Does a guy have to be financially stable if he wants to date casually?

June 19, 2015

Like let's say the guy wants a girlfriend but at the same time he is not looking to get married or settle down yet, he still wants to play the field, does the guy still need to be financially stable, well-established, be living on his own if he just wants to date casually?

Also is there an age in which a guy is too old for casual dating, in which the older he gets, the only women he will be stuck with being able to date, are women that are looking to get married or settle down, are looking for a serious, committed, long-term relationship, etc.?

And should a guy pursue a certain age-range of women if he is not looking to get married or settle down, just wants something casual?

June 19, 2015

Like let's say the guy wants a girlfriend but at the same time he is not looking to get married or settle down yet, he still wants to play the field, does the guy still need to be financially stable, well-established, be living on his own if he just wants to date casually?

Also is there an age in which a guy is too old for casual dating, in which the older he gets, the only women he will be stuck with being able to date, are women that are looking to get married or settle down, are looking for a serious, committed, long-term relationship, etc.?

And should a guy pursue a certain age-range of women if he is not looking to get married or settle down, just wants something casual?

wants a girlfriend but at the same time he is not looking to get married or settle down yet, he still wants to play the field -- If he wants to play the field and he is dating a woman, she's not his girlfriend. They are dating CASUALLY.

And, unless the woman wants to get married and have a stable life with him, no, it doesn't matter what his life status is financially or otherwise, unless he dates you and doesn't want to pay for anything . . .

And should a guy pursue a certain age-range of women if he is not looking to get married or settle down, just wants something casual? -- I'd say, if he's older, he'll have better luck dating in his own age-range, because there a tons of older women who've been married before and don't want that anymore, especially if she's had children, been there done that, etc. and want something less serious than marriage at least.

There are relationship models that allow for a good/quality, committed relationship without marriage. Sometimes they just want the companionship.

June 19, 2015

Like let's say the guy wants a girlfriend but at the same time he is not looking to get married or settle down yet, he still wants to play the field, does the guy still need to be financially stable, well-established, be living on his own if he just wants to date casually?

No. He needs to be attractive. Being penniless can be unattractive but doesn't have to be. It depends on marketing. If the steak sucks sell the sizzle.

Also is there an age in which a guy is too old for casual dating, in which the older he gets, the only women he will be stuck with being able to date, are women that are looking to get married or settle down, are looking for a serious, committed, long-term relationship, etc.?

Casual dating is viable at any age, IMO. At my age, with reproductive years past, even more so, since there's no urge to pop out progeny and nest. Most women, and men, have already done that or opted out so 'settling down' is pretty much irrelevant.

And should a guy pursue a certain age-range of women if he is not looking to get married or settle down, just wants something casual?

I don't see any particular age ranges as targets. However, if I had to target an age range, it would be 60's-up. Lots of widows and divorcees who have no interest in substantial entanglements or 'taking care of another man', rather casual and enjoyable social interactions and companionship. Separate houses is better.

June 19, 2015

Dating is expensive so no matter what kind of relationship he seeks, ONS, casual, exclusive, etc. some discretionary income to afford the date is required.

Women are individuals. There are no age categories -- this bracket wants marriage, this one doesn't. Date the person. Worry about the rest later.

June 19, 2015

Ok, I'm certainly no authority, but I'll tell you my experience.

I don't know what your definition of financially secure is, but for me dating was expensive. I make 6 figures and it still beat me up financially. Now I am the kind of guy that likes to pay every time and if I'm going out I want the nicest places I can find. Matter of fact, I am going on a date tomorrow that will likely cost me somewhere around $700. Of course this is with a girl I am seeing steady, so it's a nice hotel in the city, front row tickets to Blue Man Group and a table at the best steakhouse in the city. It should be awesome. But even casually dating I found it was a good thing I drove a nice vehicle, had my own house and very good career. Some might call women who value this as shallow, but honestly, if I were a woman I would be looking to spend time with someone that has enough money to have fun and live the good life too.

Now the second part of your question has an answer that may surprise you. Casual dating in your 40's is in-friggin-sane. Never have I had the opportunity to bang so much strange in my life, and that includes when I was in college. Women my age are HORNY. Many are divorced and looking to have fun, so as much casual sex as you want is out there. WAY more than when I was in my 20's. They are either in mid-life crisis mode and looking to bang everything that moves, or they already had kids and marriage and are done with that and now it's their time to have fun. Yes, you will find the women that are desperate to settle down, and some are even trying to beat the baby clock (yes, mid-forties and still wanting to fertilize that egg). But there are plenty that are done with the drama and garbage and just want to party. Beware of the scores of married women that are looking to cheat- unless you are into that!

June 19, 2015

Wanting a casual gf is an oxymoron.

Most women want something back in return for regular casual dating as opposed to just a ONS.

It could be just good satisfying sex, or the chance of a hot body, or entertainment, or company or being taken out, or a good laugh, or a friendship or a listening ear or diy skills or even a baby sitter...

Merely showing up as a random male wanting casual sex, may not be enough in itself to attract anyone.

