Matt7 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 Ok so I know this may be in the wrong category sorry. Me an my ex broke up about 3 years ago. (she broke up with me due to stupied fights) She wanted to remain friends I wanted her back it was a big messy deal for 8 months. a year after the break up she started seeing this guy for 2 years she broke up with him a few months ago. We had pretty much no contact since she started seeing him. But last week I decided after seeing they where no longer together to message her an see how she's been we caught up a bit an she had told me how she wouldn't mind being friends again. I told her I wasn't sure she said ok that's fine. The topic was changed an we talked about other stuff. Then I had told her about this work trip I'm going on she then asked if I was going with anyone I said no I'm not serious with anyone that I'd invite along. She said no gf. I said no just talking to a few. I said how are you an the bf which she went on to tell me she broke up with him an was seeing someone else. I said ok an that was it 5 days later I messaged her asking if she would like to grab a bite to eat an catch up she said sure and we planned everything. I still have strong feelings for her an would like her back. But I'm not sure if this is going get me friendzoned which I don't really want to be friends.. I'm also not 100% sure how to go about this dinner.
Toodaloo Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 Matt DO NOT DO THIS. It will only end badly. Cancel. Go back to no contact and move on. You are setting yourself up for a whole heap of pain and an empty wallet after paying for supper... 1
Gloria25 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 I mean exes are exes for a reason... If the same issues that were creating problems in the RL are still there, then what's the point. Well, have dinner, check things out...if she seems to show change/potential, then maybe you can give it ago. Having a small meet/dinner to check the climate isn't bad - just don't go there expecting to run off into the sunset. 1
Lokin4AReason Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 heck, make her pay for the dinner j/k I would cancel and wouldn't pay no piece of mind to it
Gloria25 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 And still, even "if" the dinner shows she has changed/potential for the RL to have another chance - you still won't know for sure until you actually start "dating" again. So, take this with a grain of salt.
Author Matt7 Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 Thanks everyone for the replys much apricated! I decided to go through with it. And let me tell you nothing gets your adrenaline and nervous a going like sitting at a table waiting for you ex to show up...my heart was pounding in my throat! Is this coming from the guy who love to rock climb, skydive etc. Anyways I agree gloria25 I went into it expecting nothing more than a meet up. And what did I end up with well honestly I'm not sure haha. Heres how it went down. I was at the top of my game well dressed Broke out the new kicks. Confident and happy. She showed up it was awkward at first. I broke the ice made a few jokes about it being forever. Waiter took our order. Together or separate he asked. she said separate. Being the guy I am I said together. Call me a sucker I guess or a gentalman. I did jokinly say together shes paying. Thanks for that idea lokin4areason. Either way we went on catching up about our lives. She was playing with her ear a lot so I think she was really nerves or something. We basically just scratched the surface like skating on thin ice. She had said something about her ex and then I asked so how are you and that guy your seeing. She was telling me they are good that she want to his family reunion...sounds like there getting serious. Well I paid an she waited an we walked out together a little awkward cause it seemed we didn't know how to act. But we said our good buys she told me she had fun an will have to do it again some time. Oh and I did notice that she was wearing the same perfum that she wore when we dated. She new I really liked that sent on her. This could just be over analyzing things. But either way it was fun an nice to catch up. Talking to her again really did make me realize again how much she means to me. That's about it though I'm still lost in the loop an I have know idea where it's going. An I'm not sure if being friends with her could lead to anythig more or if I'm stuck at this point. Im not really sure if i posted this right being new to posting. But thanks again to everyone who replied and for reading this.
Gloria25 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Well, glad to hear it went well... Hard to say what to do next...I mean, unlike a new connection with someone, I don't see how being "friends" with her would result in you being friendzoned. Cuz, the only way you're gonna see if there's more beneath the surface is by spending time with her... Since you two have a history, why not be frank with her? Like tell her that you 'enjoyed catching up, and would like to spend some time with her on a friendship level cuz you enjoy her company - but don't want to start anything romantically since you haven't been with her for a while...and see how it goes.
aloneinaz Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 I'm a realist. This will not have a happy ending. She didn't contact you. You contacted her twice. Yes, she accepted the dinner invite but it doesn't mean anything. She has another boyfriend now. You really shouldn't contact her again nor want to see her again. Nothings changed about the two of you. What broke once already will break again. You're still stuck on her and will only get hurt. Personally, you should be spending this time, money and energy on someone new that you can connect with for the long haul. Your history with this ex said you two couldn't. 1
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