Almond_Joy Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Been living with BF for over 2 years, been together almost 4. I'm breaking up with him today after nearly a year of deliberation and it's only fair that I move out. Searching for an apartment is putting me on the verge of a panic attack I'm having trouble breathing and having chest pains. I'm sure other factors are at play here but the thought of not being able to find the apartment I want is putting me over the edge. I have to do this though. Has anyone experienced this and can offer some advice on calming down? I just started a new job a couple months ago I can't afford to have a breakdown or take time off.
ja123 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Sorry you are in such a panic. It's no wonder though: new job, breaking up. Claire Weekes has come highly recommended from several people on an anxiety forum. You could perhaps check out her books.
ja123 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Also, do you have to actually find an apartment today? You took a year to come to this decision, so why the rush?
Author Almond_Joy Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 I'm afraid he will try to "get a reaction" out of me in retaliation for the break up. He doesn't believe I feel bad about it, and he can be vindictive. I already feel miserable and I honestly don't know if I can handle him turning on me like that right now. So I just want to get out of his way ASAP. Thank you for the recommendation.
ja123 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Sorry to hear that. Obviously it's causing you additional stress. Can you take your time finding an apartment, then break-up with him? Also, have you reached out to friends and family to let them know what's going on?
ravfour4 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 My ex broke up with me and didn't want to move out, despite having a secret new love interest. I tried to kick her out, she broke down and had a panic attack and I ended up letting her stay. She had a new love interest, new apartment (eventually), a new job and new friends. She'd be a good person to ask lol
joseb Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 Can you get somewhere to stay temporarily (friend/family/short term accommodation) until you get an apartment? If not, can you postpone the breakup until you have something organised?
Author Almond_Joy Posted June 19, 2015 Author Posted June 19, 2015 If push comes to shove I'll stay in a hotel - didn't think about that. Thanks everyone.
NopeNah Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 If push comes to shove I'll stay in a hotel - didn't think about that. Thanks everyone. Yeah...Look into an extended stay place for a week or so. It'll give you time and space to find a place. Once you're out of his "space" you'll have a clearer head. 1
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