Few women, I guess want to be merely pounded for 15 mins once a week like some sort of a free whore.

June 19, 2015

wants a girlfriend but at the same time he is not looking to get married or settle down yet, he still wants to play the field -- If he wants to play the field and he is dating a woman, she's not his girlfriend. They are dating CASUALLY.

And, unless the woman wants to get married and have a stable life with him, no, it doesn't matter what his life status is financially or otherwise, unless he dates you and doesn't want to pay for anything . . .

And should a guy pursue a certain age-range of women if he is not looking to get married or settle down, just wants something casual? -- I'd say, if he's older, he'll have better luck dating in his own age-range, because there a tons of older women who've been married before and don't want that anymore, especially if she's had children, been there done that, etc. and want something less serious than marriage at least.

There are relationship models that allow for a good/quality, committed relationship without marriage. Sometimes they just want the companionship.

So there are women out there that want a boyfriend just for the companionship, intimacy, sex, but don't expect stability out of the man?

June 19, 2015

Personally I would like to have some level of stability to get out there in the dating pool, but hey, I've seen the most unstable men successfully find women that are willing to date them. I guess it's not always about that.

I just like to feel prepared to bring something to the table.... nice place to entertain company, money on tap, something comfortable to move around in...

June 19, 2015

**Like let's say the guy wants a girlfriend but at the same time he is not looking to get married or settle down yet, he still wants to play the field,***

does the guy still need to be financially stable, well-established, be living on his own if he just wants to date casually?

Also is there an age in which a guy is too old for casual dating, in which the older he gets, the only women he will be stuck with being able to date, are women that are looking to get married or settle down, are looking for a serious, committed, long-term relationship, etc.?

And should a guy pursue a certain age-range of women if he is not looking to get married or settle down, just wants something casual?

Quote in asterisk above. He wants a girlfriend... but wants to also play the field?

Can't be both hon...either he wants a girlfriend OR he wants to play the field.

So which is it?

June 19, 2015

So there are women out there that want a boyfriend just for the companionship, intimacy, sex, but don't expect stability out of the man?

Sure, it doesn't matter in those cases what he's got as long as they aren't co-mingling their finances and/or significant personal issues. Of course, it's better if they have their lives in good order. That kind of woman doesn't want a complete train wreck

They want them to love them, provide emotional support, comfort and security in terms of the relationship.

If she is secure and independent herself, she will find someone who compliments and enhances her life but doesn't need him for financial support or marriage.

My current SO and I were not looking to be married or even live with anyone. But, we are in a "committed" long term relationship. I am more financially well off than he is, and he is retiring in a month. But, we do not rely on each other financially. He is "stable" and so am I. He pays for somethings we do together and I pay for somethings we do together.

I do expect stability in terms of commitment, of course. As long as the basic and fundamental qualities of a good and committed relationship exist, it will be mutually fulfilling.

June 19, 2015

So there are women out there that want a boyfriend just for the companionship, intimacy, sex, but don't expect stability out of the man?

Sure.

You don't have to have anything going for you other than finding a woman wants to date you. Having money, a job, your own home or anything else isn't necessary - it just makes it more difficult. Women don't have to have any of these things to get a date, either, but have an easier time of it even if they don't. Many men will date a woman as long as she's attractive, regardless of what else she has or doesn't! Why should men have to attain a higher standard? Bottom line, IMO, is that they don't.

June 19, 2015

So there are women out there that want a boyfriend just for the companionship, intimacy, sex, but don't expect stability out of the man?

There are even women out there who like to dress up as tea pots on a Sunday morning and who howl at full moons...

Different people want different things.

June 19, 2015

Most women don't want something casual. They tend to fall in love and want a commitment. Those are the rules - and if you don't play by the rules, you'll likely get burned, or be spinning your wheels, player.

June 19, 2015

There are even women out there who like to dress up as tea pots on a Sunday morning and who howl at full moons...

Different people want different things.

Exactly, it's kinda "roll your own" relationship modeling. The important thing is that the two parties are on the same page and are communicating effectively.

June 19, 2015

You don't need to be financially stable to date casually so long as you’re creative in thinking of dates and have the self-confidence to be candid about your situation and intentions.

A lot of people are looking for a relationship and they’ll want someone who has traits for an LTR or marriage, such as financial stability. But if your goal is casual fun and you make that clear from the outset, some will take you up on it and people who expect or assume more will just pass.

June 19, 2015

Sure, different people claim to want different things. But if you try to play love games with people who are not interested in love, they have little motivation to stay with you or treat you right. So, with those other half-baked relationships, you stand a big chance of just spinning your wheels at the least, or getting burned badly by rejection. Good luck with that!

If you go against the house rules, don't be surprised if you get kicked to the curb. Besides, women in love are more fun, they do it better.

June 19, 2015

Lol...

Look, from what I see in every day life and even hear on the radio - there are chicks who could care less if you have a dime to your name. They will even visit you at your whim - like Domino's Pizza (now "Domino's") and deliver you hot sex at the drop of a hat.

