ChuckDee33 Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Ex called me twice tonight. I didn't pick up. Last time I talked to her was last Friday just to see how her job interview went...I told her I would call her Sunday night but I never did. I've decided to stick to NC but I kept falling into the trap before of her feeling like she's got me tied to her finger. (She broke up with me last August, not mutual) Last we saw each other, I told her I wanted to do things with her that we used to do, even though I knew I didn't want to hang out as just her friend, which is all she wants. So I'm tired of feeling this way and I don't feel I should settle for less with her. I'll let her sort out her issues and if she wants to fight for me like I did for her (too much sometimes) then she will. But should I send her an email telling her I'm serious about NC? I'm doing it strictly for me, not to get her back or instigate any feelings from her. I know if I don't contact her she will keep calling to see what is going on with me or she will knock on my door. I really don't want her to do that anymore. I feel though that I should at least let her know how I feel about the situation now. Maybe just send her an email saying "I'm fine, everything is OK"? I'm going to be moving an hour away since my lease is up in a few weeks...I wanna get out of this place and leave this situation behind so I can have a fresh start. Should I even tell her about this? She knows when my lease is up and I know she'll come knocking on my door if I don't contact her before then. I don't wanna give in to her anymore, I gotta let her know I respect myself more than that and I want to move on. It's freakin tough as hell but I have to stop this cycle at somepoint with her. It's been eight months and I've done all I can to let her know how I feel about her.
BrotherAaron Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 You don't have to tell her to let her know. Actions speak a lot louder than words. Just make yourself too busy for her. When she calls, set a 5 minute time limit, and treat her like a distant aquaintance calling you for a favor, not like an old friend. She'll get the idea, and you'll seem stronger for having done it that way. If, at some poin, she mentions that your distant, tell her why. Tell her that it's because you don't really want her as a friend if you can't have her as a lover, but leave it at that. If she wants to talk about it, tell her that you've already talked enough about it, and there isn't anything left to say because she knows how you feel, and then end the conversation. Make it clear that for her to keep bothering you would be dishonest if she didn't want to get back together with you, and hold her to that... no more chit-chat.
fire Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 no dont tell her, just move! i wish i could do that! then it makes them wonder about what you have been saying to them instead of the other way round.
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