single_beauty95 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I'm a female of 20 yrs. Always have been masturbating (quite early - around 10+). However, I've never gotten wet. Not until I come, anyway. When masturbating I do it in a specific way and position. I look at or read some porn. I have had a total of 3 sexual partners now, but none of them can bring me to orgasm. Even if I do it myself in front of them or guide them. My mind just can't seem to get there! It is fustrating now because I finally have someone special who'd I'd really like to share this with yet... I just can't. Vibrators will not work - don't like it. We use lube, so that is covered. He is AMAzing at foreplay... I feel so comfortable, satisfied and loved by him! And now he is leaving in a month (long distance - long story) and we will break up and I will have to say goodbye to us without ever having fully given him everything I could have in our special relationship. So 1) Is there a problem if a 20 yr old female has never been able to produce enough natural lubrication prior to sex? 2) How do we overcome my problem of not being able to orgasm around men?
smackie9 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 There are a lot of women that can't orgasm from penetration. You should know your body quite well by now to guide them where your G spot is. Just look it up on the net and explore. I have to say most men don't have the skill and figure just sticking it in is all the have to do and the rest is up to us.... men should educate themselves or at least be told where and how to stimulate that area from their partner....there are about 4 locations inside where the these spots are. You have some reading to do. There are plenty of sites where you can get your info from.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I used to have a really hard time (sometimes I still do, but not as often) coming to orgasm with a partner, whereas by myself it was REALLY easy. I think having the other person there, and then the thought that you have a hard time coming to orgasm, it can compound in your head and it becomes a vicious cycle. I'm pretty sure when people have no problem getting it up/getting off by themselves, it's purely a mental thing during sex.
jen1447 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Take the focus off your orgasm hon and just enjoy the sex. May sound like an oversimplification but sexy really is pretty simple. Being goal-oriented like that makes it less fun. Don't worry about the lubrication btw.
toscaroscura Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 When I was 20 I had never O'ed in front of anyone. And that trend would continue until I did some serious exploring in my mid-20s. The problem was, much like you, I had gotten accustomed to masturbating in a very specific way that was good for furtive childhood shenanigans, but translated horribly to partner sex. I had to retrain myself, and it wasn't easy. Change position, method, pretty much everything. Once I could actually orgasm a more normal way, it STILL took a long time for that mental block of trust to be conquered. Letting a man see me orgasm is probably the most vulnerable thing I can think of. You probably aren't getting very wet because you bring yourself to climax too quickly. The same happens to me. Slow down and try teasing yourself more. Bring yourself to the edge then back off. Do that as many times as you can stand. 1
Torii Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Honestly, it's perfectly normal to not be able to orgasm in front of a partner. Sometimes, it's takes a certain level of connection - emotionally - to be able to experience that full-body orgasm. Foreplay has a lot to do with it too. If your partner knows your body, I see no reason you shouldn't be able to achieve orgasms during sexual play. Unless you have some undiagnosed medical issue.
PogoStick Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 You might not be able to orgasm with your partner. However, I have a feeling you will figure it out when you are in a long term relationship and develop trust and intimacy. Also, you are still rather young regarding sex. Your sexual brain wiring may not fully develop for several more years. Find a good partner and just keep after it. Regarding lubrication, it's something you should investigate. Discuss the situation and get a pelvic exam with an OB. Make sure you get hormones measured, estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, LH, FSH, and prolactin. Also, if you're on any medications, including birth control, this could affect your lubrication and orgasm response. Ask about "Vagifem", sometimes adding a little estrogen will do the trick, especially if you're on hormonal contraception.
phineas Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 drink some wine. I've dated plenty of women that could only orgasm when they were a little tipsy. Eventually they got comfortable enough to orgasm sober.
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