Mylife Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 So just curious as to how often you talk to your bf/gf? I don't live with my bf, but we text good morning almost daily, text here and there throughout the day, also call each other at work and talk for a bit, and always call each other at night between 10:30-11, talk for about 1-2 hours and go to sleep. Sometimes it does feel a bit routine, do the rest of you have a set talking time so that you can do your thing in the evenings and once you are free you can chat on the phone before you head to bed? Or do you just call as and when you please regardless of what the other is doing? We do text as and when we please during the day, but the calls seem to be a bit more "planned". What do you guys think?
fitnessfan365 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 To be honest, that seems like complete overkill to me. My question is why not spend more time together? I mean if you have two hours a day to talk on the phone, you could easily be having more dates in person. If I'm seeing a woman at least 3x a week in person, I don't need to be spending all that time on the phone. Don't get me wrong. I am cool with a handful of texts, or a 10-15 minute phone call a few times a week to touch base. But honestly, a relationship is based on spending actual time together. Not how much phone time you log. Get off the phone and start planning more dates.
Author Mylife Posted June 17, 2015 Author Posted June 17, 2015 To be honest, that seems like complete overkill to me. My question is why not spend more time together? I mean if you have two hours a day to talk on the phone, you could easily be having more dates in person. If I'm seeing a woman at least 3x a week in person, I don't need to be spending all that time on the phone. Don't get me wrong. I am cool with a handful of texts, or a 10-15 minute phone call a few times a week to touch base. But honestly, a relationship is based on spending actual time together. Not how much phone time you log. Get off the phone and start planning more dates. Oh we meet in person a lot too. We work close to each other so we meet for lunch a few times a week and spend a lot of time with each other over the weekends too. It isn't a time thing. I guess my question is more along the lines of if you have "pre-set talking time" or do you just call when you want? Or do most couples just do the text when you want thing and call when you are able to talk uninterrupted?
fitnessfan365 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 Oh we meet in person a lot too. We work close to each other so we meet for lunch a few times a week and spend a lot of time with each other over the weekends too. It isn't a time thing. I guess my question is more along the lines of if you have "pre-set talking time" or do you just call when you want? Or do most couples just do the text when you want thing and call when you are able to talk uninterrupted? In all the years I've been dating, I've never had assigned talking times. It's pretty much touch base when you feel like it. I find the easiest thing to do if you want to talk on the phone is send a quick text - "When are you free to talk on the phone later?" Then you set up a time and call. I try to keep as much interaction as I can via phone because texting doesn't have a dial tone..LOL It can just keep going on and on and on.
carhill Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 I always called when I wanted and I dated before there were gadgets like answering machines, at least in young lady's homes. My style was more phone time to set up in-person time. I would say it was the beginning of the commercial internet and early cell phones which ramped up electronic communication versus in-person time, so perhaps the last two decades or so. When I dated post-D a few years back, it was pretty much as in the past. I didn't text and would call whenever I wanted. That seemed OK, though of course it was with ladies of my generation. Others would have different experiences.