Actually, today I was listening to my fav podcaster and this 17 yr old was giving up on college and life because she found a 22yr old guy - who has no job, lost his car 6 months ago. She says she's giving up on college because college is too much now that she has to go to work (and probably baby him). So, my fav podcaster asked her mum to ask her 'What is it that she fears in taking on the responsibilities of "live" (being on her own, college, bills) that she is latching onto this loser as a "project/excuse" for living her life? So, either she feels she can't do better than this loser, or she wants someone she can feel superior to and/or be dependent on her and will never leave her.

So, if a chick is ok with you not having your stuff together, she's "aiming low" and is probably doing it out of some unhealthy necessity.

Me, even for something casual, expect my guy to have his stuff together - or at least working towards getting his stuff together. No, it's not cuz he's gonna spend money on my like in a traditional/serious RL, but come on - it's embarrassing if we're gonna go out for a drink and he has no cash and/or I gotta pick him up in my vehicle.

My last FWB, he'd bring me flowers and occasionally we'd go out to eat, have drinks. I also reciprocated. Sometimes when we'd meet up, I'd bring a picnic basket with things to snack on and wine. Or, I'd pick up something to munch on. And, when he'd come over - like he'd buy the food and I supply the booze. Not expensive by any means, but trust me, some guys cannot even afford that now a days and expect to date women...And, it would be a turn off for me if he can't even afford such simple things.

June 19, 2015

Sure, different people claim to want different things. But if you try to play love games with people who are not interested in love, they have little motivation to stay with you or treat you right. So, with those other half-baked relationships, you stand a big chance of just spinning your wheels at the least, or getting burned badly by rejection. Good luck with that!

If you go against the house rules, don't be surprised if you get kicked to the curb. Besides, women in love are more fun, they do it better.

other half-baked relationships -- If it's half-baked, it means the parties are not on the same page. Usually, when it's half-baked, one or the other wants something more and knows the other one isn't all in, but rides it out. They ride the "relationship pony" until they get thrown off.

June 19, 2015

Sure, different people claim to want different things. But if you try to play love games with people who are not interested in love, they have little motivation to stay with you or treat you right. So, with those other half-baked relationships, you stand a big chance of just spinning your wheels at the least, or getting burned badly by rejection. Good luck with that!

If you go against the house rules, don't be surprised if you get kicked to the curb. Besides, women in love are more fun, they do it better.

Well, just cuz you're in something casual doesn't mean you treat the person like an un-paid ho.

That's why I felt so bad when my FWB and I ended. We weren't serious - but he bought me flowers, he was nice and a gentleman when we were together. He'd take me out to eat and stuff. That was nice...

Recently, when I met someone on OLD, and he texted me at the middle of my day and was like "hey, I'm not doing anything now" and I haven't even met him and had a coffee yet, I was seriously turned off. So, what? Did he expect me to be like Domino's and hop in my car and drive to "serve" him?

Pleeeze, get a clue.

You say "hey babe, I would like to meet you, how 'bout a coffee/drink'? and then work me into the bedroom - especially if this is the first time we meet.

Boy, some guys have no idea how to treat a woman - even in a casual thing. Like the foreplay thread I responded to last night. Foreplay involves how you treat a woman before the actual sex happens. That may involve you having enough money to buy her a drink/coffee, driving to her place, etc. A "scrub" (broke guy) ain't gonna do that for me.

TLC - "Scrubs"

June 19, 2015

un-paid ho.

by definition, ho's are paid

June 19, 2015

No. I know some complete losers that juggle women.

June 19, 2015

Needing a "ton of money" to date is definitely a misconception.

Don't get me wrong. Expensive dates from time to time are great for showing a woman you appreciate her. Also, traveling together is awesome But if a woman is genuine and likes you for you, what she'll appreciate more is effort to be creative and the consistency of spending time with her. So when you're single, research creative date ideas and scout locations. Then money is never an issue. I've had four awesome public dates so far with a woman I've been seeing and have spent under $30 total. Yet she blows up my phone and can't keep her hands off me.

June 19, 2015

I've had four awesome public dates so far with a woman I've been seeing and have spent under $30 total. Yet she blows up my phone and can't keep her hands off me.

i'm glad she is not a gold-digger ff365

June 19, 2015

Like let's say the guy wants a girlfriend but at the same time he is not looking to get married or settle down yet, he still wants to play the field, does the guy still need to be financially stable, well-established, be living on his own if he just wants to date casually?

Also is there an age in which a guy is too old for casual dating, in which the older he gets, the only women he will be stuck with being able to date, are women that are looking to get married or settle down, are looking for a serious, committed, long-term relationship, etc.?

And should a guy pursue a certain age-range of women if he is not looking to get married or settle down, just wants something casual?

In short, yes. You want a non-committed relationship (don't call it a girlfriend because that cheapens the title. A girlfriend is someone you commit to) and want to date around. That's going to cost you, financially.

June 19, 2015

i'm glad she is not a gold-digger ff365

Stayed tuned for posts from a needy, clingy, smothering dating partner that that says she thought things were going so well with a guy she threw herself at and can't understand why he won't date her anymore

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Does a guy have to be financially stable if he wants to date casually?

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