katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Yes, sometimes they do pull back a little because they are overwhelmed after the event. If Gaeta is kinda asking this question too soon, she's maybe not "allowing" for that. She just needs to wait a little bit to see if he follows through. Exactly....overwhelmed with emotion.....which is what I experience with my bf. Not always though which is telling. It seems to happen after a particularly intense night (or day) of "lovemaking," as opposed to the raw raunchy type sex we sometimes/often have too! 1
Emilia Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I don't know about vulnerable. Their prolactin level can go right up, that's one reason I don't engage much. I let them do their thing and reconnect later. 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 He said you could call at anytime. Do yo? No I don't. After sex is also a vulnerable time for women. We don't want to be chasing that man down for attention. 2
Keenly Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 No I don't. After sex is also a vulnerable time for women. We don't want to be chasing that man down for attention. So you'll complain that he doesnt contact you, but you'll make no effort to contact.him. Where I'm standing, he might not follow through, but it seems you are playing games.
Redhead14 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Just confirming with you all I should not believe any of it as I suspected. My philosophy is to not believe anything before I am offered exclusivity but I was curious about that very specific moment after sex when I heard so many times that it's a vulnerable moment for men. It is perhaps a little bit of a vulnerable moment for them. But, their reasoning ability isn't affected. Some women will try to use that "moment' and ask a man for something, let's say exclusivity. And, if they agree to it, the woman thinks "hey, I'll do this every time I want him to do something". They think the man agreed just because of the "high". If they agreed to it, they would have done that regardless. The high doesn't make them change how they would have responded.
Emilia Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 No I don't. After sex is also a vulnerable time for women. We don't want to be chasing that man down for attention. Do you think you pull back too much after sex and they interpret it as lack of interest?
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 So you'll complain that he doesnt contact you, but you'll make no effort to contact.him. Where I'm standing, he might not follow through, but it seems you are playing games. How am I playing games? It's a Universal rule that men contact women after sex, right? If he does I am happy and responsive and I indicate my next free time. If he doesn't concrete plan to see me again from there than what else am I suppose to do? He's not delivering. No?
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Do you think you pull back too much after sex and they interpret it as lack of interest? Well, Adonis told me a few times I don't contact him often enough and after sex he made a comment : so if I don't say hello to you you don't talk to me! but everyone on here told me he's playing games and it's controlling.
Emilia Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 How am I playing games? It's a Universal rule that men contact women after sex, right? If he does I am happy and responsive and I indicate my next free time. If he doesn't concrete plan to see me again from there than what else am I suppose to do? He's not delivering. No? No it's not a universal rule. It depends on how you left things.
Keenly Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 How am I playing games? It's a Universal rule that men contact women after sex, right? If he does I am happy and responsive and I indicate my next free time. If he doesn't concrete plan to see me again from there than what else am I suppose to do? He's not delivering. No? What rule is this? Why isn't it if you want to see some one, you contact them? You are playing games by not contacting him. When you want something, but fail to communicate, in this case intentionally, you shouldn't be surprised when your desires aren't met. You didn't say that you desired It. As for.him, I have no idea. Maybe he just forgets easily. Maybe he is waiting for some SOME kind of outreach from you. If a woman never initiates contact it's very easy to assume she as no interest since she is showing no effort to see you again. Basically, if you want something, or to see him, ask for it. Quit playing the waiting game and expecting him to come around. Make your own life happen. 1
Emilia Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Well, Adonis told me a few times I don't contact him often enough and after sex he made a comment : so if I don't say hello to you you don't talk to me! but everyone on here told me he's playing games and it's controlling. But people only know the bits you share, they don't see the big picture. 1
Arieswoman Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 In my limited experience the relationship was already established before the sex took place, with another date already planned...... However, I wonder how you guys can all have intelligent conversations after first-time sex, 'cos in my experience both of us have been too completely kn@ck*r*d to do anything but fall asleep !??
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Well, Adonis told me a few times I don't contact him often enough and after sex he made a comment : so if I don't say hello to you you don't talk to me! but everyone on here told me he's playing games and it's controlling. Gaeta, have you forgotten that YOU texted him the day prior letting him know your schedule and asking if he was free? Which he completeky ignored????!!!! How is this you pulling back too much? The guy is messing with you...clearly.
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 But people only know the bits you share, they don't see the big picture. Some of us who have read all her posts/threads know more than "bits.".
