dur Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 I was dating this girl for 3 years, and broke up about two months ago. She was the one to show romantic interest in me in the first place, because i only saw her as a friend . Since she was nice i agreed to go on a date with her and 2 months later we started dating. In the begginig it was amazing, i realized that apart from being pretty she had a great personality, although there were some things that bothered me, like some little flaws that she had, the way she ate, the way she placed her feet as she walked, but nothing of that really mattered in the big picture. A year and a half after i began to feel distant, to feel not interested, to feel like she was keeping me from something better, to feel a lack of desire for sex and she noticed, so we broke up. After the break i really missed her and began to find her interesting and beautifull again so, since i was going through a bad phase at the moment we broke up, i related these feelings to it and begged her to get back, she understood, forgave, and said she still loved me so we got back 2 months later. The reunion was very good and i felt like i really loved and cared for her and had made a mistake letting her go. However, 5 months later i started to find myself distant again, demotivated with the relationship, with lack of desire, those little flaws of her began to emerge and grow bigger in my mind, little stupid flaws like the ones i described. She on the other hand began begging me for atention, getting very needy and almost centering her life around me, all of this only pushed me away even further. She began to feel bad about herself because of the lack of affection that i, without realizing, wans't giving to her. So we talked, i said i dindt love her as i used to anymore and she said that she loved me the same as she used to, but we decided it wasn´t working out and again broke up. After this second break, since i still cared a lot for her i always tried to see if she was doing ok. A week later she made out with another guy and magically she changed. She began to be more open with everyone, more talkative, happier. I, on the other, felt a punch in the stomach, and have been grieving the end of our relationship ever since. I cant understand how she moved on so quickly, and how differente she is, she is completely ok, like nothing happened. We see each other everyday since we are in college together. Again i began to find her really attractive and trying to find her flaws but i cant anymore. The only thing i remember is that she really cared about me and that i let her go. I'm worried that i have mistaken the confort of a long term relationship with lack of love, what do you guys think? ( sorry for the long post and for the spelling mistakes)
ravfour4 Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 It sounds like you broke up with her, she was probably very sad about it, then she gave it a second chance and you did the same thing again so she was fed up and moved on. Sounds reasonable to me. 2
Satu Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 (edited) She's found someone who treats her better and she likes it. Edited June 20, 2015 by Satu
Author dur Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 Thank you for your answers. I know she is better without me, But what i wanted to know is, based on what i described, do you guys think that i really love her and confused the confort of a ltr with lack of love or is this all my ego?
dumbass2 Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 No, I don't think you loved her, but your ego is hurt now because she has found someone that may not have an issue with those little flaws that you saw in her. You may not see them in her anymore, because you are more focused on her positive attributes now that someone else is now finding her attractive. Sounds like she may have loved you for you, but again, you did not lover her for her. You may have to asses what it is really important to you in a relationship before you get into your next one. My ex would make comments about some pretty petty things and she had what myself and friends would call "unrealistic" expectations, especially at our age. She has not and I doubt she will ever find that man that has everything she wants, but in the mean time, i will find someone that is more than happy with what I have to offer, just like you ex seems to have done.
casey.lives Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 I think love is something you live and create everyday. Love is something we do. If you stop doing it, you stop feeling it.
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