Author Mylife Posted June 17, 2015 Author Posted June 17, 2015 In all the years I've been dating, I've never had assigned talking times. It's pretty much touch base when you feel like it. I find the easiest thing to do if you want to talk on the phone is send a quick text - "When are you free to talk on the phone later?" Then you set up a time and call. I try to keep as much interaction as I can via phone because texting doesn't have a dial tone..LOL It can just keep going on and on and on. It isn't explicitly an "assigned time" we just know that one of us is going to call at around that time talk for a bit and then call it a night. I don't know how it happened that way, but we have been together for just over a year and it has just been like that since the beginning. My evenings are usually busier, so I guess it just happened that way. Any thoughts on how I can change that now? I am sure he would just find it strange if I called rather than texted now at a random time. Way in the beginning he did bring it up that it is odd he can't just call me when he feels like it, I said you can always text! It works out, but for some reason it is on my mind now, even though he hasn't brought it up and I guess has just accepted that it is what it is.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 (edited) In the end, it all comes down to what works for you and relationship dynamics/preferences. But imagine this. Skip the rushed lunch hours 2x a week. Then instead of talking on the phone those nights, see each other in person instead. It adds to your sex life and you could also plan a date night where you weren't in a rush to get back to work. I mean if a GF of mine said "We'll really only see each other weekends, but we're gonna talk on the phone two hours a night and have a few short public lunch hours" I wouldn't be dating her. It would be one thing if you two were in a long distance relationship and you had to use the phone more to stay connected. But you two are in close proximity to each other. So I can't for the life of me understand why you'd rather talk on the phone for two hours instead of getting together in person for hot sex and fun date nights out. That will be beat out a rushed lunch hour a few times a week any day. Just saying.. Edited June 17, 2015 by fitnessfan365
Author Mylife Posted June 17, 2015 Author Posted June 17, 2015 In the end, it all comes down to what works for you and relationship dynamics/preferences. But imagine this. Skip the rushed lunch hours 2x a week. Then instead of talking on the phone those nights, see each other in person instead. It adds to your sex life and you could also plan a date night where you weren't in a rush to get back to work. I mean if a GF of mine said "We'll really only see each other weekends, but we're gonna talk on the phone two hours a night and have a few short public lunch hours" I wouldn't be dating her. It would be one thing if you two were in a long distance relationship and you had to use the phone more to stay connected. But you two are in close proximity to each other. So I can't for the life of me understand why you'd rather talk on the phone for two hours instead of getting together in person for hot sex and fun date nights out. That will be beat out a rushed lunch hour a few times a week any day. Just saying.. It is funny how all the background info matters so much. We work close by, but live about a 25-30min drive away and both live at home. So getting some would involve getting a hotel room, pricey! We both take the train to work, so one of us would have to go back home and pick up the car and well, go in the back seat in a quiet parking lot! Yes, a lot of excuses. We do meet after work some nights for drinks and stuff too, just not as often. He likes to go home, do his thing too, have a home cooked meal, workout or just chill out in his room. So I guess lunch just kinda works out to be in each other's company. Man, sometimes I feel like I over analyse and just think way to much about everything about my relationship! This stuff is way too new to me, neither of us have ever been in something serious like this. Is it always like when you just keeping thinking?
fitnessfan365 Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 It is funny how all the background info matters so much. We work close by, but live about a 25-30min drive away and both live at home. So getting some would involve getting a hotel room, pricey! We both take the train to work, so one of us would have to go back home and pick up the car and well, go in the back seat in a quiet parking lot! Yes, a lot of excuses. We do meet after work some nights for drinks and stuff too, just not as often. He likes to go home, do his thing too, have a home cooked meal, workout or just chill out in his room. So I guess lunch just kinda works out to be in each other's company. Man, sometimes I feel like I over analyse and just think way to much about everything about my relationship! This stuff is way too new to me, neither of us have ever been in something serious like this. Is it always like when you just keeping thinking? You're 26, he's 30, and you two both still live with your folks? That has to suck! I'm curious though. Since both of you work full time, why aren't you living in apartments? But I agree though that it changes the dynamic. Due to both your ages, I assumed you both had your own places. So that's why it seemed weird you spent so much time talking on the phone every day.
Author Mylife Posted June 17, 2015 Author Posted June 17, 2015 You're 26, he's 30, and you two both still live with your folks? That has to suck! I'm curious though. Since both of you work full time, why aren't you living in apartments? But I agree though that it changes the dynamic. Due to both your ages, I assumed you both had your own places. So that's why it seemed weird you spent so much time talking on the phone every day. I wish we could! I would move in with him in a heartbeat. or even get my own place! But it kinda comes with our backgrounds. You are expected to live at home until you get married, unless your work or school calls for the move. I don't want to fight my parents for it, I love them too much to do so. Maybe I can just slowly break this cycle, somehow. Just slowly randomly call instead of text, but he will be weirded out for sure!
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