loneyBird Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 I had come to some recent epiphanies I wanted to share with each of you..... I am currently attempting to do a NC with my ex...not very successfully might I add...but all the same I feel an anger build up inside of me.... I am young, beautiful, and gosh darn it ... life is bloody short!!!! Think about it people....i know love is what makes the world a glorious place..and I still yearn for my ex, but do they really deserve us mourning over them..using OUR precious fleeting TIME....??????? What happens when you are older...or you think back to this period of time....are you going to think to yourself..."oh that's the time that X sucked all the life out of me...." I hope I don't...... So basically what I am saying is...find yourself...be happy....with yourself...and if they bloody want to come back to us down the line..then fine! But I swear to God I am not wasting another second of my precious life...the only life I get to live... on someone who doesn't care about me???? I know its hard to move on...but we have to realize what we are actually sacrificing when we grieve over them for too long
agnf666 Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 That is what I think!!!I have had NC for about 6 to 7 months now. It has been actually great! My ex has asking my Best friend how im doing and stuff like everytime he runs into her. So, I told her that I will not call him ... If he wants to talk to me he can pick up the phone and call. I will not waste another ounce of effort on him! So, I am happy right now! Who knows what will happen. I just go where the boat takes me until it sinks I guess!!!
moon Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 What happens when you are older...or you think back to this period of time....are you going to think to yourself..."oh that's the time that X sucked all the life out of me...." With the ex before the last one I had it took me at least two years before I found somebody else to date and started really recovering from it. I totally remember back to that post break up time as a sad period. But I didn't realize it as much then. I got very busy and accomplished a lot during that period. I went back to school and focused all my energies on grad school. When I got out I met my next boyfriend. But during that sad time I got very skinny, my head was filled with thoughts of my ex and regret. It's funny because I have been getting over my last ex now for the past six months and guess what's on the agenda next...school. I am going back and getting another graduate degree in a different subject---so it's sort of the same thing all over again. But I will at least be bettering myself. I think at the very least, designate the times when you are sad over a break up to do amazing things for yourself. Go back to school, travel, learn new talents, read books. Yes, you might still be sad through out the whole process, but at least you will gain something for yourself during that time period. The time period of my last, last break up was one of the most active and busy in my life. It drove me to keep moving and to try to keep the thoughts of my ex at bay. Of course I am totally over that ex now, as it's been years and years since we've been together. But I can't help but see that I've come full circle on it with my most current break up. So I am getting busy again. Break ups are never easy. No matter how many you have or how many times you try to tell yourself the next one's going to be easier---they just suck. But, yeah, eventually I think you get over it. I guess you also realize how you handle break ups. It usually takes me a while to get over them and it usually takes a new person, down the road, to really help me heal in the end. But I never rush the replacement......I don't understand people who do that. It has to feel like a new beginning when you meet the next person, after you've reached the end of the road with the last person, emotionally, physically and mentally. At least that's how I am.
margomango Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 I'm on week 3 and although he screwed up and owes me an apology - I find myself wanting to beg him to come back (I dumped him). Wacko thinking - I know. Why is it when you break up with someone you can be spitting mad at the time and end it thinking "That's it - I'm thru!!!" Then as the weeks pass you forget all about the crap they did to you and you suddenly have panic attacks in the middle of the night and start saying "I can't live without them - I must have them back!". Is this love or just the freak out period? I was the one who broke up and I think I feel worse than he does. I want him back and now I'm wanting to call and apologize.......what's wrong with this scenario?????
ashley83 Posted April 30, 2005 Posted April 30, 2005 Originally posted by margomango I was the one who broke up and I think I feel worse than he does. I want him back and now I'm wanting to call and apologize.......what's wrong with this scenario????? I hope my ex is feeling the same way you are!
beesknees Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 Originally posted by margomango Why is it when you break up with someone you can be spitting mad at the time and end it thinking "That's it - I'm thru!!!" Then as the weeks pass you forget all about the crap they did to you and you suddenly have panic attacks in the middle of the night and start saying "I can't live without them - I must have them back!". oh, i know! boy, do i know! it's like a roller coaster. one day, i feel strong and ready to move on with my life, and the next day i'm depressed and missing him badly again, and want to forgive all the crap he did to make me miserable. why must it be so hard? oh why?!
Jadey Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 Originally posted by ashley83 I hope my ex is feeling the same way you are! lol tell me about it! I just can not do it. I cant help but txt him and stuff. I want him back so damn bad Its too hard for me to have no contact with him cos at the moment i HAVE to see him. Were both still at school and have the same friends so its near enough impossible. In 2 months i leave and he stays on so who knows im just hoping he will miss me and realise wot hes done and that he needs me But i cant imagine not talking to im through txt and phone calls How do you guys manage it?!
ErinErinErin Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 I love you guys- you are going through the exact same thing as myself! Wondering if they still love you need you and want to be with you...The no contact thing is the hardest...I am on day four myself... The thing that makes me stay NC for the next little while is not letting him know that I am thinking about him... He is the one needing the break but still asked about 30 times if I would call HIM!!! So I know he is expecting me to be weak and he wants some reassurance that I need and love him...but he will have to wait for that for awhile... The thing that may be the best is to have NC for about a week or two...then a simple message about calling you if they want to talk is what I'm going to do...put the ball in their court so to speak...let them make the next move- but for this you have to use email or text msg or something...that way they know that you do think about them but it is up to them to make the next move...if they want to and care about you they will want to talk...sometimes this is just their test to you... Be strong!!!
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