oberkeat Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 29, male. I guess this is more to vent than anything else. I'm having this recurring problem: I meet high quality women who are around my age in real life all the time…they just never happen to be single (at the same time, the women I meet online are always flakes, dysfunctional, or have some type of emotional baggage; they all seem to be at the bottom of the barrel.) Through my current job, I got to go to an all-day professional development conference today. This attractive girl there struck up a conversation with me. She was asking about my degree, how I like my job, where I saw myself in the future, etc. Really getting to know me. I cracked quite a few jokes that gave her belly laughs. We seemed to have quite a lot in common and good chemistry – except that diamond wedding ring on her finger . This has happened so many times, I'm starting to think it's permanent: all the worthwhile women in my age range are already taken. If I didn't find one when I was in my early 20's, I'm probably screwed and too old to find the right one .
fireflywy Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 I can't answer your question, but I CAN share this (British comedy, f word used) and tell you that, if its used in comedy, you're not the only one experiencing it. One of the main characters, throughout the show has your very problem. Snuff Box - Boyfriend sketches: 4
joseb Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 I can't answer your question, but I CAN share this (British comedy, f word used) and tell you that, if its used in comedy, you're not the only one experiencing it. One of the main characters, throughout the show has your very problem. Snuff Box - Boyfriend sketches: Oh man - another snuff box fan! I love the Boyfriend sketches the best of all - always think of them when I'm chatting up a girl and she mentions her BF Whiskey! 1
Author oberkeat Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 I don't really relate to guys who complain about rejections from women. My problem has never really been "rejection." If a girl isn't interested, there's really no point dwelling on it. It's easy for me to move on because I feel I've got a lot to offer. My problem is finding any smart, attractive, friendly women in my age range who aren't already taken. That's been damn-near impossible. Ever wanted to buy that one thing, and it was totally sold out?
fireflywy Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 I don't really relate to guys who complain about rejections from women. My problem has never really been "rejection." If a girl isn't interested, there's really no point dwelling on it. It's easy for me to move on because I feel I've got a lot to offer. My problem is finding any smart, attractive, friendly women in my age range who aren't already taken. That's been damn-near impossible. Ever wanted to buy that one thing, and it was totally sold out? I think that's what's funny about the skit. The guy wasn't rejected, he just found out they all had boyfriends. Lol As for what you're feeling, I'm 37, so I know it well. No worries. She'll hit you someday. Just keep trying.
Author oberkeat Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 I think that's what's funny about the skit. The guy wasn't rejected, he just found out they all had boyfriends. Lol As for what you're feeling, I'm 37, so I know it well. No worries. She'll hit you someday. Just keep trying. That is a hilarious video. Made me feel better. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 All I can is that your 'problem' will definitely be 5 times worse in ten years if you are still single. Bank on that.
joseb Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 What age group are you looking for? Maybe go a little younger, they are more likely to be single. And look for rings - if there, don't waste your time While a lot of women are in relationships, not all are. So give it time.
minimariah Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 If I didn't find one when I was in my early 20's, I'm probably screwed and too old to find the right one . you have got to be kidding me. i know a lot of beautiful, successful women AND men... none of them even planned to marry and have kids in their twenties -- they were too busy building up a career. that resulted in them dating in their later 20ies and early 30ies so they're all currently single. look on more places and look harder, all i can tell you. 29 is super young, that's the age where most folks REALLY start to date seriously... so i'll say you're right on time.
ApexTitanium Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 Ive had girls without rings say "I have a bf" after a fun conversation and finding out we have alot in common when I ask them if they would like to go get lunch sometime. Then see them 20 min later flirting with some dude that looks like hes on roids and tatoos everywhere. Makes me laugh.
joseb Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 If I didn't find one when I was in my early 20's, I'm probably screwed and too old to find the right one . Wow I missed this first time around. This is one of the silliest things I've heard. You are in the prime of your life. If I could pick an age to be, it would probably be about 28. You are probably the perfect age to attract girls. I'm 44, and I don't think I am in any way too old.
