imtrying211 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 So I talked to my ex at work today, and became overwhelmed by sadness once again. I went out for a smoke, and he happened to come outside too. He came up to me and we talked for quite a while, just about life in general, no relationship stuff. I really thought I could handle it, I thought I was at a good place in my heart and head, but I was wrong. Afterwards I just felt sad, the tears started and all I wanted to do was go talk to him again. I hadn't cried in a couple of weeks, and thought I was OK with how things were between us. We would give the casual greetings when we'd see each other, there was no more awkward avoidance. But deep down I've been wanting more. I've wanted to talk to him, but stayed strong and kept my distance. I've wanted him to talk to me, and now that he has, I feel myself still wanting more. I know he just did it to be nice, and that's what I want, but don't think I can handle it. I don't want to tell him this because I don't want to seem weak, I don't want him to know I'm not over him. I feel like such a fool. I was going on about how breaking NC initially was a good thing because it helped me heal, getting past the ignoring each other at work issue. And now here I am upset because we talked. I feel like it just made me miss him even more, miss what we had. I don't know where to go from here. I'm sure everyone will say go strict NC, but I don't know if I can. I'm not sure at this point which is more painful.
ravfour4 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 Just think of this as a bump on the road. Go back to limited contact which seemed to be working well for you. You had a nice conversation, don't beat yourself up over it, he probably enjoyed it as well, just in a different way than you. If going back to limited contact hurts just as bad, go no contact. Just gauge how you're feeling and decide from there, prioritizing your happiness over all else.
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