Snowy90 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Day 21 of no contact and yup I folded! I'm not upset. I do not expect a reply. I basically reminded him of something that expires soon that I bought for him, made a light joke about a past memory and agreed on the break up. I think NC is good in finding yurself, and it has helped a great deal. It definately shifts your focus and makes you realise how important you need to be to yourself. After that yu'll realise yur exes worth. Link to post Share on other sites
foolinlove79 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Why did you break no contact? Just to see how he is? Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Day 21 of no contact and yup I folded! I'm not upset. I do not expect a reply. I basically reminded him of something that expires soon that I bought for him, made a light joke about a past memory and agreed on the break up. I think NC is good in finding yurself, and it has helped a great deal. It definately shifts your focus and makes you realise how important you need to be to yourself. After that yu'll realise yur exes worth. Yes, NC is good for all of those things. It is not good for having to keep in your mind things that you need to remind your ex of, so that it doesn't expire. It's about you. You will be bothered if he doesn't respond, don't kid yourself. Then, if he does, you'll probably keep responding to each other. NC works only if it is practiced. Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I feel like it'll hit you in a day or maybe even a few days that you're sad he didn't respond. We all feel empowered when we send that text or email but after that it's just a waiting game, and feeling like they don't care if they say nothing. I broke NC at the 3 week mark as well but it was in person precisely for that reason (so I wouldn't have to worry about the text back. I could just get it all out in front of him). You will probably be tempted to text again if there's no response. Don't do it. I have been there before and it's awful. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Ugh NEVER break NC! I kind of did this with my ex by paying the rent before SHE got evicted. Went to see her for "breakup sex" and it was the most painful experience. 2 weeks after I left she was with the guy she left me for. She was cold and heartless when she spoke to me. I was like you the first couple of days but it truly scars you after awhile it hits you. Please for your sake don't do it again. You deserve to be happy my friend. Live long and prosper. -F Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snowy90 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 It'd best if I don't hear from him again. That's why I sent it in an email. I think I'm less likely to get a response. I also know almost 100% that he won't get back. So there will be nothing to tempt me. I'm assuming hes met someone else, may have been his reason for leaving, not really sure. But we have been on & off for the longest time. So I know what he's like usually, and in the past he has caved within a couple of days and begging for me back. I know it's it this time. My reason to contact was simple: I'm being the bigger person, yes yu can ignore something until it goes away, but at least now I have put myself in a good position. I didn't ask anything or require a response, n now if I ever see him with friends, I will comfortable being polite n saying hello because I've made my peace. Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 Then I can understand that reasoning. That's why I did it and I feel better now. Texts and emails just leave everything up in the air. I feel like it's a waiting game and nonstop staring at your phone or computer, wondering. Good luck though. If you feel it's what you needed for closure, then that's to be respected. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AIJ Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 It'd best if I don't hear from him again. That's why I sent it in an email. I think I'm less likely to get a response. I also know almost 100% that he won't get back. So there will be nothing to tempt me. I'm assuming hes met someone else, may have been his reason for leaving, not really sure. But we have been on & off for the longest time. So I know what he's like usually, and in the past he has caved within a couple of days and begging for me back. I know it's it this time. My reason to contact was simple: I'm being the bigger person, yes yu can ignore something until it goes away, but at least now I have put myself in a good position. I didn't ask anything or require a response, n now if I ever see him with friends, I will comfortable being polite n saying hello because I've made my peace. Kind of feel like you might be lying to yourself a little bit here. 'almost 100%' isn't going to cut it. If you hadn't sent him a message, then you wouldn't be unsure as to whether or not he'd reply. I bet every time your phone goes off, your heart jumps thinking it's him. And it's not. And you get upset. If I'm completely wrong on that one, kudos to you, I just feel like 21 days of no contact, folding, and then claiming it hasn't affected you, is quite out of the ordinary. Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 My reason to contact was simple: I'm being the bigger person, yes yu can ignore something until it goes away, but at least now I have put myself in a good position. I didn't ask anything or require a response, n now if I ever see him with friends, I will comfortable being polite n saying hello because I've made my peace. If you have to send him an email to prove this, then it's not the case. Sorry. Best of luck getting back on track when you realize this just brought you back to square one. Like 3-4 days from now when he really doesn't contact you. It's okay, though. We all live and learn. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snowy90 Posted June 19, 2015 Author Share Posted June 19, 2015 I don't want him to contact me. It would just set me back. I think telling him I agree with the break up was my way of saying don't contact me again. Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 As usual, you're getting a handful of people shaming you. What I can say from recent experience is that you may be experiencing a contact high. I'd often feel great after sending a text, it's similar to a cigarette addict feeling great after taking a puff after 21 days, but then with time...the urge comes back and you want more. As others have said, we hope that's not the case for you and that this truly brings you closure. If it doesn't, post on here again! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I caved many times and told myself 'wow, I feel better for it. Now I have closure. Oh wait, what about when he said... Now I am really angry/upset/confused and will contact him again to give him a piece of my mind. Wait, now I feel bad, I will apologise and make peace'. It's just another set of breakup emotions. Even still, I am tempted years later to contact him and justify it in all sorts of bizarre ways. Most of all, it would be to release some emotions, and then create new terrible ones when he responds/doesn't respond. It is not worth the time, effort and thought. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snowy90 Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 Realised I sent it to his wrong email. Oh well. If he's meant to get it he will lol. Woops. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Is this is the same ex who got a call from someone who found your phone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snowy90 Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 Yeh it is the same Link to post Share on other sites
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