ascendotum Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 (edited) I can't answer your question, but I CAN share this (British comedy, f word used) and tell you that, if its used in comedy, you're not the only one experiencing it. One of the main characters, throughout the show has your very problem. Snuff Box - Boyfriend sketches: Loved that clip. Yeh OP around your age I became single and I found the exact same thing and yep it was very frustrating. I think 29/30 is a key age were everyone wants to be in a serious relationship by then. A few I knew around that age got desperate and just grabbed the next person they found that liked them, which drops your single social circle more. At that age bracket the marriages and long term defacto relationship have not yet broken up either to put more sinlges cack out on the market. Sure there are men/women who are still single but they are a small % imo and as you found out the great catch men/women at that age have no need to use OLD. You got to expand your age range, or expand your social life to hopefully increase more encounters to improve your odds. Edited June 19, 2015 by ascendotum 1
carhill Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 In retrospect, having had the same issue, it boiled down to writing checks my social status and power couldn't cash. 1
Author oberkeat Posted June 19, 2015 Author Posted June 19, 2015 What age group are you looking for? Maybe go a little younger, they are more likely to be single. I guess I'm open to women 23-32, though really the only ones I encounter in my day to day are 30 or older. You make a good point, maybe I could try aiming for the younger end of that scale more. Not sure where early 20s women hang out. Wow I missed this first time around. This is one of the silliest things I've heard. You are in the prime of your life. If I could pick an age to be, it would probably be about 28. You are probably the perfect age to attract girls. It sure doesn't feel that way, but I hope you're right. Some pretty positive perspectives in this thread.
phineas Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 All I can is that your 'problem' will definitely be 5 times worse in ten years if you are still single. Bank on that. Not at all. The exact opposite. Plenty of good women in their late 30's /early 40's that are divorced.
minime13 Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 Attitude is everything. If you carry around the attitude that all the good ones are taken, then women will see that and they won't find you to be an attractive mate. No, not every good woman is taken at that age. Hardly. They could be single and you just haven't met them yet, or they could be in the wrong relationship right now and maybe you'll meet them down the road. Where, if you don't mind my asking, do you usually look?
Author oberkeat Posted June 19, 2015 Author Posted June 19, 2015 Attitude is everything. If you carry around the attitude that all the good ones are taken, then women will see that and they won't find you to be an attractive mate. No, not every good woman is taken at that age. Hardly. They could be single and you just haven't met them yet, or they could be in the wrong relationship right now and maybe you'll meet them down the road. Where, if you don't mind my asking, do you usually look? Good question. I don't really go anywhere to look. I just go about my regular routine and leave meeting single women up to chance. I work 9-5, where I rarely encounter attractive women. I go the gym (yoga class, or cycling class, or the treadmill). I might go to the bar for a drink or dinner one or two nights a week. Then I go home. That's pretty much my life.
minime13 Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 Good question. I don't really go anywhere to look. I just go about my regular routine and leave it up to chance. I work 9-5, where I rarely encounter attractive women. I go the gym (yoga class, or cycling class, or the treadmill). I might go to the bar for a drink or dinner one or two nights a week. Then I go home. That's pretty much my life. Well, that may be one of the problems. Try expanding your horizons a little. What are your interests?
Popsicle Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 (edited) 29, male. I guess this is more to vent than anything else. I'm having this recurring problem: I meet high quality women who are around my age in real life all the time…they just never happen to be single (at the same time, the women I meet online are always flakes, dysfunctional, or have some type of emotional baggage; they all seem to be at the bottom of the barrel.) story of my life, except reverse the genders... It gets worse as you get older. Edited June 19, 2015 by Popsicle
Author oberkeat Posted June 19, 2015 Author Posted June 19, 2015 Well, that may be one of the problems. Try expanding your horizons a little. What are your interests? Books, playing video games, foreign movies, graphic novels, science fiction, watching basketball games
joseb Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 story of my life, except reverse the genders... It gets worse as you get older. Maybe we should come up with some easily identifiable marker to say we are single? In Ireland we sometimes wore Claddagh rings a certain way to say you were single, but it's maybe a bit too subtle. 1
Popsicle Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 Maybe we should come up with some easily identifiable marker to say we are single? In Ireland we sometimes wore Claddagh rings a certain way to say you were single, but it's maybe a bit too subtle. That would be nice.
minime13 Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 Books, playing video games, foreign movies, graphic novels, science fiction, watching basketball games Are there any social clubs that cater to some of those interests in your area? Are those things you would want to have in common with a woman you date? Think of things that you enjoy that you would want a partner to enjoy with you. Then look out in your community for different opportunities to engage with others that have those similar interests.
Recommended Posts