Broke NC, X is back

[JewelD]

You might feel indifferent now, but I've give it at least a few weeks and reassess how you feel. You're probably on a contact high right now, and it takes awhile to sort out your feelings after that. It would be better if you got to a point where you didn't even consider contacting your ex. Breaking NC isn't going to make you realize you are indifferent. That takes a good bit of time in my experience.

 

I don't advocate breaking NC, but sometimes you have to touch the stove to realize how hot it is. This is coming from a person who has gone NC immediately after a breakup and who has also broken it multiple times in other instances. There is a reason why most people advocate NC. And not just on LS. NC isn't a concept invented and only advised on LS. You will get the same advice virtually everywhere.

 

Like I said quite a few times, I am NOT asking for advice on this post. I do not need your assessment of my situation based on a paragraph I wrote. You don't know me, you don't know my ex, you don't know what I feel, you don't know what I want or what my values are.

 

and that's the key issue I've been talking about. People love trying to tell people about themselves. My assessment of you would be that perhaps you think you know a lot, but you really know very little and feel bigger and more important when you get to express yourself anonymously online, even though you probably can't/don't apply any of it to your own life.

 

You didn't ask for it, but hey there it is anyway to illustrate my point. and to completely bypass the truth and the heart of my post shows just how right I am. There are a lot of RUDE people on these boards. and the supposedly 'kind' ones who don't call them out on it are just as rude.

Edited June 20, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed insult directed at members on LS

[JewelD]

Yeah, it seems little overkill and kinda angry. I mean, if you don't want the advice, you don't have to be here. There are plenty of other forums out there, and most of us can solicit advice from family/friends. I know the OP isn't asking for advice in this post, but that's why most people end up here. You have to realize what you are getting into with a public forum. I give advice, and people can take it or leave it. It's not going to hurt my feelings if they don't agree. I think that anyone who ends up on LS is going through some hurt and needs some help. Most people don't go to public forums for advice unless they are truly confused and hurt.

 

My personal opinion is that the OP got a little ego hit off of that interaction with her ex. It's nice at the time, but it doesn't really help in the long run. The day you've truly moved on and become indifferent is the day when it wouldn't even occur to you to contact your ex.

 

A lot of people do come on these forums, fresh from a breakup, and feel like everyone here is negative and giving the same advice- go NC. I get that. I can understand that POV. But if you stick around long enough, you'll realize that most people here are giving solid advice based on past mistakes/experiences.

 

Overkill and angry? As do majority of the posts towards people who break NC or don't follow advice. I am well aware I don't have to be here, and I'm curious as to why you've been here so long. This is something I felt needed to be said. If you were an expert, why are you getting dumped? Basic question no one will answer.

 

A lot of people give advice and seriously get upset with the poster if they don't take it or if they don't agree with it. So just because you leave it at that doesn't mean everyone else is doing the same.

 

My personal opinion is that MISERY LOVES COMPANY. It feeds off it. How about some people need to tone it down. Nobody on here has all the answers, so to act like you know or that you're much wiser than everyone when you're probably just as broken is pathetic.

 

Solid advice. Yes, nc nc nc. So original. So fresh. So helpful to individual situations.

[aloneinaz]

Jewel,

 

 

I'm really sorry you're going thru this break up pain. I really am. I come back off/on to offer and share what's worked for me and others that have been where you are now. It sucks and is painful. I've never felt as bad as I did when I was dumped. I did learn a lot about things from this site and most of the advice helped me successfully move on. Yes, you have to filter each person's advice as to what you agree with and what you don't. You have to on any forum.

 

 

 

 

But with that said and from you're saying about this site and the participants, why do you continue to come back to the Loveshack when you clearly don't think much of it?

Edited June 20, 2015 by aloneinaz

[JewelD]

Jewel,

 

 

I'm really sorry you're going thru this break up pain. I really am. I come back off/on to offer and share what's worked for me and others that have been where you are now. It sucks and is painful. I've never felt as bad as I did when I was dumped. I did learn a lot about things from this site and most of the advice helped me successfully move on. Yes, you have to filter and take each persons advice. You have to on any forum.

 

 

 

 

But with that said and from you're saying about this site and the participants, why do you continue to come back to the Loveshack when you clearly don't think much of it?

 

...I'm not in a relationship, but I am not in pain. Again, proving my point, why are you assuming you know what I feel when I've literally said how I feel already? What exactly in your brain makes you believe that you know me better than me? You do not. You never will. To insinuate such is insulting and I'm sorry you're in pain.

 

I highly doubt most freshly broken up people are thinking of filtering, especially when there's a lot of 'slush' out there. Seems so much more simpler for the people already here to just be somewhat kind and not assume they know everything when they don't.

 

I've literally been here like a week, I came back to say this for those people who know EXACTLY what I'm talking about and in the hopes that those people being rude would actually be called out on it to make it a better experience for newcomers. I wanted to talk to other people as well, but I certainly never intended to stay here past the resolution of my breakup. If you want to be happy, can't surround yourself with sadness on a daily basis. But no one's advocating that here either. hm, interesting.

[JewelD]

Jewel,

 

 

I'm really sorry you're going thru this break up pain. I really am. I come back off/on to offer and share what's worked for me and others that have been where you are now. It sucks and is painful. I've never felt as bad as I did when I was dumped. I did learn a lot about things from this site and most of the advice helped me successfully move on. Yes, you have to filter each person's advice as to what you agree with and what you don't. You have to on any forum.

 

 

 

 

But with that said and from you're saying about this site and the participants, why do you continue to come back to the Loveshack when you clearly don't think much of it?

 

And I was waiting for your "if you don't like it, you can leave" deflection statement. How about, "If there's something wrong, it should be fixed"? But that's a bit proactive for some people who prefer to remain static.

[dyna85]

Last time I checked, BC and aloneinaz were not the loveshack police.

 

 

Sorry, but you don't get to dictate who peruses the forum and gives input here. We're all entitled to our own perspective, even if it should contrast yours. And no, it doesn't make us overkill and angry. It makes us different in our thought process, which is normal, considering we're human, and we don't all think alike.

 

 

I second, third, and fourth JewelD, as her sentiments could not be more on point and self-aware.

[Robert]

While dyna85 is correct about the "LS police", this thread has gotten moderation's attention.

 

As per guidelines, members are asked to stay within community guidelines meaning that posts remain on topic. Considering that this one has run its course and the OP is not looking for advice on their personal situation, this thread will be closed.

 

If members would like to discuss the No Contact topic, please look to General Discussions or pinned topics on that topic.

 

Thank you.