johndoe2 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 I met a bunch of people at this thing last week, and met some interesting people, and in the spirit of 'making new friends' I exchanged numbers with a guy, presumably to hang out some time or something (ironically, I only ended up at the aforementioned outing because a girl I met invited me there and was there to see her). In any case, this guy has now asked via text if I want to get dinner tomorrow. In a simpler world I would think nothing of it, but now I'm wondering if he's asking asking me out on a date. I don't really want to go and find out in the middle of things (had a friend who used to unknowingly accept dates from gay guys all the time, because he didn't know they were dates; was funny for me of course, but no doubt awkward for him); not sure how I ask and find out, in a way that isn't as unsubtle and awkward as just asking "hey, do you putt from the rough? 'Cause I don't sorry." Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 haha that is funny sorry :-) About you say something like you will check with a possible previous engagement cause this hot girl had mentioned doing something and you've been wanting to hit her for so long you won't miss that chance if she's still on for it. How does that sound? lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndoe2 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Share Posted June 18, 2015 haha that is funny sorry :-) About you say something like you will check with a possible previous engagement cause this hot girl had mentioned doing something and you've been wanting to hit her for so long you won't miss that chance if she's still on for it. How does that sound? lol That's an idea I guess. Fortunately he doesn't know me well enough to know hell will freeze over before I have a date with a hot girl. I'm wondering now if there must be a God, or at least a devil. All the attention I now find myself getting from guys while no woman will take a second look at me, it seems like too much of a sadistically ironic joke to be the product of an accidental universe. Oh well, at least those kids in Africa have it worse. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 That's an idea I guess. Fortunately he doesn't know me well enough to know hell will freeze over before I have a date with a hot girl. I'm wondering now if there must be a God, or at least a devil. All the attention I now find myself getting from guys while no woman will take a second look at me, it seems like too much of a sadistically ironic joke to be the product of an accidental universe. Oh well, at least those kids in Africa have it worse. Maybe they sense something you don't want to admit yet? =/ Just ask him if it's a date. And if he says yes then cancel. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
doeblin Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Maybe they sense something you don't want to admit yet? =/ Just ask him if it's a date. And if he says yes then cancel. The point is he would like him as a friend. And some straight guys get very offended if you presume they are gay. I agree with Gaeta. Hinting that you are attracted to girls could work. Maybe reschedule the dinner to a bar, and bring some buddies, then talk about some hot chicks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndoe2 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Share Posted June 18, 2015 Maybe they sense something you don't want to admit yet? =/ Ha, if only. I agree with Gaeta. Hinting that you are attracted to girls could work. Maybe reschedule the dinner to a bar, and bring some buddies, then talk about some hot chicks. Possible; of course, I don't have many buddies; if I did I wouldn't be looking for friends. Now I have to think of a way to subtly imply my heterosexuality over text, without choreographing my suspicions. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 I don't know too many straight guys who ask each other out to dinner. Maybe just counter with an offer to hang out at the bar and watch the game? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jejangles Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 That sounds like a date request to me, isn't it kind of unusual for heterosexual men who just met to grab dinner together? I would say can't do dinner, how about a coffee then make it clear over the coffee which way you lean. Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndoe2 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Share Posted June 18, 2015 That sounds like a date request to me, isn't it kind of unusual for heterosexual men who just met to grab dinner together? I would say can't do dinner, how about a coffee then make it clear over the coffee which way you lean. I used to eat dinner with other male friends at a restaurant from time to time, but it was always fairly spontaneous. Not planned for tomorrow. But I am never sure what's typical or atypical. I could change plans to something else, but it seems like that would just leave things still ambiguous, and I don't want to 'lead him on' so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You should simply accept the date and go with some lube and condoms while making the best of it. You never know, you may realize you where hitting from the wrong side of the plate! Ok, I'm joking. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Well this would solve your women problems. Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndoe2 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Share Posted June 18, 2015 You should simply accept the date and go with some lube and condoms while making the best of it. You never know, you may realize you where hitting from the wrong side of the plate! Will do! How do may make sure he knows I'm top not bottom? Do I have to take the seat facing the window or wear a certain color shirt? Lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 The point is he would like him as a friend. And some straight guys get very offended if you presume they are gay. I agree with Gaeta. Hinting that you are attracted to girls could work. Maybe reschedule the dinner to a bar, and bring some buddies, then talk about some hot chicks. Best advice yet right here ^^ Don't be awkward and ask if its a date, because if he's straight he'll be pissed off, and then wonder if YOU are gay OP Lol. Making it a group hangout at the bar is a much safer thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 (edited) In my experience, if an openly gay guy does not know for certain if you're gay or not, they don't simply ask you out to dinner. They will throw in some hints along with (or leading up to) the proposition so that you understand it's a date. They don't want awkwardness either or to waste anyone's time. Also, the mature ones won't try to convert you. If it's a nice joint that he's inviting you to that maybe serves up a nice bone-in rib eye cooked medium, and he's paying, I'd take the chance lol. Plus, you may actually get a friend out of it (which is what you want, though you'd be paying for your own steak). IMO, live on the edge dude and go! At the bare minimum you'd eat a great steak (sorry, have been having a steak craving for like 2 weeks) and have something funny to post about on Loveshack. Maybe it's just me but I don't fear or mind being put in awkward or uncomfortable situations. I think I like having my composure challeneged. The problem with the bar idea is that you now have to organize a gathering for a group and make sure everyone is available etc. just go to the dinner and get it over with it. With all that said, I don't get the feeling this is a gay advance. Edited June 18, 2015 by S_A Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Counter-offer a beer instead of dinner. Theoretically, you will know his intentions after a beer or two. Since you two don't really know each other well yet, you'd be making basic small talk, which at some point usually leads to things such as careers/jobs, hobbies/sports, and marital/family status. Link to post Share on other sites
Perrier Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 This post make me chuckle :-). OP I would just go along with the invite and talk about singles events you and how to improve odds of meeting women. I'd make sure your 'date' knows you are straight by commenting on the wait staff etc. The other man may be straight too, you never know. Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 You know, this situation can happen with a male/female situation as well. I asked a guy out for coffee once, because I was interested in him. He wasn't sure 'what it was'. He met me anyway - turned out he had a girlfriend and after that we became friends. I was okay with that. Just as long as you make it clear it's just two guys hanging out I think you should be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Lansing Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Funny because I tend to make more female friends probably for a similar reason. Always found it awkward to hang out/keep in touch with a new guy vs. a new girl. Personally, I would never ask a guy out to "dinner" though unless we were friends before. Did you guys meet at a food event or were you talking about a particular restaurant? Link to post Share on other sites
Author johndoe2 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Share Posted June 18, 2015 Maybe it's just me but I don't fear or mind being put in awkward or uncomfortable situations. I think I like having my composure challeneged. I don't handle awkward situations well, not sure it's a challenge I want. I'd make sure your 'date' knows you are straight by commenting on the wait staff etc. The other man may be straight too, you never know. Like 'isn't that waitress hot' type of commenting? That would work. Ironically, this isn't something I've ever done (pointing out good looking women in public and such); always figured it's something best kept in one's head. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 The point is he would like him as a friend. And some straight guys get very offended if you presume they are gay. I agree with Gaeta. Hinting that you are attracted to girls could work. Maybe reschedule the dinner to a bar, and bring some buddies, then talk about some hot chicks. Why would you want a guy who wants to blow you as a friend unless that intrigues you on some level? And why is it such a hard subject to bring up? I've had exactly one gay guy hit on me in my life and he got such bad vibes it lasted all of 30 seconds and I certainly didn't get a dinner invite. There was no conflict inside me over whether I should tell him I'm not interested or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Why would you want a guy who wants to blow you as a friend unless that intrigues you on some level? And why is it such a hard subject to bring up? He doesn't know if the guy is gay or not. He probably isn't. To ask him if he is gay might well be awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 It`s flattering when a gay bloke hits on me. Look at it that way. I agree with Rester, go for a beer it will soon become obvious if he`s gay. If he is.... Then politely thank him for his interest and explain that you are strictly `Butterside up` If he isn`t then you have a new mate to talk bollocks with..... Or even if he is gay you can be mates. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 It`s flattering when a gay bloke hits on me. Look at it that way. I agree with Rester, go for a beer it will soon become obvious if he`s gay. If he is.... Then politely thank him for his interest and explain that you are strictly `Butterside up` If he isn`t then you have a new mate to talk bollocks with..... Or even if he is gay you can be mates. John Doe2 definitely could do with a wingman. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 John Doe2 definitely could do with a wingman. Thats what I am thinking too! JD I think you should accept and just say something along the lines of *that would be great just been flaked on by this girl on online dating so would cheer me up no end. Cheer dude!* Well done you for finding a new friend! I know you have been struggling recently but hey look at you! Link to post Share on other sites
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