enchanted771 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Talked to this guy I met online last weekend for an hour and texted pretty consistently that day. He expressed wanting to get to know me. Fine. After that his texts have been pretty sporadic. Hi, good morning etc. We will exchange 2-3 texts and that's it. I don't know what the point of this is. He didn't seem shy at all when I talked to him on the phone. But now it's like wth?? I don't know if I should let this fish swim away or the next time he texts me throw in " give me a call sometime"! When I start talking to a guy he is usually very enthusiastic but this guy is very mysterious.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 The fact that he said he wants to "get to know you" and not "meet you" should give you pause. Usually guys like these like to beat around the bush. Send him this text - "I'm free to meet up (insert two nights). Call me" This will still allow him to lead by calling and making plans with you. But you're also communicating that you don't want to wait around or text forever. If he never responds, you know he was never serious anyways. If he responds with some unrelated text, don't respond. Force him to take action.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 The fact that he said he wants to "get to know you" and not "meet you" should give you pause. Usually guys like these like to beat around the bush. Send him this text - "I'm free to meet up (insert two nights). Call me" This will still allow him to lead by calling and making plans with you. But you're also communicating that you don't want to wait around or text forever. If he never responds, you know he was never serious anyways. If he responds with some unrelated text, don't respond. Force him to take action. thanks! He did mention us meeting up when we spoke on the phone and I responded "sure" but then that was it. I'll do what you wrote next time he texts.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 The fact that he said he wants to "get to know you" and not "meet you" should give you pause. Usually guys like these like to beat around the bush. Send him this text - "I'm free to meet up (insert two nights). Call me" This will still allow him to lead by calling and making plans with you. But you're also communicating that you don't want to wait around or text forever. If he never responds, you know he was never serious anyways. If he responds with some unrelated text, don't respond. Force him to take action. OR should I not wait for him to text me, and just send him that text?
fitnessfan365 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 It's weird that he brought up getting together and then didnt make plans with you. But realistically, he's had multiple changes to make plans now and he didn't. So my advice is send that text and force him to take action. Better to find out sooner rather than later that the guy is wasting your time.
Gary S Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 If they aren't man enough to come up with a date plan on the first call, just say "next", and talk to the next guy. The first phone call is about setting the date, and it's their job to do that, men are the primary pursuers. Don't let them catfish you and waste your time.... smart dating is about efficiency. 1
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 It's weird that he brought up getting together and then didnt make plans with you. But realistically, he's had multiple changes to make plans now and he didn't. So my advice is send that text and force him to take action. Better to find out sooner rather than later that the guy is wasting your time. your right. I'm going to shoot off the text & get it over with. Any texts he sends me that are small talk will be ignored.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 your right. I'm going to shoot off the text & get it over with. Any texts he sends me that are small talk will be ignored. It's funny. Recently I got numbers from two different women that both said how sexy my confidence was and they liked that I cut to the chase. Both complain that all guys online do is text non stop and never make plans. The first date wound up being a bust. However, I got the second woman's number yesterday and already have a date with her tonight. We have a lot of initial chemistry going in so I'm looking forward to seeing her. She actually admitted to having five other guys in her orbit from online. But the kicker is that all five have spent the better part of two weeks texting her non stop and never making plans. Their loss is my gain.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 It's funny. Recently I got numbers from two different women that both said how sexy my confidence was and they liked that I cut to the chase. Both complain that all guys online do is text non stop and never make plans. The first date wound up being a bust. However, I got the second woman's number yesterday and already have a date with her tonight. We have a lot of initial chemistry going in so I'm looking forward to seeing her. She actually admitted to having five other guys in her orbit from online. But the kicker is that all five have spent the better part of two weeks texting her non stop and never making plans. Their loss is my gain. exactly. I don't want a text buddy. I understand when your working, but at night after you wind down you can make a 5 min call.
newmoon Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 you're probably just one of many, and perhaps another one was more interesting... just sayin'... it's online, the dude could be up to anything on his end.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 exactly. I don't want a text buddy. I understand when your working, but at night after you wind down you can make a 5 min call. Another Question: what if he replies to my "call me" with a text instead of calling??
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 you're probably just one of many, and perhaps another one was more interesting... just sayin'... it's online, the dude could be up to anything on his end. yes and I also have another offer or two on the table. If he isn't going to meet up I'll move on.
joseb Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 . She actually admitted to having five other guys in her orbit from online. But the kicker is that all five have spent the better part of two weeks texting her non stop and never making plans. Their loss is my gain. Seriously? Why on earth would they do that?
