfour4 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Because he's afraid no reply means she's cheating or something. Need to work on your self-confidence and jealousy issues.
Author aarreola2010 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 It's been a week since she has been mad at me now. We havent really talked in about 2 days. It's killing me. Should i text her asking if we can talk soon? because i cant do this. i have work tomorrow and i don't know if i will be able to work. I cant go a second without thinking about this. Even trying to occupy my mind with video games it comes back to me. I've cried a couple times thikning about the happy times we've had and how much i would hate it if i lost her and i think this stress is getting to me. I've had three heavy nose bleeds while i cried in the past two days.
Gloria25 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 If you "don't stop" you're gonna lose her. So please, stop. Let her be. Two days is too short for anything. BTW, I see you didn't take my advice - which was to get physical (ie run, walk, play sports) and/or find something to do (ie hobby, volunteering). Sitting down in front of a TV and playing video games is no way to distract yourself and/or stay busy. 1
Gloria25 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 (edited) Also, how do you know that in this time apart she isn't thinking of you? On a Sex and the City, Charlotte freaked cuz Harry wouldn't propose. Mind you, she converted to Judaism and what not to be with him - even though he never asked her to do any of that and/or gave her signs he was interested in something long term. Well, one day she flipped, she yelled at him and listed "everything" she does/did for him, how he should be grateful that he has a "catch" like her, and what not.... Well, surprise surprise...Harry had a ring and was going to propose and he told her that he changed his mind about even dating her. He packed his bags and moved out...So, cuz she couldn't be patient when he was going to give her what she wanted (the proposal)...and now, she was left with "nothing". So, don't push someone...cuz, for all you know, they may be "yours", but if you squeeze too tight, you'll end up scaring/pushing them away. Also, seriously think about your dependency on her...Let's say a car hit her and she died in an accident...Would you be sworn to a life of celibacy? Edited June 21, 2015 by Gloria25
Author aarreola2010 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 I know I just wanted to know when we could talk because it was hard to function. A car accident would be different if she had died in a car accident i would be terribly sad for a long time very long time, but i know i brought this pain on her. But i am being as patient as i can now. She said we will talk friday. Right now i am thinking about joining a martial arts class this week. i heard it helps with self esteem and it can also keep my occupied. thank you for your help it really helps
ravfour4 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Simply put, you're freaking out right now and you know it. If you were to meet with her, you would blow it, because you are not thinking clearly and are incredibly nervous/anxious - it's understandable, but it's exactly what pushed her away to begin with, showing her it's now even worse than before will only reinforce her decision to distance herself from you. Try to do something that requires a lot of focus - running a long distance, biking a long distance, reading something that really intrigues you, taking up a new hobby, even browsing the forums on here. I bet you if you do that, you'll feel more relaxed. The anxiety may come back soon after, but reassure yourself that it is just a temporary feeling that will pass, don't fear it, just go with it, reminding yourself that it is not a permanent state of mind. Continue to do this up until Friday when you meet and do not bombard her with questions, do not beg for her back, do not tell her how much you really care. Be calm and confident (and if you can't, delay meeting up with her), apologize and tell her you don't want to be that way anymore and will make permanent changes - then actually do it, if she takes you back you CANNOT freak out when she's with friends, you MUST trust her, or your relationship will NEVER work. 2
Author aarreola2010 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 Thank you guys I did a cardio workout this morning i played with my dog and i did some chores i really think im calming down some. I also have some upcoming martial arts classes i am excited for before friday. Also i have a therapist appointment on friday. My i told my girlfriend i had one at three and if she wanted to talk before or after? and she said before and she could go with me to the therapist for support. I really think I am heading in the right direction. thanks the advice it was really helpful 2
Recommended Posts