Live with my ex she plays mind games. Where both girls and its time to stop her.

[jen1447]

Yeah it sounds like it's been mixed-signaled to death and that's the only thing that's really relevant. I know it sucks if you still feel love for her but you really shouldn't be thinking on this level at all, you should be planning how to get out of it. Sounds like it's actively hurting you.

 

p.s. - no don't get her anything for V-Day.

[chelseamoon]

Hi all

Yes iv ask.advice on this before so please only reply if not.going judge me. Thank you. . Il try and keep this simple. I was in a lesbian rel for 3 years. We had children each from past rel. The kids have always been well loved by us and never been a problem.

She broke up with me a year ago as said i was too needy and full on. We have lived together in separate parts of house with kids and that's how we like it. The problem is she knows i still love her and have spend the last year workin on me, getting councilling for my issues from past and been super nice and been the friend she wants. Only in the last 2 months has she started to hang around me more, helping me with my kids better and been pure chatty and a lil intrested in my day. My councillor said that she has seen me back off a lil now she's comin fw a bit. She has started recently been very play fighting with me(punching each other, wrestling fun) texting me more and i catch her watching me, but here's where I may be going wrong if i send a flirt joke text like do u miss me or mention someone on TV is cute or spend time with other friends and fam, she seems to get mad or makes no effort with them, unless it's all about her and her child then shes 100per cent attention. I do alot for her ans her kid as it's my character but sometimes I feel like a door mat. How Do i fiqure out what's going on cus it's beyond frustrating and if i ask does she have feelings she gets mad. But iv asked her does she care and realise how lucky she has it with me considering she dumped me and I still stand by her and she said yes (note- the nicer I am and chatty to her the more she's around me but as soon as I get quiet, talk smeone else or do my own thing she's back to backing off and quiet, and finally this v day, strangely she gave me a hug kiss on cheek (not like her) chocolate and a note that simple said happy v day. You have a lovely smile and eyes. Kisses at end. Aggh I'm confused. Does she fancy me or not.?? Now the other day we had a fight as I made her some.dinner and.minded.her child when.she met her.friend.but.i ended up late for an apt and i.didnt get a sorry or thanks. Just a i forgot the time so basically forgot her child too in my mind.or.im.a doormat , now shes moody cus i complaint., I feel.like tellin her.leave for.few.days but will it make a.diff she might just go. Help

[basil67]

No, you can't ask her to leave for a few days. Well, I guess you CAN ask but I think it wouldn't go over very well at all. So perhaps it's more than you shouldn't ask.

 

If she was starting to fancy you again, you probably blown it by being needy and wanting answers. Thing is, your current behaviour with her only shows that you haven't changed that much. The way things stand, it doesn't seem like she wants a reconciliation.

 

That being said, it must be unbearably hard for you to still be living with someone who you care about but not being able to to have a relationship.

 

I suggest you start to get in order whatever needs to happen for the two of you to go your separate ways. You won't be able to heal and move on while you're still living with her hoping and watching for any sign that she may be interested.

 

Be strong and cut the cord

Edited February 18, 2016 by basil67

[PegNosePete]

Nothing has changed since your last post.

 

Advice is the same. You need to separate your living arrangements, not for a few days, but permanently.

[d0nnivain]

Agree with PegNosePete. No matter how many times you ask this Q or change the facts slightly the core problem remains: you have to stop living with an EX. It's unhealthy especially for your children.

 

 

Move, already.

[Toodaloo]

Nothing has changed since your last post.

 

Advice is the same. You need to separate your living arrangements, not for a few days, but permanently.

 

This

 

Agree with PegNosePete. No matter how many times you ask this Q or change the facts slightly the core problem remains: you have to stop living with an EX. It's unhealthy especially for your children.

 

Move, already.

 

and this...

 

Chelsea its been over a year of you going on about this over and over again. Its like a stuck record. Your ex is not going to get back with you. All that happened was she was being friendly. Being friendly is not the pair of you getting back together or a little ray of hope that you will. Its just being friendly.

 

She needs to go and you need a proper split so you can move on.

 

Stop drivelling like this constantly and DO something with your life!

[chelseamoon]

So guys hi, iv wrote on this a few times. So pls if ye cannot.say something but bitch to.me.about asking a question then.please.say nothing at all. Thank you.

