ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Well, I did it last night. I put all her photos away I deleted her off my Yahoo IM I deleted her phone numbers off my cell phone I archived her emails on a disk and put them with the rest of her trinkets, far, far from sight She doesn't deserve me. Everyone who knows us both says that. She showed me who she was, and I didn't believe her. Am I a little more battle hardened? You betch'cha. I've also learned what to do and what not to do and my confidence and stride is coming back. I am starting to smile today and for once, I don't give a damn what she is doing. I proved it by deleted an email she sent me today. Who cares?! This whole entire process has been a big, hard lesson. Lesson learned.
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Well, I did it last night. I put all her photos away I deleted her off my Yahoo IM I deleted her phone numbers off my cell phone I archived her emails on a disk and put them with the rest of her trinkets, far, far from sight YAAAAYYY Good for you! The first step. Watch how much easier it gets from there! She doesn't deserve me. Everyone who knows us both says that. Damn Straight!
alphamale Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC This whole entire process has been a big, hard lesson. Lesson learned. ahh...COC...you are learning. learning to deal with women is an iterative process that you get better at over time. The lessons are hard to learn and painful but as long as you don't repeat your mistakes you will do OK.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale ahh...COC...you are learning. learning to deal with women is an iterative process that you get better at over time. The lessons are hard to learn and painful but as long as you don't repeat your mistakes you will do OK. Thanks All. And alpha, as much crap as I give you, you are right on a lot of things. I will mention that this doesn't mean my heart won't ache, it still does. I definitely miss the companionship more than ever. But getting reminders of her out of my life I think is the right step. Thanks Merin. That was great advice.
ReluctantRomeo Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Am I a little more battle hardened? You betch'cha. Welcome to Mr Nice Guy and Mr Tough Guy rolled into one. You should change your nick to "NoLongerConfused".
Marshbear Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 It is never easy to feel unloved. Especially when you love the one who said it. The thing to do is to talk about her, cry for her, and then learn to live without her. It will not be an easy road but we have all been there and the sun will shine upon you one day. You will be strong for this experience and will learn from it. In the end you might even thank her for leaving you to find the one who you truely love and who loves you. I wish you well and you have a wealth of LS friends to help you....
EC Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Yay CIOC!!! It gets way easier trust me. I like the new smiling/smirking facing front avie! Im still sticking to serious sideways pics! lol
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear In the end you might even thank her for leaving you to find the one who you truely love and who loves you. You know, that's what it boils down to for me. She doesn't deserve me and I certainly don't deserve to be with someone who lies, cheats and takes me for granted. I want to be with someone who can love me as much as I love them. One day I'll look back at this experience and say "WTF was I thinking?!" EC: I still want rhinoplasty!
Merin Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Thanks Merin. That was great advice. You're Welcome
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by EC Yay CIOC!!! It gets way easier trust me. I like the new smiling/smirking facing front avie! Im still sticking to serious sideways pics! lol NOOO He looks sexy as hell in that pic! Keep up the good work OC!
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue NOOO He looks sexy as hell in that pic! Keep up the good work OC! Awww, thank you I get looks from women often, but instead of acting on it, I stayed faithful to a woman that was one of the biggest hypocrites I know.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by Merin You're Welcome Hon, whatever your ex was thinking, at least let him know I think he's a moron.
Fallen_Angel Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 I am very pleased to hear you've done the required "cleaning." This was the first thing one of my friends (who coincidentally is in CA at this time) recommended. Well, she referred to it as "removing the evidence." Treat it like a crime scene! Hehe. All the pictures, cards, reminders etal. are now locked in a box, out of sight. Make sure you've checked EVERYWHERE!! Of course your heart will still ache. I know mine does. I'm trying not to let it overtake me. After all, I still have to go to work and come across to my co-workers as competent! I like your new avatar as well. I think it does radiate a new-found sense of confidence!
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by Fallen_Angel I am very pleased to hear you've done the required "cleaning." This was the first thing one of my friends (who coincidentally is in CA at this time) recommended. Well, she referred to it as "removing the evidence." Treat it like a crime scene! Hehe. All the pictures, cards, reminders etal. are now locked in a box, out of sight. Make sure you've checked EVERYWHERE!! Of course your heart will still ache. I know mine does. I'm trying not to let it overtake me. After all, I still have to go to work and come across to my co-workers as competent! I like your new avatar as well. I think it does radiate a new-found sense of confidence! Thank you. Don't make me break out the "been working out a lot, check out my body" pics.
Merin Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Hon, whatever your ex was thinking, at least let him know I think he's a moron. I'd do that IF I ever talked to him! LOL Thanks
dgiirl Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 w00t Congratulations... I cant wait to be able to do what you've just done. At the moment I'm still living in the house, but I've boxed up most of his pics, and threw out all his crappy ass "healthy" food that i couldnt stand. It was extremely refreshing
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl w00t Congratulations... I cant wait to be able to do what you've just done. At the moment I'm still living in the house, but I've boxed up most of his pics, and threw out all his crappy ass "healthy" food that i couldnt stand. It was extremely refreshing Believe me, it was hard. When I deleted her from YIM, all our archived conversations were deleted as well. At first, I had some anxiety and then I kept remembering this: "She doesn't deserve your love, she doesn't deserve your love, she doesn't deserve your love." I mean, when I look back at what I did just to please her, I had to be out of my mind. I mean literally NUTS!" The second I made the pact with myself to put her away for good, I felt a LOT better. Now I know I will still occasionally get some feelings but with time, it will go away to the point I won't even think about her anymore. OH! She finally got around to answering the email I sent her on Tuesday. I deleted her reply.
dgiirl Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I mean, when I look back at what I did just to please her, I had to be out of my mind. I mean literally NUTS!" I think we've all been (still are) there. That's why I think NC is so good for me. Even tho I'm thinking of doing these insane stuff, he hasnt seen me do it yet, and so I still have some self respect. All my friends see how pathetic i've become, but atleast he hasnt And my friends have been very kind and telling me things I really need to hear.
tiki Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I proved it by deleted an email she sent me today. Who cares?! Did you read it first? BE HONEST!!!
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Did you read it first? BE HONEST!!! Sure, I read it. Rolled my eyes. Deleted it.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl I think we've all been (still are) there. That's why I think NC is so good for me. Even tho I'm thinking of doing these insane stuff, he hasnt seen me do it yet, and so I still have some self respect. All my friends see how pathetic i've become, but atleast he hasnt And my friends have been very kind and telling me things I really need to hear. Ah, the key words: SELF RESPECT As long as I kept trying to hang on to her, my self respect dwindled accordingly. And I am sure her respect for me did too. Now, implementing NC and moving on with my life will help me get all of that back and who cares what she thinks anymore. She's out of my life and that's a GOOD thing. You people on LS ROCK!
tiki Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 So why are you proud you deleted it, if you read it? Baby steps, baby steps.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 Originally posted by tiki So why are you proud you deleted it, if you read it? Baby steps, baby steps. Because before I would have been tempted to reply, hammer her more about our relationship and how wrong she is, blah, blah, blah. I'll probably read all of them she sends me. I won't reply to any of them and that's the difference.
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