Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I heard that a man is at his most vulnerable right after sex so if he says something chances are he's being truthful. I have been experiencing something different. Right after sex I will get a lot of praises on the experience, on my body, than he'll talk about when we can see each other again, often he'll explain his schedule, he'll indicate I can call any time, he'll mention things he'd like we do together, etc. Then once he's out the door, POOF! none of that materialize. Is there some type of temporary trance a man goes through after sex that disables him from speaking rationally?
Emilia Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 How do those conversations come about? My experience is different in that talking isn't on the table much. Usually have breakfast and coffee somewhere then he goes his way and we chat the following day. Maybe expectations get cranked up too much straight after?
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 They usually initiate this conversation after sex when we're still in bed. I say thank you when I get a compliment and I return the compliment. If they make plans I reply yes that would be fun I'd like that.
losangelena Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Sounds like future faking to me. Which men are capable of at anytime, it seems. I'd bet he didn't want to feel like a jerk if all he wanted to do is sleep with you, so he ratcheted up the feel good in the moment. Or maybe he just changed his mind. Is this the guy you slept with last week? I thought you said he wasn't a serious relationship prospect.
Emilia Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Are you quiet and they feel they have to say something? I usually just initiate the idea of getting some food. My mind isn't clear enough to talk about anything of substance.
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 It's about last week guy + jewelry guy and previous to them it happened before too. It has nothing to do with expecting a relationship or not. I am just curious about men's mind after sex in the context I've explained.
jen1447 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Don't take this the wrong way Gaeta but you must be really good in bed. I've found that after mind-blowing sex, guys will promise you the world like you say, but eventually the high does wear off and they're liable to just go back to being regular guys (which is often unreliable, etc.). But if they just have their normal "ug!" moment during normal guy sex, which I think is much more common, they just roll over and go to sleep like they're biologically prone to do. So ....you bring out the ebullient side obvs. Well done sister, well done. 3
elaine567 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I doubt it has much to do with the sex. Liars lie. 2
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Are you quiet and they feel they have to say something? I usually just initiate the idea of getting some food. My mind isn't clear enough to talk about anything of substance. Not at all, I'm a good conversationalist and I will get conversation going on casual things.
Redhead14 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I heard that a man is at his most vulnerable right after sex so if he says something chances are he's being truthful. I have been experiencing something different. Right after sex I will get a lot of praises on the experience, on my body, than he'll talk about when we can see each other again, often he'll explain his schedule, he'll indicate I can call any time, he'll mention things he'd like we do together, etc. Then once he's out the door, POOF! none of that materialize. Is there some type of temporary trance a man goes through after sex that disables him from speaking rationally? They are not "disabled" from speaking rationally. If, however, they are "into" you and at least becoming serious about you, they won't "poof" in any way. Men do experience an oxytocin high after orgasm and so do women. Men will often be a little softer emotionally at that point and, if they are into you, they will cuddle you be more affectionate, etc. But it doesn't make them lie or say things they wouldn't normally say if they were really into you. If he says things at that time and it doesn't happen, it doesn't mean he wasn't being rational at the time, it just means he didn't really mean it and probably using you for sex. he'll indicate I can call any time, he'll mention things he'd like we do together, -- Sure you can call any time as long as it's when you want sex and he'll mention things he wants to do together as long as after those things, you have sex. Until he demonstrates that he's being serious with you, you can assume that's what he means. He's not being irrational. 1
Sunlight72 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Well sure there's a trance after good sex. It's beautiful! The woman you just shared this amazing experience with is the only woman in the world. Everything you just did together is the best thing that's ever happened or ever will happen. It's great to soak it up and let the stars shine in your eyes. To savor it more, it's nice to dream about a world where only this man and this woman are important, loving each other, doing fun things together. It's a sweet dream, isn't it? Then he leaves, has to return two phone calls from work, drive his car in busy traffic, buy groceries, feed the cat, walk the dog, pick up the squishy dog poop while a grumpy old guy is staring at him, etc. etc. The magic can fade.
Redhead14 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 It's probably just the oxytocin talking. Oxytocin doesn't make a man irrational . . . it just makes them a little more emotional and affectionate. It doesn't make them stupid unless they were to start with 1
Emilia Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Then I don't know. it's usually my place and I try to look after them, etc. i suppose that's distracting enough not to talk properly. I'd rather have any sort of conversation after a little while, though some men initiate it early - but not after sex. It's sleeping or food.
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 he'll indicate I can call any time, he'll mention things he'd like we do together, -- Sure you can call any time as long as it's when you want sex and he'll mention things he wants to do together as long as after those things, you have sex. Until he demonstrates that he's being serious with you, you can assume that's what he means. He's not being irrational. I know about that part. I am interested in the part right after sex when he makes all kinds of promises he won't keep. At the time he makes them does he believes himself or he's conscious he is being deceiving.
