Do modern women reject men too often?

[SmartDude]

I was thinking about online dating and stuff like that recently, just random thoughts.

 

With so many options with meeting people online, Women seem to be having their cake and eating it too...according to a lot of disgruntled male posters.

 

Is there truth to this? With all the options have women gone into a "hyper selection" mode? Meaning there is no room for even one mistake?

 

Have people in general stopped giving second chances, preferring to just go onto the next?

 

Ladies: Have you ever rejected a guy prematurely and then deeply regreted it later?

[d0nnivain]

With anything when you have more choices, you are going to be pickier.

 

GIGS is rampant on OLD.

[minime13]

I was thinking about online dating and stuff like that recently, just random thoughts.

 

With so many options with meeting people online, Women seem to be having their cake and eating it too...according to a lot of disgruntled male posters.

 

Is there truth to this? With all the options have women gone into a "hyper selection" mode? Meaning there is no room for even one mistake?

 

Have people in general stopped giving second chances, preferring to just go onto the next?

 

Ladies: Have you ever rejected a guy prematurely and then deeply regreted it later?

 

I think the online dating mentality leaves both men and women to be rather picky and in a perpetual state of non-commitment. I don't think it is specifically a trait that just women have.

 

It's really simple. Let's say you go to a restaurant and the restaurant has 2 options on the menu. How long will it take you to decide what you'd like to eat? Probably not long. Now, let's go to a restaurant that has a 5 page menu. How much longer will it take you to decide what to eat?

 

OLD = an endless menu.

[Keenly]

I'd never tell anyone they need to stop rejecting people, but both men and women give up too easily and throw in the towel for the most ridiculous of reasons.

 

 

 

What's the number 1 piece of advice given on LS? Leave.

[Gaeta]

I am known for giving 1 - 2 - 3 chances and it never amount to nothing.

 

Example: I had a 1st meet this afternoon. Out of the blue the man started telling me how he was an expert at finding the G spot. I said to him: no no no, NO talk about sex, I disqualify anyone talking sex on a first meet. He said ok sorry but 2 minutes later he's back at talking G spot and clitoris.

 

Am I too quick to dismiss him you think?

[minime13]

I am known for giving 1 - 2 - 3 chances and it never amount to nothing.

 

Example: I had a 1st meet this afternoon. Out of the blue the man started telling me how he was an expert at finding the G spot. I said to him: no no no, NO talk about sex, I disqualify anyone talking sex on a first meet. He said ok sorry but 2 minutes later he's back at talking G spot and clitoris.

 

Am I too quick to dismiss him you think?

 

Nope. Lack of respect, when shown that early, only gets worse. Next.

[fireflywy]

We live in a fast food, instant gratification culture. If the food isn't out in 5 minutes, we speed through the window without paying and go somewhere else.

 

What was the poll that one of the mags did with women where something like a 1000 polled women saw 75% of modern American men as undesireable?

[smackie9]

You are attracted to what you are attracted to so if you don't see what you like then you don't pick...Don't blame OLD for your own short comings. If you have trouble getting dates irl, the old will not be much better. I was picky and that was long before the internet was ever invented.

[Gaeta]

Nope. Lack of respect, when shown that early, only gets worse. Next.

 

But I bet you when I tell him I do not wish to see him again he'll be posting in a forum how women are superficial and always looking for the next best deal.

[fireflywy]

True.

 

My new philosophy is this: If you're looking for picture perfect rich, Prince Charming, then you better damn well be Pocahontas, Cinderella, Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty....

 

[TunaCat]

 

Example: I had a 1st meet this afternoon. Out of the blue the man started telling me how he was an expert at finding the G spot. I said to him: no no no, NO talk about sex, I disqualify anyone talking sex on a first meet. He said ok sorry but 2 minutes later he's back at talking G spot and clitoris.

 

Am I too quick to dismiss him you think?

 

Nope, absolutely not. A guy who does this does not respect your boundaries.

[minime13]

But I bet you when I tell him I do not wish to see him again he'll be posting in a forum how women are superficial and always looking for the next best deal.

 

Maybe he just did.

