pjm123 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 I mean ive been dating this girl for 6 months but a minor feeling inside maybe thinks this one night might of ruined it? I wouldnt know how or understand why it wouldnt make sense. I accidently came out complained about love making I wanted to have it more then once a night like few times i tried to be spontaneous she stopped me and wanted to be on phone i try to mess with her and she gets mad wants me to go shes on phone (ive seen guys mess with girls on phone before and its fine) So this is kind of weird. She isnt a prude or anything but she wants things on her terms. We had a little argument about it she said she needs to wind down at night because of work and stuff I just said alright thats fine I said i feel like I want sophisticated girl but I want her to be a slut behind closed doors. When we had sex that night it was a little off she wanted me to talk dirty and I just didnt feel like it so I dont know why? she cancelled date on friday night I just said ok and I told her today I want to meetup on saturday before my show im in her area she hasn't replied. ADVICE?
TheBathWater Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 I don't think six months of dating can go wrong over one interaction. It sounds like you wanted sex when she didn't, and like you might want it more often than she does. This is definitely something you can talk about. My sense is that she won't respond well though to being interrupted while on the phone, so I wouldn't do that again.
minime13 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 I mean ive been dating this girl for 6 months but a minor feeling inside maybe thinks this one night might of ruined it? I wouldnt know how or understand why it wouldnt make sense. I accidently came out complained about love making I wanted to have it more then once a night like few times i tried to be spontaneous she stopped me and wanted to be on phone i try to mess with her and she gets mad wants me to go shes on phone (ive seen guys mess with girls on phone before and its fine) So this is kind of weird. She isnt a prude or anything but she wants things on her terms. We had a little argument about it she said she needs to wind down at night because of work and stuff I just said alright thats fine I said i feel like I want sophisticated girl but I want her to be a slut behind closed doors. When we had sex that night it was a little off she wanted me to talk dirty and I just didnt feel like it so I dont know why? she cancelled date on friday night I just said ok and I told her today I want to meetup on saturday before my show im in her area she hasn't replied. ADVICE? She isn't into you fooling around with her while she's on the phone, so stop doing it. I don't think that is unreasonable for her to feel that way, so you should probably respect that. As far as sexual compatibility, that can break a relationship. If you have a higher sex drive than her, you probably won't be completely satisfied with her, sexually. Is that something you can handle? Can you compromise and make sex more about quality instead of quantity so that it is fulfilling for both of you? And another thing - she has requests for you to talk dirty but you're not into it (at least in the instance you provided). So, she had a sexual request that you were not into. Maybe you can look at it as you guys both not being into something sometimes and just roll with the punches because that is what will happen in a relationship from time to time? If her not wanting to get freaky while she's on the phone or not have sex as many times as you'd like is that bothersome, then talk about it. If you can't compromise, then maybe this isn't the right relationship for you.
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 That's not one little thing. You repeatedly did things she asked you not to do, like "mess with her" while she is on the phone. While some girls may think that is cute, most women think it's immature & annoying. You complained about sex. You point blank said you wanted her to behave in a certain way behind closed doors. If she is not comfortable in that role, of course she's going to walk. After she told you she needed to relax after a long day you continued to pester her. I see a pattern of you not caring about her wants or needs. However, since your complaint is that she is not meeting your wants & needs just let this go & find somebody more compatible. 2
TunaCat Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 That's not one little thing. You repeatedly did things she asked you not to do, like "mess with her" while she is on the phone. While some girls may think that is cute, most women think it's immature & annoying. You complained about sex. You point blank said you wanted her to behave in a certain way behind closed doors. If she is not comfortable in that role, of course she's going to walk. After she told you she needed to relax after a long day you continued to pester her. I see a pattern of you not caring about her wants or needs. However, since your complaint is that she is not meeting your wants & needs just let this go & find somebody more compatible. ^^Nailed it! Especially the thing about being messed with while she was on the phone. I'd be beyond pissed if someone I was dating tried that with me. Just because you've seen some guys do that to girls who appear to enjoy it, does NOT mean that your girlfriend would enjoy it.
