katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 katie, there are no callbacks to confirm in dating. This is not a doctor's office. Gaeta is right. Leaving critical date details out and callbacks to confirm are ways for people to weasel out of the date. OP, the next time a guy leaves out the time, day, or place, write him off and talk to the next guy. Don't let people take advantage of you. Okay got it. If I ever become single again.... this is good stuff to know. Thanks!
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Okay got it. If I ever become single again.... this is good stuff to know. Thanks! Well in defense of myself (and the guys)....the last time I had to go through any of this was when I was in my early 20's! To me it wasn't a big deal to text/email him first....and in my case anyway, he always texted back and we would discuss where to meet and then meet.
rester Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Hmmmm, I am thinking that since they scheduled an exact date and time, they DO have a date....and were gonna decide where to go later. Perfectly understandable and normal IMO. I know this may sound unbelievable, but some guys simply don't know that they are "supposed" to contact the woman beforehand to confirm. To them, it's confirmed...and they don't get the need to call the day prior to confirm what is already confirmed (in their minds anyway). Just one of the differences between men and women I guess. Anyway, if it were me, I would take a more positive approach and assume the date is ON, until he tells you otherwise. Since you are feeling anxious about it....why not send him a quick text asking "hey we still on for this evening"? If he doesn't respond within the hour after texting, assume it's off and make other plans. Hopefully though he will respond back confirming it's on, and you can then decide where to go... Let us know... If a guy doesn't know how to confirm both a time and place, what else isn't he going to know? Confirming plans is a pretty basic, everyday skill. Yeah, she could or should have called or texted last night to ask if they still had plans, but she really shouldn't have to.
Author Bobbi7 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 How did you leave it? Like, he said "let's go for dinner at 5:30 on Wednesday" and then that was it? No discussion of where to go? Or did he say he would let you know the place later? If the guy was interested enough he would have made it clear by now. Personally, I don't think it is worth contacting him. Why would you want to date a guy that doesn't respect you enough to let you know the plan in advance? So, on Tuesday night he asked if I had plans Thursday, I said no, he asked if I wanted to get a bite to eat, I said sure and asked him what time works for him, he said 5:30, that was fine with me, we both get off work at the same time. Then, he ended it with, "night is rolling in, good night Hun."
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 So just to confirm if I ever become single again.... If this convo ever took place: "Katie, you free to go out with me on Friday, say 6:00 pm" "Would love to...where shall we meet? "Hmmm....not sure yet, let me think about it and I will call you close to the time we're meeting and let you know." -------- Not a date? Write him off if he doesn't call the day prior or before noon the day of to confirm?
Gaeta Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 So just to confirm if I ever become single again.... If this convo ever took place: "Katie, you free to go out with me on Friday, say 6:00 pm" "Would love to...where shall we meet? "Hmmm....not sure yet, let me think about it and I will call you close to the time we're meeting and let you know." -------- Not a date? Write him off if he doesn't call the day prior or before noon the day of to confirm? That's ok if he calls. And he told you he would call. In this story here there is no I will call you to let you know 1
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 That's ok if he calls. And he told you he would call. In this story here there is no I will call you to let you know Okay got it.... thanks.
Gaeta Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 So, on Tuesday night he asked if I had plans Thursday, I said no, he asked if I wanted to get a bite to eat, I said sure and asked him what time works for him, he said 5:30, that was fine with me, we both get off work at the same time. Then, he ended it with, "night is rolling in, good night Hun." That is really-really-really weak. How old is he? I hate this honey thing before meeting. It screams player. 2
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 (edited) So, on Tuesday night he asked if I had plans Thursday, I said no, he asked if I wanted to get a bite to eat, I said sure and asked him what time works for him, he said 5:30, that was fine with me, we both get off work at the same time. Then, he ended it with, "night is rolling in, good night Hun." Shoot nevermind... got my days wrong.... I'm losing it over here. Edited June 18, 2015 by katiegrl
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 That is really-really-really weak. How old is he? I hate this honey thing before meeting. It screams player. Agree with that.... Gaeta....it's funny how you can so easily spot a player when it's happens to other women.... but not when it comes to your own experiences. Not judging or criticizing.... I think that happens a lot. Hard to be objective when it's happening to you.
