Jonbones Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 I liked this girl and I thought she liked me but things happened that convinced me otherwise. I decided to stop talking to her. I just didn't text or snapchat her. Then texted me out of the blue a few days later and we had short conversation. I figured I'd ask her to hangout but she told me her parents were visiting from out of town and she didn't know what her schedule was. I figured the hell with it and was done. Apparently she wasn't though she has been snap chatting me like crazy lately. In fact we are on a hot streak right now. She is the one who iniated these as well. We work in the same building but different departments. Today she approached me and said she needed help getting some stuff. Then after she made an excuse to come with me to check on stuff, just the two of us. I'm so lost right now I'm not sure what to think.
halopend Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Well... It's human nature to want what you can't have so when you cut her off she snapped into "i gotta have him mode" and is now pursuing you. As for how you handle this now is up to you. Play too aloof and she'll just get tired pf chasing you and if too eager you'll loose the tension.
Author Jonbones Posted June 19, 2015 Author Posted June 19, 2015 Well... It's human nature to want what you can't have so when you cut her off she snapped into "i gotta have him mode" and is now pursuing you. As for how you handle this now is up to you. Play too aloof and she'll just get tired pf chasing you and if too eager you'll loose the tension. Alright so how much it too aloof and how much is too loose
PogoStick Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 Texting means nothing. Girls love to chat and will do it with someone they are not seriously interested in. The way you describe it, your girl is showing enough possible signs that you should ask her out. Next time just ask "Would you like to meet another time?" It's simple. Just be direct. I think guys avoid this because they are afraid of rejection. They would rather keep things ambiguous so they can avoid being rejected. My situation just this week. I had a 1st date planned but the girl canceled 2 days early. So how do I handle this? How do I know if she's flaking, not interested or what? She was respectful by not canceling at the last minute so I'm willing to accept her having a legitimate reason. I just asked her directly "I'd still like to meet you. Do you want to meet another time or would you like me to leave you alone?" And then she was able to answer directly "No don't leave me alone, I'm interested too. I hope you'll be understanding." If a girl isn't interested she'll at least say something like "It's a really busy time in my life right now. I don't expect you to wait around for me." That would be a polite rejection and then you don't have to waste your time anymore. 1
Author Jonbones Posted June 19, 2015 Author Posted June 19, 2015 Texting means nothing. Girls love to chat and will do it with someone they are not seriously interested in. The way you describe it, your girl is showing enough possible signs that you should ask her out. Next time just ask "Would you like to meet another time?" It's simple. Just be direct. I think guys avoid this because they are afraid of rejection. They would rather keep things ambiguous so they can avoid being rejected. My situation just this week. I had a 1st date planned but the girl canceled 2 days early. So how do I handle this? How do I know if she's flaking, not interested or what? She was respectful by not canceling at the last minute so I'm willing to accept her having a legitimate reason. Well I just asked her directly "I'd still like to meet you. Do you want to meet another time or would you like me to leave you alone?" And then she was able to answer directly "No don't leave me alone, I'm interested too. I hope you'll be understanding." If a girl isn't interested she'll at least say something like "It's a really busy time in my life right now. I don't expect you to wait around for me." That would be a polite rejection and then you don't have to waste your time anymore. Yea she didn't just say she was busy she actually gave an explanation. Which is true by the way. However I have been told if she did want to see me she would make time for me.
Author Jonbones Posted June 19, 2015 Author Posted June 19, 2015 Yea she didn't just say she was busy she actually gave an explanation. Which is true by the way. However I have been told if she did want to see me she would make time for me. I would also mention she approached a group of us at work but mainly talked to me. Her body was mostly facing me and she was engaging me for the most part.
d0nnivain Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 Jonbones Nothing has changed with this girl. When you asked her out she told you she was busy because her parents were in town. You took that as a personal rejection when really it was her telling you that the timing was off & she needed a few days. Now she's free & available. She is telling you that she's interested. Just ask her on a proper date already. Do not say wanna hang out some time. Do not make it sound like a causal group thing. Pick a time, a place & event, then ask specifically. 1
Author Jonbones Posted June 20, 2015 Author Posted June 20, 2015 Jonbones Nothing has changed with this girl. When you asked her out she told you she was busy because her parents were in town. You took that as a personal rejection when really it was her telling you that the timing was off & she needed a few days. Now she's free & available. She is telling you that she's interested. Just ask her on a proper date already. Do not say wanna hang out some time. Do not make it sound like a causal group thing. Pick a time, a place & event, then ask specifically. I'm just scared because I have had some bad experiences in the past. I have just been unsure if she is being friendly or if she is actually interested
preraph Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 Yep, like Donnivain says, just ask her out. "Lunch?"
