Author spiderowl Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 Actually, it might just be that he is not interested in messaging incessantly and wants to meet people IRL. OK, maybe not ask to meet with 1st message, but I don't really see the point of days or weeks messaging someone. I'm too old for a pen pal. That's fair enough and I don't see the point in endless messaging but useful messaging where you both get an idea of each other's manners, interests, intelligence and sense of humour really helps. If you expect someone to meet without getting an idea of their character, likes/dislikes, what they do, etc., then it is almost like a blind date. It suggests all you are interested in is the way the other person looks. After all, that's all you know about them at that point.
autumnnight Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 I'm a fogey, but I think that a vast majority of people who were raised on online communication lack basic social graces and the ability to communicate in a tactful, give and take fashion. I'm not so sure hiding behind a screen with no filter has been good for us..... 3
joseb Posted June 24, 2015 Posted June 24, 2015 I am physically attracted to more than half of the women I see on the street, some more than others. Wow where do you live?? I'm moving there wherever it is! 1
salparadise Posted June 24, 2015 Posted June 24, 2015 I seriously worry about any guy that only finds 50 out of 1000 people attractive. If only half of that 1000 were women, that's still 500 people, so he is only attracted to the top 10% of women? No wonder that guy is single. I am physically attracted to more than half of the women I see on the street, some more than others. Unless Mr. 10% looks like Channing Tatum, I expect he will live lonely life. My guess is that what you're saying is that you find half of the women in the eligible demographic attractive... meaning that you've already filtered out everyone who is not gender and age appropriate, height-weight proportionate, two-thirds covered in tattoos, first degree relatives, etc. The percentage and how it's calculated are at best tangental to the point, but for the sake of discussion, let's assume a context where you get a representative cross section of the population, like at the DMV Are you telling me that you're literally attracted to half of all women to the degree that you'd consider them doable? Yea, that would open up a lot of possibilities... and I'm sure a lot of them would be more than willing too... probably in the restroom or parking lot.
joseb Posted June 24, 2015 Posted June 24, 2015 Maryland coast. If we are talking about at the beach, I'm probably attracted to 75% of the women here. I live just inland, and here it is more like 50/50. It isn't that every woman here is hot, I just find most women attractive. Unless they are grossly overweight, women are beautiful. It's rare that I see exceptions to that rule. OK, well I used to live in Maryland and have been to Ocean city and south a few times and don't remember the women being unusually attractive. As salparadise said - "My guess is that what you're saying is that you find half of the women in the eligible demographic attractive... " So you are automatically, maybe subconsciously ignoring all the older and too young women, which is probably 30% or possibly a lot more, and then you are subject to that initial bias men have where with a glance they believe women are more attractive than they are. I would say that walking down the street here in Melbourne 10% would be a pretty close estimate of the women I see that I would be genuinely actually attracted to.
joseb Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Pretty much, yeah. That's what I am saying. One of the signs of low testosterone in men is that they don't find many women attractive. Any guy who told me he is only attracted to 10% of the women he sees should probably talk to his doctor. Sorry enigma, I read a lot of your posts and agree with much of what you write, but this is just nonsense. Most people are not that attracted to most members of the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong with my testosterone levels, but I am not going to be bothered chasing a below average woman I don't find attractive. Well maybe if I'm really pissed:) But in general, no. These posts just confirm the idea that many women present, that the single men are always trying to get with the best looking women only, and that is why they are single. I have never found a large percentage of the female population attractive enough to pursue, but have never been unwillingly single for any significant period. I am not going to go out with someone I don't fancy just to be un-single. Look, if you honestly, genuinely find almost all women attractive, I really think you have a gift. You can take your pick form almost anyone. 1
salparadise Posted June 25, 2015 Posted June 25, 2015 Pretty much, yeah. That's what I am saying. One of the signs of low testosterone in men is that they don't find many women attractive. Any guy who told me he is only attracted to 10% of the women he sees should probably talk to his doctor. There was a time when I was probably 17 years old and a virgin that I was so horny, intrigued by women and sex, and engrossed in fantasies of getting laid that I would probably have poked any available female after two beers. And I admit that for a number of years, available was the only real imperative. So yea, I agree that high level of testosterone is a significant factor, along with sex being a fundamental human need independent of attraction. But there is also a social learning component that moderates pure physical need. Perhaps think of it as an id vs. the superego struggle. When I went away to college things changed dramatically for a few reasons. Social standing amongst peers became important at about the same time that I finally matured physically (late bloomer) and became attractive to women. I started drawing interest from extremely attractive women and this affected my threshold of minimum acceptability. My standing amongst peers was elevated by the fact that I was seemingly indifferent to many of the hotties that hit on me. Actually my reluctance was based more in insecurity (from late maturity) from those days. From then on I've always been what you might call a horndog with standards. I volunteer in an organization with 70+ others, and about 85-90 percent of those are college age women (hell no, not saying). It's like a sociology experiment. Some of these young women apparently enjoy teasing me mercilessly. I think they're test-driving their feminine wiles on a safe target. Among that group I'd say 50 percent doable is a good estimate, but then this is a pre-filtered group... all intelligent, social, prime reproductive age, etc. Still, I'd say 10 percent are worthy of a role in my erotic dreams. So I'm sure there's a relativity factor in play there. There has been exactly one age appropriate (<10 years) woman of above average attractiveness (actually hot) who worked there, and yes we did... from a month after she started until she moved away. We were seen together and I'm pretty sure there was speculation but we were reasonably discreet. But to get back to the original question... if I went to the DMV on a busy day and scanned a crowd of say 100 women, I still think 10 percent doable would be my limit, and I don't think its because of low testosterone, unless you're comparing to a 17 year old, in which case it might seem on the low side. These posts just confirm the idea that many women present, that the single men are always trying to get with the best looking women only, and that is why they are single. I don't think so. The reason I'm still single is the "good in bed - crazy in the head" syndrome. If I could find one who's highly sexual and open, emotionally healthy, and reasonably attractive physically and personality wise... and who'd have me, I'd make her mine and be done with all of this single bull$hit.
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