[xxoo]

I think the online dating mentality leaves both men and women to be rather picky and in a perpetual state of non-commitment. I don't think it is specifically a trait that just women have.

 

It's really simple. Let's say you go to a restaurant and the restaurant has 2 options on the menu. How long will it take you to decide what you'd like to eat? Probably not long. Now, let's go to a restaurant that has a 5 page menu. How much longer will it take you to decide what to eat?

 

OLD = an endless menu.

 

Still, if what you order tastes amazing to you, you'll know it. You'll also know if it tastes blah, or like crap.

 

But some people ordering aren't even hungry, and then nothing is particularly appetizing.

 

And some people are addicted to fast food.

[minime13]

Still, if what you order tastes amazing to you, you'll know it. You'll also know if it tastes blah, or like crap.

 

But some people ordering aren't even hungry, and then nothing is particularly appetizing.

 

And some people are addicted to fast food.

 

And then some people taste something amazing, then try it somewhere else ant it tastes even more amazing. Then try it again and it starts getting old.

 

This could go on forever.

 

Hence...

[SmartDude]

You are attracted to what you are attracted to so if you don't see what you like then you don't pick...Don't blame OLD for your own short comings. If you have trouble getting dates irl, the old will not be much better. I was picky and that was long before the internet was ever invented.

 

Im picky as well.

My hand gets tired from left swiping on tinder.

I was on match and could not find anyone within a 40 mile radius that I would even date once. meh.

 

If you are an average person you have all the options in the world it seems.

If you are "gifted", "smart" or "very attractive" its a double edged sword because you will be lonely despite having so many options.

 

The times when I do find someone who is my type its like finding water in the desert...Im too thirsty and it shows!

[Rejected Rosebud]

With so many options with meeting people online, Women seem to be having their cake and eating it too...according to a lot of disgruntled male posters.

What do you mean having their cake and eating it too? What do disgruntled random men have to do with cake eating women anyway, I'd just NEXT 'em.

 

Is there truth to this? With all the options have women gone into a "hyper selection" mode? Meaning there is no room for even one mistake?

 

Have people in general stopped giving second chances, preferring to just go onto the next?

 

You shouldn't be thinking in terms of "mistakes" if she doesn't dig you she just doesn't, it doesn't mean that you made any mistake, you don't need to be with a woman who isn't into you and who you have to worry about making mistakes around, we all make mistakes!! Somebody who likes you alot is going to be fine with your flaws and mistakes as long as they aren't hurtful or destructive for the most part!!

 

Also no, nobody needs to give extra chances in dating unless they really really want to, if you know you're not interested in somebody the stand-up thing to do is to not string them along. In relationships second chances are different than in dating tho.

[empresario]

It feels like there are more men seeking than women...which gives women more options.

 

 

In reality that's not exactly true. There are just more men searching for sex than there are women. If you boiled down both sides to the people looking for something real...my guess is the number of males/females would be pretty equal.

 

 

A man's problem is getting a female's attention. A females problem is being delimiting enough (read: picky) to find one of the few good guys.

 

 

Struggle bus for all!

[neowulf]

Western society has grown more sophisticated, along with women's tastes and expectations.

 

A lot of disgruntled men seem to behave like they deserve a gold star for putting their shirt on the right way and showing up.

 

Women expect more from men these days and a lot of them simply fail to past muster.

 

They don't want to change, or improve or grow. A lot of them behave like women *owe* them relationships.

 

In nature, it's common practice for the males of a species to compete for mates. It's not all that different in human terms.

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

In response to the OP's question, I think the rejections are coming from BOTH sides of the gender equation.

 

On a first date or meet up, a lot of guys will reject a woman right off the bat if her attire isn't provocative enough, if her body parts aren't big or small enough to attract him, if she doesn't flirt with him enough to turn him on or if he finds out she won't have sex with him that night. A lot of women will reject a guy from the get-go if he isn't taller than they are, if his body isn't muscular or attractive enough, if the guy talks about boring subject matter or if he makes any remark that she construes as disrespectful or just weird.

