Torii Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I understand the whole sacrifice for the person you love, but surely there has to be a fine line that you won't cross.. 30 year old man, still living with his parents. Maxed out credit card and owes a lot of money - supposed 800 minimum payments alone. Friend has been dating this man for quite some time, has complained to me several times regarding his behavior. I feel like she's sacrificing her own life to help this man out, IMO, when he's too stupid to realize his own stupid actions to be able to change. Advice?
Redhead14 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I understand the whole sacrifice for the person you love, but surely there has to be a fine line that you won't cross.. 30 year old man, still living with his parents. Maxed out credit card and owes a lot of money - supposed 800 minimum payments alone. Friend has been dating this man for quite some time, has complained to me several times regarding his behavior. I feel like she's sacrificing her own life to help this man out, IMO, when he's too stupid to realize his own stupid actions to be able to change. Advice? These two are both stupid. They are made for each other . . . You can't fix stupid. If it's going to be fixed, they have to do it themselves. I'd stay out of the middle. People need to learn the hard way sometimes. 2
Author Torii Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 These two are both stupid. They are made for each other . . . You can't fix stupid. If it's going to be fixed, they have to do it themselves. I'd stay out of the middle. People need to learn the hard way sometimes. I understand completely, but want to knock some sense into her head - somehow. She believes love will change him, even had a child with this man with the hope this child will change him for the better to become more mature.. I know she's going to do what she's going to do, but where is her common logic in this decision? Is she blinded by those heart-shaped glasses where everything seems perfect?.. She even confined in me, stating that the relationship isn't how she thought it would turn into after birthing a child.. I don't know how utterly idiotic somebody can be.
toscaroscura Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I understand completely, but want to knock some sense into her head - somehow. She believes love will change him, even had a child with this man with the hope this child will change him for the better to become more mature.. I know she's going to do what she's going to do, but where is her common logic in this decision? Is she blinded by those heart-shaped glasses where everything seems perfect?.. She even confined in me, stating that the relationship isn't how she thought it would turn into after birthing a child.. I don't know how utterly idiotic somebody can be. Unfortunately, just as she can't knock sense into him, neither can you knock sense into her! I'm the type of person from whom people constantly seek advice. When I was younger, I used to get very frustrated that no one ever seemed to actually TAKE my advice, that they asked for! But now I realize they aren't going to take any advice. People do what they do. You can just choose to let your friend vent to you and take it for what it's worth. If you feel like she is starting to become an "emotional vampire" of sorts, there's no reason you can't set a boundary. Like maybe tell her you'll listen about Loser BF for a bit but then you'd like to talk about something happier! 1
candie13 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 yeah, we have a saying where I come from: "el hormono beats el neurono". People do stupid things when inlove. Logic and love have little in common, especially if it's a toxic RS. Stay away. 1
Author Torii Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Unfortunately, just as she can't knock sense into him, neither can you knock sense into her! I'm the type of person from whom people constantly seek advice. When I was younger, I used to get very frustrated that no one ever seemed to actually TAKE my advice, that they asked for! But now I realize they aren't going to take any advice. People do what they do. You can just choose to let your friend vent to you and take it for what it's worth. If you feel like she is starting to become an "emotional vampire" of sorts, there's no reason you can't set a boundary. Like maybe tell her you'll listen about Loser BF for a bit but then you'd like to talk about something happier! Understandable. Maybe I'm just sick of giving her all my opinions and advice on decisions she won't change anything about.. Not much I can do, I suppose. Maybe, just maybe, I'm being a bit too judgemental about it all. She's deciding what she thinks is best for her, and even though we both know she is capable of better decisions, she continues to be naive and an utter hopeless romantic living in fantasy. 1
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