Author pjm123 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 Well if she cancelled datelast week and im trying see her sat she said she will be with neices nephew is there way to get her to talk? If something wrong
Author pjm123 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 How do i let her know i wanna come over have sex??
minime13 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 How do i let her know i wanna come over have sex?? You don't. If you keep pushing her like this then it will be over. 1
elaine567 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 How do i let her know i wanna come over have sex?? ^^^^THIS^^^^ I guess you "wanna come over have sex" more than you want to be with this girl for herself and she has perhaps recognised that. You, acting like a horndog whilst she was on the phone was a bit too much, and perhaps she was not keen on the "slut" terminology either, some women do not like that, especially if they start to feel they are being just used for sex many times daily. Of course one interaction can ruin everything.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Women don't like complaining or begging...and when it comes to the dynamic of sex, a woman's got to want to open her legs, you trying to force or guilt her into it is sure to have a backlash and further consequences. You also therefore are avoiding and neglecting other needs she has, but she's not going to come out and tell you, most women expect you to know and figure them out. No way you did one thing wrong in six months and that's what caused the whole downfall, you're just unaware of your behavior and how it affects her and she is likely simply losing interest in you and going down that long windy road women need to go down in order to let go of a guy. 1
Author pjm123 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 If she blows me off next week can i get her to talk to me about it? How can i do that? I dont like to play gamrs go be honest i like to talk about problems to women work them out i guess some women dont like to do that??
kasop Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 The damage is done. You never pester a woman for sex. Thats a biiiig no-no. This is coming from a guy whos definitely learned his lesson from that. I believe the break up is about to come. Dont try to force anything at this point.
Redhead14 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 I mean ive been dating this girl for 6 months but a minor feeling inside maybe thinks this one night might of ruined it? I wouldnt know how or understand why it wouldnt make sense. I accidently came out complained about love making I wanted to have it more then once a night like few times i tried to be spontaneous she stopped me and wanted to be on phone i try to mess with her and she gets mad wants me to go shes on phone (ive seen guys mess with girls on phone before and its fine) So this is kind of weird. She isnt a prude or anything but she wants things on her terms. We had a little argument about it she said she needs to wind down at night because of work and stuff I just said alright thats fine I said i feel like I want sophisticated girl but I want her to be a slut behind closed doors. When we had sex that night it was a little off she wanted me to talk dirty and I just didnt feel like it so I dont know why? she cancelled date on friday night I just said ok and I told her today I want to meetup on saturday before my show im in her area she hasn't replied. ADVICE? You "complained" to her about sex and you two got pissy with each other. Later she was trying to accommodate you and wanted you do to something for her and you wouldn't. I bet that came off as being passive-aggressive. I'd leave it alone for a little while. Give her some space and let her come to you when she is ready. Then you have a calm, casually, non-pissy conversation about each other's sexual needs and, if necessary, come to a compromise. You already let her know you were unhappy with the situation, but she was having sex with you that night. She was making the effort to be a little slutty, you should have put the same effort into it. She was giving you what you wanted!!!!! Hellllooooo! I just didnt feel like it so I dont know why? You were being passive-aggressive because you weren't "over" the argument and you couldn't see the forest for the trees. i.e. she was trying to be slutty for you . . .
d0nnivain Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 If she blows me off next week can i get her to talk to me about it? How can i do that? I dont like to play gamrs go be honest i like to talk about problems to women work them out i guess some women dont like to do that?? I get what you are saying. It's frustrating when the other person won't be straight with you. However the impression I developed of you solely from the posts is that you are the immature one here -- "messing" with her while she's on the phone & seemingly only focused on sex. This Q paints a different picture but if my perception is more accurate, I suspect that the reason she won't talk to you is that she concluded you are no longer worth talking to you because she does not feel heard or understood in the relationship. Try doing something uncharacteristically gallant. Otherwise just give up.
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