 

Sometimes, people are nervous during a first date or meet up and may inadvertently say or do something that they ordinarily wouldn't do. It's forgivable if they do it once and they catch themselves doing it or if their date informs them that what they said or did made them feel uncomfortable - but, if the 'offender' does it again or continuously throughout the evening, then oftentimes their date will 'next' them in their mind and once the night is over, the 'offender' will never hear from their date ever again.

 

In short, some people are more forgiving than others and some people are more tolerable of certain behaviors or gestures than others. As for me, well...I'm somewhere in the middle. I can forgive certain things a guy may say or do on a first date or early in the dating phase, but I won't forgive or tolerate other things. I don't mind a guy letting me know that he's physically/sexually attracted to me, as long as he does so in a subtle manner. If he comes on too strong, too perverted or does so in a disrespectful manner (the way Gaeta's date did when he brought up the g-spot) then he's SO 'nexted' in my mind.

 

I don't think it even has anything to do with OLD because this happens IRL too. It's like another poster said - it all boils down to who we're attracted to emotionally, psychologically and physically. We each like what we like, period. It has nothing to do with whether a guy or a woman makes 'one mistake' or even a couple of mistakes...although for some people, that probably would make or break a date depending on the severity of the 'offense'.

 

 

 

.

[fireflywy]

Western society has grown more sophisticated, along with women's tastes and expectations.

 

A lot of disgruntled men seem to behave like they deserve a gold star for putting their shirt on the right way and showing up.

 

Women expect more from men these days and a lot of them simply fail to past muster.

 

They don't want to change, or improve or grow. A lot of them behave like women *owe* them relationships.

 

In nature, it's common practice for the males of a species to compete for mates. It's not all that different in human terms.

 

Explain with more details. I'm very curious on this one....

[elaine567]

Western society has grown more sophisticated, along with women's tastes and expectations.

 

A lot of disgruntled men seem to behave like they deserve a gold star for putting their shirt on the right way and showing up.

 

Women expect more from men these days and a lot of them simply fail to past muster.

 

They don't want to change, or improve or grow. A lot of them behave like women *owe* them relationships.

 

 

I agree.

Many women are now well educated, women now expect certain standards of behaviour from men and men often fail those standards, you are right.

Gaeta for example, does not expect a man to go on about G spots and her clit on their first date. He is not 16, I presume, so what on earth was he thinking? Women want to be with adults, not overgrown schoolboys.

Women want equal partners, they want emotional connection, they want to be around interesting men, they want to be taken seriously and they do not want to be left carrying the whole relationship all by themselves.

Women are now often self sufficient, so the NEED for men is no longer to the fore.

Without that basic NEED, they can afford to be picky and they can afford to turf out those that do not come up to scratch too.

[fireflywy]

I agree.

Many women are now well educated, women now expect certain standards of behaviour from men and men often fail those standards, you are right.

Gaeta for example, does not expect a man to go on about G spots and her clit on their first date. He is not 16, I presume, so what on earth was he thinking? Women want to be with adults, not overgrown schoolboys.

Women want equal partners, they want emotional connection, they want to be around interesting men, they want to be taken seriously and they do not want to be left carrying the whole relationship all by themselves.

Women are now often self sufficient, so the NEED for men is no longer to the fore.

Without that basic NEED, they can afford to be picky and they can afford to turf out those that do not come up to scratch too.

 

Could you send this to my ex?

 

I passed muster quite well but the emotional, interesting, and carrying were her failures.

[elaine567]

Could you send this to my ex?

 

I passed muster quite well but the emotional, interesting, and carrying were her failures.

 

She may have a different take on that.

Three sides to every story.

[fireflywy]

She may have a different take on that.

Three sides to every story.

 

Nope. I'm pretty sure I did okay. In fact I'm certain. Thanks for trying to shoot me down though. I really needed more attempts at confusion and doubt. Much appreciated.

[Ruby Slippers]

I think it's clear the U.S. is an empire in decline, and just like with the fall of all the empires before it, culture and society are getting sicker by the day, losing touch with the most fundamental values of honesty, sincerity, humility. I see that many people have a grim, nihilistic, sadistic view of love, romance, and sex. I feel sorry for them, but I know their only hope is to recognize the demolition course they're on before it's too late.