justsounsure Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 In all my other relationship endings, the person just stopped loving me. This one is different, she loves me, but there are logistical issues keeping us apart. We would have to be long distance for an unforeseen amount of time, and even with that, someone would have to give something up in order for us to be together again in the same area (her, her friends and family and comfort of the town she wants to live in, and me, my career and my friends and family in my hometown -- we met while she was working a temp project here where I live). We tried long distance for a month and it was awful. She (admittedly) is a terrible communicator, not to mention there was just no end sight to the distance, and neither one of us could understand why the other wouldn't just let go of their convictions and give up what they want in order for us to be together. It was awful. And then we visited each other. And we were right back in love and so happy to be in each other's arms again. But we still couldn't find a resolution. So we said goodbye. Neither of us still feel like this is the right thing to do. I think about her 24/7. I miss her so much. I cry every night. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I wonder if she's doing the right thing. I get angry, I get justified, I get scared, I get overcome with sadness ... all of which can happen in the matter of an hour. It's wearing me down. I have moments of calm and peace but inevitably something sets me off. Two days ago it was her texting me asking if we were just never going to talk again, which led to a fight. Yesterday, it was logging onto Facebook to find that an old friend took his own life, and just breaking down in raw emotion, feeling how short life could be, and how awful it is to leaves things in a bad way. I try to concentrate at work. I am in an open layout office and I have 6 people under me, and sometimes I just burst into tears at my desk. They understand. They know what I'm going through. But I just don't know how to get through it. Especially when every choice seems to be the wrong one.
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