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 I'm just scared because I have had some bad experiences in the past. I have just been unsure if she is being friendly or if she is actually interested It's uncomfortable to feel scared. However, if you ask & she says no, that is a few minutes of hurt compared to this on-going stress of not knowing. Just ask already If you don't ask, you never give her the opportunity to say yes.
katiegrl Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 I'm just scared because I have had some bad experiences in the past. I have just been unsure if she is being friendly or if she is actually interested Not getting why you're *scared*. What's the worst that can happen? She says no, you move on. Next. Will you die if she days no? No. Will you suffer irreparable harm if she says no? No. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. There are never guarantees in this life, it's all a risk. But you've got more going for ya here than most guys....she actually told you not to leave her alone; she is interested. So stop being a scaredy cat and ask her out....the way D0nnivain suggested...not "wanna hang out.". That sounds lame. Good luck! 1
Author Jonbones Posted June 20, 2015 Author Posted June 20, 2015 Not getting why you're *scared*. What's the worst that can happen? She says no, you move on. Next. Will you die if she days no? No. Will you suffer irreparable harm if she says no? No. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. There are never guarantees in this life, it's all a risk. But you've got more going for ya here than most guys....she actually told you not to leave her alone; she is interested. So stop being a scaredy cat and ask her out....the way D0nnivain suggested...not "wanna hang out.". That sounds lame. Good luck! I guess what scares me is we see each other around a lot and I just don't want things to be weird I know she's knows I like her and that's what makes this difficult. I just don't want to be led on. I guess it is good that some of the girls around me said that she was flirting with me but they are my friends so I don't know what to expect. Do you think since she knows I like her she would do things like this if she didn't like me as well. I know I need to take a risk here like I said I just don't want to led on. I get excited way too easily because from talking to her so much in person I could see we get along great. I love her sense of humor and her personality and it's not everyday I meet someone like that.
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 Ask. Even if she says no, go back to a fake it 'til you make it attitude & act around her like it doesn't matter. Put a little distance in there if it helps. I do think that she will say yes if you ask politely. 1
katiegrl Posted June 20, 2015 Posted June 20, 2015 I guess what scares me is we see each other around a lot and I just don't want things to be weird I know she's knows I like her and that's what makes this difficult. I just don't want to be led on. I guess it is good that some of the girls around me said that she was flirting with me but they are my friends so I don't know what to expect. Do you think since she knows I like her she would do things like this if she didn't like me as well. I know I need to take a risk here like I said I just don't want to led on. I get excited way too easily because from talking to her so much in person I could see we get along great. I love her sense of humor and her personality and it's not everyday I meet someone like that. From your original post -- "No don't leave me alone....I am interested too." Dude!!! What more do you need? Come on now ..... :)
Author Jonbones Posted June 20, 2015 Author Posted June 20, 2015 From your original post -- "No don't leave me alone....I am interested too." Dude!!! What more do you need? Come on now ..... :) Where are you reading that from? I don't see where I put that. I just said she made an excuse to come up with me. Then when I said I just have this other fir come she said no that she would.
Author Jonbones Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 Ask. Even if she says no, go back to a fake it 'til you make it attitude & act around her like it doesn't matter. Put a little distance in there if it helps. I do think that she will say yes if you ask politely. Also I want to say thank you. I know I'm not the easiest person to help.
katiegrl Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Where are you reading that from? I don't see where I put that. I just said she made an excuse to come up with me. Then when I said I just have this other fir come she said no that she would. Hmmm, reading your original post again, don't know where I got that from, another thread apparently..... my apologies!
Author Jonbones Posted June 21, 2015 Author Posted June 21, 2015 Hmmm, reading your original post again, don't know where I got that from, another thread apparently..... my apologies! Haha it's alright. Does it change your opinion
katiegrl Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Where are you reading that from? I don't see where I put that. I just said she made an excuse to come up with me. Then when I said I just have this other fir come she said no that she would. Jon...I figured out where I got it from. Pogo's post no. 4. Apologies again for getting my posters mixed up.. Listen to d0nnivain though....good stuff. Good luck!
d0nnivain Posted June 21, 2015 Posted June 21, 2015 Also I want to say thank you. I know I'm not the easiest person to help. You are welcome & You are fine. When you are scared / nervous it can be hard to take action. The fear of rejection seems overwhelming. Rejection is no fun but as bad as it is, it's better than the build up while you don't know.
Author Jonbones Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 You are welcome & You are fine. When you are scared / nervous it can be hard to take action. The fear of rejection seems overwhelming. Rejection is no fun but as bad as it is, it's better than the build up while you don't know. All in all I guess all I wanted to know is if I had a good chance of getting a yes
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