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 In my limited experience the relationship was already established before the sex took place, with another date already planned...... However, I wonder how you guys can all have intelligent conversations after first-time sex, 'cos in my experience both of us have been too completely kn@ck*r*d to do anything but fall asleep !?? That's the beauty of younger men. After a few rounds of sex he got up and went sanding wood floors. 1
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 What rule is this? **Why isn't it if you want to see some one, you contact them? ** You are playing games by not contacting him. When you want something, but fail to communicate, in this case intentionally, you shouldn't be surprised when your desires aren't met. You didn't say that you desired It. As for.him, I have no idea. Maybe he just forgets easily. Maybe he is waiting for some SOME kind of outreach from you. If a woman never initiates contact it's very easy to assume she as no interest since she is showing no effort to see you again. Basically, if you want something, or to see him, ask for it. Quit playing the waiting game and expecting him to come around. Make your own life happen. Keenly, she DID contact him...and asked him if he was free later in the day to get together. He ignored it....
Emilia Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Some of us who have read all her posts/threads know more than "bits.". What people share is always bits. Everyone is selective and subjective. You can't claim to understand the complete picture and it's much better to ask alternative approaches than declare that you fully know the issue. You don't. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Flip the POV. You have first time sex with a new guy and it's awful. Are you going to be honest and let him know that he's terrible? Or will you lie to spare his feelings/ego and then simply never see him again? Guys do the same thing. Are there guys who are commitment phobic, or that get off on as much variety as possible? Sure. But the average guy will want to keep coming back for more if he genuinely likes the sex. So if it keeps happening to a woman repeatedly after first time sex with a guy, maybe the most obvious answer is that she just isn't that good in bed. 1
Arieswoman Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Gaeta, That's the beauty of younger men. After a few rounds of sex he got up and went sanding wood floors.
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Gaeta, have you forgotten that YOU texted him the day prior letting him know your schedule and asking if he was free? Which he completeky ignored????!!!! How is this you pulling back too much? The guy is messing with you...clearly. He initiated that conversation and at some point I offered my next free time. I did not reach out to him.
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Flip the POV. You have first time sex with a new guy and it's awful. Are you going to be honest and let him know that he's terrible? Or will you lie to spare his feelings/ego and then simply never see him again? Guys do the same thing. Are there guys who are commitment phobic, or that get off on as much variety as possible? Sure. But the average guy will want to keep coming back for more if he genuinely likes the sex. So if it keeps happening to a woman repeatedly after first time sex with a guy, maybe the most obvious answer is that she just isn't that good in bed. haha ok, but there is no need for them to offer me jewelry after. They can just get up and leave.
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 (edited) He initiated that conversation and at some point I offered my next free time. I did not reach out to him. What difference does it make who made contact first? His contact was sending a bunch of kisses...YOUR contact back was to reach out and let him know your free time so as to actually get together with him again. HIS contact back the following day was to not even make reference to your suggestion to get together again..but to manipulate you into feeling guilty for ignoring him...which you were NOT even doing! Gaeta what are you doing? Feeling guilty for dumping this DB who has been messing with you from the get go? Rationalizing why you should start chasing him? If he were interested in seeing you again, he would be asking you out again, not sending kisses and ignoring your suggestion to get together again. And then making you feel guilty for not chasing him! That is crazy thinking! Please. Edited June 16, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 What difference does it make who made contact first? His contact was sending a bunch of kisses...YOUR contact back was to reach out and let him know your free time so as to actually get together with him again. HIS contact back the following day was to not even make reference to your suggestion to get together again..but to manipulate you into feeling guilty for ignoring him...which you were NOT even doing! Gaeta what are you doing? Feeling guilty for dumping this DB who has been messing with you from the get go? Rationalizing why you should start chasing him? If he were interested in seeing you again, he would be asking you out again, not sending kisses and ignoring your suggestion to get together again. And then making you feel guilty for not chasing him! That is crazy thinking! Please. This guy is just a detail in the big picture. He's not important. I mention him because he followed the same pattern as some others. I am just trying to figure out after sex bliss.
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 This guy is just a detail in the big picture. He's not important. I mention him because he followed the same pattern as some others. I am just trying to figure out after sex bliss. Okay phew.. NOW I can can get back to work without worrying..... Love ya girl! 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Are there guys who are commitment phobic, or that get off on as much variety as possible? Sure. But the average guy will want to keep coming back for more if he genuinely likes the sex. So if it keeps happening to a woman repeatedly after first time sex with a guy, maybe the most obvious answer is that she just isn't that good in bed. You freaked me out so bad I just texted 2 ex-lovers and asked them and told them to not spare my feelings I need the truth. They both said I was excellent and told me why.
Recommended Posts