Sunlight72 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Oxytocin doesn't make a man irrational . . . it just makes them a little more emotional and affectionate. It doesn't make them stupid unless they were to start with "Stupid" is one word, "romantic" is another. I'm just one guy, but in honey-covered experiences (first day meeting someone dreamy, first times holding hands, first times kissing, dancing, hugging, etc.) I have a hard time not voicing a whole romantic picture.
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I heard that a man is at his most vulnerable right after sex so if he says something chances are he's being truthful. I have been experiencing something different. Right after sex I will get a lot of praises on the experience, on my body, than he'll talk about when we can see each other again, often he'll explain his schedule, he'll indicate I can call any time, he'll mention things he'd like we do together, etc. Then once he's out the door, POOF! none of that materialize. Is there some type of temporary trance a man goes through after sex that disables him from speaking rationally? Gaeta, this is just a guess since I am not a guy, but in my experience, after sex, yes the guy feels vulnerable and as a result, he may pull back a bit. Just a bit, and if leave him alone, he quickly springs back his usual caring self. I STILL experience that sometimes with my bf even though we live together. After an .exceptionally intense night of sexual passion, he needs lone time...no reflection on me, so I allow him that time and do my own thing. That does not seem to be the case with your guys, which might indicate they don't feel vulnerable ....and may either be bs'ing you or they are on some sort of an adrenaline high, and after they leave and "come down," for whatever reason decide they don't wish to pursue it. Again, I am not a guy, so it's just a guess.... 2
Sunlight72 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I know about that part. I am interested in the part right after sex when he makes all kinds of promises he won't keep. At the time he makes them does he believes himself or he's conscious he is being deceiving. I can only speak for me, and I don't have sex with someone until I've started a relationship with them, and I'm already planning on seeing them again whether we have sex or not. BUT - if it were me, I believe it at the time, yes. I'm trying to express just how wonderful I feel with this woman. 1
Sunlight72 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Also - in my experience "vulnerable" is the wrong word. "Enchanted" is what I experience. 1
Redhead14 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I know about that part. I am interested in the part right after sex when he makes all kinds of promises he won't keep. At the time he makes them does he believes himself or he's conscious he is being deceiving. They know exactly what they are saying and why. That "high" doesn't make them "blind" to their motives. If they were serious when they said those things, they will happen. If they weren't serious, they won't happen. He's not saying all this because he's so engrossed in the high as to not know what he's saying, doing, plans to do or wants to do. He's not hypnotized. That would kinda be like someone getting drunk, doing something they regret or maybe actually wanted but doesn't want to own up to and then blaming it on the alcohol.
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 They know exactly what they are saying and why. That "high" doesn't make them "blind" to their motives. If they were serious when they said those things, they will happen. If they weren't serious, they won't happen. He's not saying all this because he's so engrossed in the high as to not know what he's saying, doing, plans to do or wants to do. He's not hypnotized. That would kinda be like someone getting drunk, doing something they regret or maybe actually wanted but doesn't want to own up to and then blaming it on the alcohol. Lol at hypnotized... No *that* is how he feels BEFORE the sex! :bunny: 2
losangelena Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I know about that part. I am interested in the part right after sex when he makes all kinds of promises he won't keep. At the time he makes them does he believes himself or he's conscious he is being deceiving. Does the "why" matter so much? The end result is the same—they disappear. I've found, in general, that men who come on strong with the initial compliments don't pan out. 2
Redhead14 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Gaeta, this is just a guess since I am not a guy, but in my experience, after sex, yes the guy feels vulnerable and as a result, he may pull back a bit. Just a bit, and if leave him alone, he quickly springs back his usual caring self. I STILL experience that sometimes with my bf even though we live together. After an .exceptionally intense night of sexual passion, he needs lone time...no reflection on me, so I allow him that time and do my own thing. That does not seem to be the case with your guys, which might indicate they don't feel vulnerable ....and may either be bs'ing you or they are on some sort of an adrenaline high, and after they leave and "come down," for whatever reason decide they don't wish to pursue it. Again, I am not a guy, so it's just a guess.... Yes, sometimes they do pull back a little because they are overwhelmed after the event. If Gaeta is kinda asking this question too soon, she's maybe not "allowing" for that. She just needs to wait a little bit to see if he follows through. 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Does the "why" matter so much? The end result is the same—they disappear. I've found, in general, that men who come on strong with the initial compliments don't pan out. Just confirming with you all I should not believe any of it as I suspected. My philosophy is to not believe anything before I am offered exclusivity but I was curious about that very specific moment after sex when I heard so many times that it's a vulnerable moment for men.
Recommended Posts