Anyways so after a 3 year same sex rel with my ex gf, iv decided to give up. We have kids from past rel so we decided to keep living together after she broke up last yr saying didn't fancy me anymore. she knows i still have feelings but as soon as I tried to talk about it or flirt she went mad. All my family said she's no respect for me in last while and knows I'm a door mat. I still did evrything with her as she wanted to be friends. I really tried but 6 months later now, I cant. Now after alot hard thinking and chatting to my family iv told her one night how i felt and all she did was throw it.in my face asking me what's wrong with me and walked away then texted sayin were roommates helping each other out, hang sometimes like friends do but that's all. She wants it all but without the romance but as soon as I try move on or exnore her she exnores me and acts like a child and exnores my kids. But then before that chat on v day she gave me flowers and card saying how she loves my smile and eyes with xx. She's a head ****. So now for mo iv let her stay here as we cannot afford to lose our jobs and it's help with kids. She now hides away in her part of home and barely talks or looks at me. What should I do. Am I in the wrong. I think it's best I become selfish nw stop doing stuff with her for a while and her kid and try move on.even doh I feel so bad as I'm a softy.how should I play it do ye think day to day?does she care cus she acts like she does one min but then never asks about my day or kids only all about her.Thanks

[chelseamoon]

Does she hate, love or playing games cause it's pissing me off. We still live together help?

together 5yrs. Broke up 1 year but still live in separate parts of house as we had a child each from past.

Anyways after spending the last yr fighting with and for her i decided enuf is enuf. She has used and treated me like a doormat last few mts. Made clear she doesnt want me bck or fancy me anymre. (were both girls here). Now last 3weeks iv gone NC on her after massive fight where she said hates me. We dont talk she hides away unless about bills or i talk 1st.she also stopped her child been minded by me.iv offered but now asks a friend she hardly ever sees only wen we fight if she's stuck.But lets me bring her out but get no thanks.She just seems mad at me and I think its cus i stood up for myself and not reacting to her games.iv just stayed out her way as iv had enuf of hurt but I still care and Hate this, but cant talk to her as she wont talk bout it,and shel do nothin unless i chase first.i loved her n did everything with and for them.Before we faught. She was always hanging and play fighting but went mad as i mentioned it was hard to be friends with her like she wants but gets sulky if I try move on. She even said met someone else but I dont belive her as shes always home. Now the other day she got my daughter a new top but when I went to say ty she had briars head on her and just said ok. I don't get her. Last day or two she started talking bit more friendly about kids mainly but that same day I was wit family for day not home and she now back to ignoring me...Help

[basil67]

Oh your poor children! Such a toxic environment for them to be living in Think of the role modelling the two of you are demonstrating to them.

 

Do what needs to be done so that the two of you can live separately. It's time to move on with your individual lives.

[chelseamoon]

Ok so iv posted on her before and given great advice, thank u. Iv done what advised but still feel im the loser. To recap a lil. Live with my ex shes in extension of house. We both have kids from past rels who are close and not in position due to financal etx reasons to move out. She broke up with me over 6mts ago sayin didnt love or fancy me anymore and wanted to be friends even one point sayin met someone else which is BS as always home and even said hated me after she got mad that i wrote to her sayin its hard to bw just friends.

Now last 4 mts she has treated me like absolute dirt. Doesnt talk to me only if wants something or bills. Ignores my text. Keeps her child away from us more. Has no respect. Ignores my kid and only talks him if he goes to her first. But minds for me if i stuck odd time as shes there anyways when kids in bed. I have gave her choc.n card to say thanks just thanks for her help she still didnt open or thank me.i bring her child out with mine places as feel he doesnt deserve be punished, spoil him and not even a ty do i get from my ex. I have done everything to fix it n be civil but she acts d cunt blocking me on everything and trying get rise out me like im dirt n says i smudder her even doh i always listen to her probs when we were friends, always helped her out n spoilt her now im like **** on her shoe.why why won't she just leave then iv said it but shes like i cant afford it.She doesnt care i dont no what to do cus iv no choice but live with her even doh shes out my way alot i feel like shes having the last laugh and want her to feel like crap n show her she screwed up best thing she had who really loved her. Ps im also female!

[d0nnivain]

You haven't done what was advised. We have all repeatedly told you to move yet you still live together. Until you move, you will never heal.

[Miss.A]

You need to move out and find your own place. I don't know why you wouldn't want to. If youre not financially able to, why not move in with family until you get your feet on the ground. They're family, they will understand. Think of your child, and do what is right.