Broom Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Any stories or experiences? How did you deal with it?
Gaeta Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I had 3 dates with this gentleman and each time I denied sex so after our 3rd date he stopped contacting me and put me on ignore. I moved on. What else is there to do? 1
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Any stories or experiences? How did you deal with it? Never experienced it...but if I ever do, I would either ignore him back, or just dump him. It's a manipulation tactic in an attempt to scare you into thinking if you don't have sex with him, you will lose him. Don't fall for it. If he wants to play that game, so can you. Stay strong and stick to your guns. If he disappears because of it, good riddance. 2
jen1447 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Who exactly is denying sex and who's giving the silent treatment?
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 (edited) Who exactly is denying sex and who's giving the silent treatment? Jen the title says guys ignoring/silent treatment after being denied sex....so my guess would be the girl (the OP?) is denying sex (not ready?) and her guy is ignoring her or giving her the silent treatment because of it. Just a guess... Edited June 16, 2015 by katiegrl 1
empresario Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Jen the title says guys ignoring/silent treatment after being denied sex....so my guess would be the girl (the OP?) is denying sex (not ready?) and her guy is ignoring her or giving her the silent treatment because of it. Just a guess... Hmm I think we need more context from the OP. I read it as "if I'm not in the mood my boyfriend pouts". Not necessarily the first time.
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Hmm I think we need more context from the OP. I read it as "if I'm not in the mood my boyfriend pouts". Not necessarily the first time. Well like I said it was just a guess...so you could be right too! I agree we need more context....
martaldn Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 i only experienced the other way around they normally disappear after sex
jen1447 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Well like I said it was just a guess...so you could be right too! I agree we need more context.... Hahaha - I read it at first as the guy was ignoring and giving the silent treatment after denying the OP sex, which seemed especially cruel.
fred123 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I had 3 dates with this gentleman and each time I denied sex so after our 3rd date he stopped contacting me and put me on ignore. I moved on. What else is there to do? As a guy id do the same. Esp when i know gaeta would jump into a bed with a guy who treats her like crap and without respect so quickly. You know nice guys/gentleman want to get laid too. Sex is important cos it shows us you actually like us
deathandtaxes Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Withholding of sex in a relationship is a power play. Almost always due to deeper issues.
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Hahaha - I read it at first as the guy was ignoring and giving the silent treatment after denying the OP sex, which seemed especially cruel. You could be right too! Except I would think if that *were* the case, the title would be "guys ignoring/silent treatment after denying sex." Not "after *being* denied sex." But who knows? OP, can you clarify?
katiegrl Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Withholding of sex in a relationship is a power play. Almost always due to deeper issues. Lol, okay so now the girl is intentionally withholding sex..... OP, again, can you please clarify with more context so we're all not playing guessing games? 1
fitnessfan365 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I say they're actually doing you a favor. It's better to find out sooner rather than later, that the endgame is sex. The best thing to do is just ignore them right back and date someone else. It's funny though. I flirt, act playful, and create a lot of sexual tension. But I'm also very old fashioned and don't like to have sex right away. So it's usually women that get sexually frustrated with me. However, if you have the patience to create that tension and anticipation, having a woman always pushing for sex is the best place to be. 1
Vintage79 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Never experienced it...but if I ever do, I would either ignore him back, or just dump him. It's a manipulation tactic in an attempt to scare you into thinking if you don't have sex with him, you will lose him. Don't fall for it. If he wants to play that game, so can you. Stay strong and stick to your guns. If he disappears because of it, good riddance. I'm not sure it's necessarily a manipulation tactic - if the person I was dating kept rejecting me, I go silent, just because it's effectively over. In the break-up/getting over section, they constantly preach no contact - that's the silent treatment. Some people use it for manipulation purposes (i.e. to try to get the other person back), but the main use is to just help yourself get over the other person and move on. Another reason is to let the waters calm a bit, if there was some tension. Regardless, if you're getting your guy to constantly go into no silent mode because you're constantly rejecting him, there's absolutely a chance that he's looking into greener pastures as opposed to dry, scorched earth.
jen1447 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 You could be right too! Except I would think if that *were* the case, the title would be "guys ignoring/silent treatment after denying sex." Not "after *being* denied sex." But who knows? OP, can you clarify? Just think if we removed the slash (/) - it would be the guy ignoring the silent treatment ....! Even more complex.
missk803 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I met a gentleman once who pretty much "tested" me out on our first date. He tried to kiss me after our date and kept offering a ride home if I couldn't drive (we had drinks) but I wouldn't do either. The next date, he was a little more obvious and after I turned him down, we had an entire conversation about why I wasn't having sex with him yet. So after that second date, I noticed he wasn't as eager to communicate anymore and whenever I would text, it'd be one or two word answers. Finally, after a few days no communication, I decided to contact him (I pretty much already knew what was up, I just wanted to see what he would say about it) and I commented on the lack of communication between us. He made an excuse saying he was "busy with work" and I pretty much said I knew it was because of me not putting out. He claimed that wasn't it but he did state that he wasn't looking for a relationship and maybe we could just be friends. I just simply said Ok and never texted or called him again, he never contacted me again either. That was the end of that. I did happen to see him out while out on a date with someone else and he decided to be a real jerk but that's the last time I saw him.
Arieswoman Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Fred123, You know nice guys/gentleman want to get laid too. Yeees, we know that. Sex is important cos it shows us you actually like us That's pants. I can show a man I like him by taking his dog for a walk, cooking him a meal, recording a film for him etc etc. I don't have to get into the rumpy-pumpy, especially if I hardly know him... D & T, Withholding of sex in a relationship is a power play. Almost always due to deeper issues. Really? How about one party just doesn't feel like it? We're human beings not performing seals. 2
deathandtaxes Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 D & T, Really? How about one party just doesn't feel like it? We're human beings not performing seals. That's different. In a committed and sexual relationship, sure there are going to be times where BOTH are just not up for it. But people can and do use sex as a weapon. It can be used as a proxy for power in a relationship. At that point, no bueno.
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