Ravenflower Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 3 weeks ago my bf ended things. There was no warning signs or anything to lead me to think anything was wrong. We started out intense, it was that instant attraction, we clicked and it was amazing, each day we grew closer. Then he was told his job would take him away for up to 2years, at first he was ok with it and said we'll make it work, then suddenly he decided it would be too hard, that being with me and constantly having someone to miss would make time drag on. He says he still feels the same for me but that he feels ending it was what he needs. I don't know how to move on, we still talk every day, he says he doesnt want me out of his life. I feel like Ill never feel this way or this strongly for anyone else.
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 This is the classic "I am ending the relationship, but will still continue to use you as a point of interest until I leave". That's totally selfish. You cannot in any way shape or form, 'move on' until you completely and totally disengage from him. because right now, you're still dangling. Read the NC Guide (see my signature) and implement it immediately, 100% right now. Come back for questions, but as from this moment, you have to stop, cease and prevent any further contact between you. Otherwise your heart will be crushed underfoot, repeatedly, until the day he decides to stop. And no, before you ask - 'Friendship' right now, is absolutely NOT possible.
Author Ravenflower Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 I was thinking just this, he wants me in his life on his terms, everytime I say goodbye he tells me he doesnt want me out of his life. I will read your nc thread and hopefully find the strength to stay far away from him. I know it won't be easy but it seems to be the only way. Love hurts lol
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 No, 'Love' doesn't hurt. People hurt. He is being very selfish. He's either in this, or he's out, but he can't have this both ways - or more precisely - HIS way. You need to tell him his attitude is selfish and self-serving. He can't expect to say that 'this wouldn't work' and then expect you to stick around. Which is why you HAVE to go No Contact. If he doesn't like it, he knows what he can do. And the best thing really would be to break up, because if he believes it wouldn't work, while he's still with you, he certainly won't be willing to put the effort in, and make it work, Long-Distance.
Author Ravenflower Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 I just read the nc guide, I will do my very best to stay away from him, 0 contact does sound like the only way Im going to move past him. I keep busy during the day, its the nights that are hard, when theres no one to talk to and no where to go, being left with just your thoughts is hard.
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