Gaeta Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Agree with that.... Gaeta....it's funny how you can so easily spot a player when it's happens to other women.... but not when it comes to your own experiences. Not judging or criticizing.... I think that happens a lot. Hard to be objective when it's happening to you. That's why I need you guys to put me back on track once in a while ;-)
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 That's why I need you guys to put me back on track once in a while ;-) That's what we're here for!! Not sure if it's helping....hope so!! Hey I've got an idea. After you start a thread... read your initial post and imagine it was written by "another" poster. Think about how you would respond to her....then follow your own advice! Just a thought.... 1
Redhead14 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Agree with that.... Gaeta....it's funny how you can so easily spot a player when it's happens to other women.... but not when it comes to your own experiences. Not judging or criticizing.... I think that happens a lot. Hard to be objective when it's happening to you. Hun doesn't scream player, it's just a casual end of a sentence thing. What screams player is a guy who doesn't make CONCRETE plans and leaves a woman hanging until he decides what he's gonna do . . . or who he's gonna do it with. On OLD, setting up a meet up is the first real impression a guy gets to make. He's blown in my book. If she didn't know where by today, she should have made other plans instead of "waiting" around. If he texts or calls her an hour before the date, he's being disrespectful of her time. In fact if her calls her an hour before the "date", I'd tell him, I'm sorry, I didn't hear back from you, so I made other plans. Is this how he's going to handle all their dates? If he told her he'd call her, then he needs to do that. If he didn't say one way or the other, I might tell her to reach out to him. 1
Gary S Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Hun doesn't scream player, it's just a casual end of a sentence thing. What screams player is a guy who doesn't make CONCRETE plans and leaves a woman hanging until he decides what he's gonna do . . . or who he's gonna do it with. On OLD, setting up a meet up is the first real impression a guy gets to make. He's blown in my book. If she didn't know where by today, she should have made other plans instead of "waiting" around. If he texts or calls her an hour before the date, he's being disrespectful of her time. In fact if her calls her an hour before the "date", I'd tell him, I'm sorry, I didn't hear back from you, so I made other plans. Is this how he's going to handle all their dates? If he told her he'd call her, then he needs to do that. If he didn't say one way or the other, I might tell her to reach out to him. - go Redhead, go! I would not get bent out of shape if he called her "honey" once. Even I occasionally call a lady "sweetie". As long as he's not going on-and-on with the sweet nothings right out of the gate, it's not a major offence.
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Hun doesn't scream player, it's just a casual end of a sentence thing. What screams player is a guy who doesn't make CONCRETE plans and leaves a woman hanging until he decides what he's gonna do . . . or who he's gonna do it with. On OLD, setting up a meet up is the first real impression a guy gets to make. He's blown in my book. If she didn't know where by today, she should have made other plans instead of "waiting" around. If he texts or calls her an hour before the date, he's being disrespectful of her time. In fact if her calls her an hour before the "date", I'd tell him, I'm sorry, I didn't hear back from you, so I made other plans. Is this how he's going to handle all their dates? If he told her he'd call her, then he needs to do that. If he didn't say one way or the other, I might tell her to reach out to him. Underlined....well that's what I suggested, but got shot down. He did NOT say one way or the other... so she should reach out to him? Do I have this right?
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 - go Redhead, go! I would not get bent out of shape if he called her "honey" once. Even I occasionally call a lady "sweetie". As long as he's not going on-and-on with the sweet nothings right out of the gate, it's not a major offence. Darlin, Redhead also confirmed what I suggested earlier. To which you shot me down.... Read her last two sentences..... 1
Gary S Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Darlin, Redhead also confirmed what I suggested earlier. To which you shot me down.... Read her last two sentences..... - ditto sweetie. lol
Gaeta Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Hun doesn't scream player I find it condescending. If you have not met me I am not your sweetie or your honey. It might be cultural though. 1
Redhead14 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Underlined....well that's what I suggested, but got shot down. He did NOT say one way or the other... so she should reach out to him? Do I have this right? Sure, since they didn't even bother to nail that down, she should have called him the night before or that morning. She shares some "responsibility" in this case. And, OK, he may not have been sure about where to meet at that point, but he should have at least said "I"ll get back to you in the morning about it". Better yet, she should have made a suggestion. Maybe he doesn't know the area, whatever. She can take some control of the situation too but do it then. 1
Gary S Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 I find it condescending. If you have not met me I am not your sweetie or your honey. It might be cultural though. - this is true.
Gaeta Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Sure, since they didn't even bother to nail that down, she should have called him the night before or that morning. She shares some "responsibility" in this case. It's HIS invitation so how is it her responsibility to chase him down?
Redhead14 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 What we haave heere, is a faailure to communicate -- effectively
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 I find it condescending. If you have not met me I am not your sweetie or your honey. It might be cultural though. Yup...."babe" is another one. Ugh.... I am not your "babe" until I become your girlfriend. 1
katiegrl Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Sure, since they didn't even bother to nail that down, she should have called him the night before or that morning. She shares some "responsibility" in this case. And, OK, he may not have been sure about where to meet at that point, but he should have at least said "I"ll get back to you in the morning about it". Better yet, she should have made a suggestion. Maybe he doesn't know the area, whatever. She can take some control of the situation too but do it then. Thank you! My thoughts as well.... I guess when YOU suggest it... it's a good idea. When I suggest it, it gets shot down. Hee hee.... LOL
Redhead14 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 It's HIS invitation so how is it her responsibility to chase him down? Yes, it's HIS invitation and SHE accepted it. The responsibility is mutual now in terms of details and needed to be addressed right then and there. She let him get off the phone without clarity. He didn't tell her he'd call, so it's a grey area. That's both their problem. She could have said, OK, get back to me by X day and time with the place. And, then the ball would still be in his court. Right now, it's anybody's court. And, in one of my last posts, I said she could have made a suggestion about where to meet if he didn't know a place. If he dodged that, that would have been another "sign". 1
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