joseb Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 If they aren't man enough to come up with a date plan on the first call, just say "next", and talk to the next guy. The first phone call is about setting the date, and it's their job to do that, men are the primary pursuers. Don't let them catfish you and waste your time.... smart dating is about efficiency. While I agree that really it should be down to the guy to escalate and come up with the date, it is 2015 and women are allowed (last time I checked!) to do it too, so if you really liked him and want to see him then ask him out. If you are unsure, then I would just drop him. Efficiency and all 1
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Seriously? Why on earth would they do that? Because to some men it's an ego boost. Their phone going off every 10 min.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 While I agree that really it should be down to the guy to escalate and come up with the date, it is 2015 and women are allowed (last time I checked!) to do it too, so if you really liked him and want to see him then ask him out. If you are unsure, then I would just drop him. Efficiency and all I shot off the text and gave him 2 days I'm free.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Another Question: what if he replies to my "call me" with a text instead of calling?? In your text, you said to call you. So if he doesn't I just wouldn't respond. I think he's shown already that he's not serious about meeting. Plus, you've got a few other guys you're talking to. See if one of them ask you out instead.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 One of the other guys I just started talking to yesterday said to me that if I want to meet up on the weekend to let him know. I'm going to make plans for Sunday and just move on. Obviously this guy has met someone else but keeping me around in case it doesn't work out. I think not.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 One of the other guys I just started talking to yesterday said to me that if I want to meet up on the weekend to let him know. I'm going to make plans for Sunday and just move on. Obviously this guy has met someone else but keeping me around in case it doesn't work out. I think not. At least the new guy brought up meeting. However, as a guy it still makes me cringe watching other guys be indecisive. This "let me know" crap is weak. A guy should just cut to the chase and say "I'd like to get together. When are you free this next week?" Then you set plans and make it happen. The only time I'll ever leave the ball in a woman's court and tell her to get back to me, is if she doesn't commit to plans on my first offer. If she gives any version of "maybe", I say 'No worries. Drop me a line once you've got a better handle on your schedule and I'll make plans with you then." However, being the realist that I am, I never expect to hear back and don't most of the time in those cases. Women that want to go out with you, accept your first offer or at the very least offer an alternative. Dating is just like sales where any half hearted response is a polite no 99% of the time. But leaving the ball in her court at least shows that you know the score and won't continue to chase after a woman that isn't interested like a chump. LOL
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 At least the new guy brought up meeting. However, as a guy it still makes me cringe watching other guys be indecisive. This "let me know" crap is weak. A guy should just cut to the chase and say "I'd like to get together. When are you free this next week?" Then you set plans and make it happen. The only time I'll ever leave the ball in a woman's court and tell her to get back to me, is if she doesn't commit to plans on my first offer. If she gives any version of "maybe", I say 'No worries. Drop me a line once you've got a better handle on your schedule and I'll make plans with you then." However, being the realist that I am, I never expect to hear back and don't most of the time in those cases. Women that want to go out with you, accept your first offer or at the very least offer an alternative. Dating is just like sales where any half hearted response is a polite no 99% of the time. But leaving the ball in her court at least shows that you know the score and won't continue to chase after a woman that isn't interested like a chump. LOL yes he brought it up again this morning so I'll meet up with him this weekend. I like to do it sooner because if there's no connection then you move on without wasting much time. As for the other guy, as I suspected I didn't hear anything so he saved me the trouble.
Redhead14 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Talked to this guy I met online last weekend for an hour and texted pretty consistently that day. He expressed wanting to get to know me. Fine. After that his texts have been pretty sporadic. Hi, good morning etc. We will exchange 2-3 texts and that's it. I don't know what the point of this is. He didn't seem shy at all when I talked to him on the phone. But now it's like wth?? I don't know if I should let this fish swim away or the next time he texts me throw in " give me a call sometime"! When I start talking to a guy he is usually very enthusiastic but this guy is very mysterious. He may simply not be that "into" texting. If he texts you again, call him and simply say I'd like it if we spoke on the phone more. Texting is so dry to me He's initiated a text at least first, there wouldn't be anything wrong with calling him then. If he keeps texting like he's been doing after you've given him a heads up, I'd move on.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 He may simply not be that "into" texting. If he texts you again, call him and simply say I'd like it if we spoke on the phone more. Texting is so dry to me He's initiated a text at least first, there wouldn't be anything wrong with calling him then. If he keeps texting like he's been doing after you've given him a heads up, I'd move on. he did call and we were on the phone 40 min. I don't know if it's a waste to keep getting to know him or not. He didn't bring up getting together and I already brought it up so I'm not saying anything again. He is a man after all. His mentality just different. I live in a big metro area and he's an hour outside the city, originally from the south and and ex pro athlete not that that has anything to do with it but I'm sitting here wondering why is he so mysterious. In any case, I'm continuing on my dates. If he wants to meet he will say something if not then he's going to lose out because I don't wait around for anyone.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 He may simply not be that "into" texting. If he texts you again, call him and simply say I'd like it if we spoke on the phone more. Texting is so dry to me He's initiated a text at least first, there wouldn't be anything wrong with calling him then. If he keeps texting like he's been doing after you've given him a heads up, I'd move on. I think your probably right about the texting.
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