JewelD Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 Kinda hard to emotionally support someone who is ripping parenthood from you. Especially since the OP thought it was a good idea to have a baby in a bf/gf situation where they were together for just some months, this means he was emotionally invested heavily. Probably just as hard if not harder for her as she's the one who had to experience the abortion or pregnancy/birthing process. Pregnant women's emotions are all over the place due to the hormones, she was going through something pretty intense as well. Especially with other kids. If you truly love someone, you wouldn't check out of their lives at a crucial moment like that. If you just kind of like them but aren't that into them as a person, then yeah, it'd probably be very easy to focus on yourself.
minime13 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 Kinda hard to emotionally support someone who is ripping parenthood from you. Especially since the OP thought it was a good idea to have a baby in a bf/gf situation where they were together for just some months, this means he was emotionally invested heavily. And you have presented 1 side of a very 2-sided and sensitive issue, with only one party being literally tied to the outcome. You're right in one of your other posts - this was likely a pragmatic decision for her. 1
Author peteyfeld Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 Wait a minute. Just an hour and a half ago you said she wasn't going to get an abortion after all. I don't know what's going on, but I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you. I should of clarified she did not want an abortion a week ago, but she said she had a miscarriage, but the crappy thing is that I'll never really know. I told her I wanted to be at all doctor appointments and if she was having complications you think that would be a big one to go to? 2
Keenly Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Why don't you talk to the OP? You're not changing my opinion or even understanding what I said clearly. gtfo You won't be around here long with an attitude like that. 1
amaysngrace Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Thank you. I should of clarified she did not want an abortion a week ago, but she said she had a miscarriage, but the crappy thing is that I'll never really know. I told her I wanted to be at all doctor appointments and if she was having complications you think that would be a big one to go to? I bet she wasn't even pregnant and was just testing you. Do you know for a fact that she was definitely pregnant? 1
JewelD Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 You won't be around here long with an attitude like that. Good thing this is not my full time occupation. I'm not for the petty childish arguments over opinions on someone else's life.
Author peteyfeld Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 I bet she wasn't even pregnant and was just testing you. Do you know for a fact that she was definitely pregnant? Yes. 5 pregnancy tests I seen myself. Never in a million years would I thought this would happen. I think her past had a lot to do with it, but it's still no excuse to treat someone like dirt when all I did was try to be there for her. Grieving for the child and trying to move forward. 2
Chi townD Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Geez, stop bashing on the guy. He just lost a kid. Wow, dude finds out his girl is pregnant and he actually WANTED to be a father! Oh sh*t, God forbid. 8
craw Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 You won't be around here long with an attitude like that. and what are you doing on this forum? hmm
minime13 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Thank you. I should of clarified she did not want an abortion a week ago, but she said she had a miscarriage, but the crappy thing is that I'll never really know. I told her I wanted to be at all doctor appointments and if she was having complications you think that would be a big one to go to? You may never know, but you would also be surprised at how often miscarriages occur within the first trimester. So many things can go wrong - that's why couples are typically urged to not announce until after the first trimester has passed. I could see her not calling you for that appointment, honestly, as long as she notified you pretty immediately. Sorry for the loss. 1
GoBlue Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 I am very sorry for your loss. Please reconsider ever reconciling with this woman again. Anyone who has two children, and then would consider an abortion, does not have enough respect for life - in my opinion. What's the message to those two children? I understand how hurt your heart is - I am a man - I have two grown children and a 3 y/o grandson. I cannot fathom losing any of them. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Eighty_nine Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 Geez, stop bashing on the guy. He just lost a kid. Wow, dude finds out his girl is pregnant and he actually WANTED to be a father! Oh sh*t, God forbid. This is why JewelD's commented bothered me. I'm just about as pro-choice as they come. I'm a social worker and work with many single mothers-- so I think it's admirable when a man wants to step up to the plate, wants to be a dad. nothing wrong with that! Nothing wrong with being disappointed and even depressed about your partners abortion. I think people often discount men's feelings and emotional needs- they definitely have them. 4
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