Mjm1014 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 So let's say you sense they are losing interest, and you bring it up to them and they say that their fine..what should you do? Let it go, demand some sort of explanation, or just go with the flow? Long story short my gf went to putting in 100% effort into this to basically just enough to get by to keep me interested. She doesn't do the cute things as much anymore, doesn't call or text as much, and when we are together she just doesn't seem that enthusiastic hanging out, and way less affectionate. She still talks about the future though and tells me she really likes me from time to time. When I ask if everything is okay, she says she's fine and that I'm worrying too much, but seriously things are so different since we've started dating. I asked her about a week ago when I saw her relationship status hidden on Facebook...like I said something seems off and I can't figure out what. It's kind of driving me crazy. I miss how things use to be a month ago when she was so excited about us/me. Maybe honeymoon phase is just over? Idk.... Dating a little over 2 months, she's 23 I'm 28.
Sameold Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 If you feel something isn't right chances afre it isn't. I would look at the current situation and establish whether you afre happy with the way things are. You have raised your concerns which was right, only you can decide if you want to continue down that path should they not be addressed.
Author Mjm1014 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 I just don't know if I'm overthinking things and don't want to push her away by making it a bigger issue than it might be. I mean we still talk and hang out I just get a weird vibe from her. I'm not sure if this is normal after dating someone for 2-3 months and the "honeymoon phase" is over for her...:
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Everybody gets complacent. instead of focusing on what she isn't doing for you, think about the last night you did any romantic gestures for her. They don't have to be huge but have you given her flowers later, even a single stem? Have you bought her chocolate or sent her a snail mail card? Gone on a picnic? had a candlelit dinner? gone dancing? drawn her a bubble bath? given her a back rub? Cleaned her apartment?
Author Mjm1014 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 The thing is, I'm always doing nice things for her, in fact just last time I saw her I bought her a bracelet. I'm always trying to do those type of things for her, but she really doesn't do anything cute/sweet anymore.
ascendotum Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 The thing is, I'm always doing nice things for her, in fact just last time I saw her I bought her a bracelet. I'm always trying to do those type of things for her, but she really doesn't do anything cute/sweet anymore. I can relate to your situation from past experience. Quite a few girls are not great communicators of their true feelings even though guys usually have the rep for that. From what you wrote its not a good sign considering this relationship is ONLY 2mths old. She should be full on in love still in the honeymoon phase. I don't buy the complacent theory this early on. Something is not right and even if she says its not, in your mind you know its not the way to was and the way it should still be at this early stage in the relationship. You want more enthusiasm from a gf, so you don't have to stay in this relationship long term if this is her best. She was not on a rebound or down in confidence when you first met her was she? 1
candie13 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 she's not telling you the truth. 2 months is awfully short for the honeymoon to be over. there def is something else going on that she is not telling you about - given the hidden fb message, prob another man. You will find out, with time... take her on a nice weekend or prepare a thing outside the city, to give you two the time to reconnect. I reckon you'll find out sooner, rather than later.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 The thing is, I'm always doing nice things for her, in fact just last time I saw her I bought her a bracelet. I'm always trying to do those type of things for her, but she really doesn't do anything cute/sweet anymore. You're trying WAY too hard. When you act too nice and over pleasing, it causes a woman to lose attraction. Plus, now you're acting insecure on top of it and always bugging her about what's wrong. My advice? Scale way back on all the nice gestures. Also give the woman some space and stop smothering her/acting insecure. Let her reach out to you more. When she does, plan dates that end in the bedroom. Get back to being a regular guy that's consistent with dates, who takes care of her needs sexually, and acts sweet once and awhile. If you're too sweet, she's going to get romantic cavities dude. 1
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Sometimes there's nothing you can do about it, at least that's what I've learned. My ex even told me he knew he wasn't giving 100% anymore because he knew he "had" me and I wasn't going anywhere, and that he would try to be better. In the end, they're going to do what they want. You can't force someone to care, unfortunately. Just realizing that you deserve someone who will always put forth that effort can be enough to let go.
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I missed the 2 month thing. Never mind. You should not have bought her jewelry so early on but since there are already problems, this is dead before it got off the ground. Nobody gets board in 60 days. If they do they have dating ADD. Let her go
Gary S Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 (edited) At two months, the honeymoon phase should be just beginning. She never really fell in love with you. Time to start dating others, it's the beginning of the end, sorry. Edited June 15, 2015 by Gary S
toscaroscura Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 You're trying WAY too hard. When you act too nice and over pleasing, it causes a woman to lose attraction. Plus, now you're acting insecure on top of it and always bugging her about what's wrong. My advice? Scale way back on all the nice gestures. Also give the woman some space and stop smothering her/acting insecure. Let her reach out to you more. When she does, plan dates that end in the bedroom. Get back to being a regular guy that's consistent with dates, who takes care of her needs sexually, and acts sweet once and awhile. If you're too sweet, she's going to get romantic cavities dude. It's not that women don't like sweetness*. But if she IS having doubts (which it sounds like she is, or something is going on with her), then all that over-the-top niceness just makes her feel guilty and put-upon. Not that I think YOU are saying women don't like sweetness, but just in case someone reads it like that and starts harping about how women love jerks again.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 It's not that women don't like sweetness*. But if she IS having doubts (which it sounds like she is, or something is going on with her), then all that over-the-top niceness just makes her feel guilty and put-upon. Not that I think YOU are saying women don't like sweetness, but just in case someone reads it like that and starts harping about how women love jerks again. Exactly. There's a big difference between a guy that's romantic and sweet from time to time to make a woman feel appreciated and an over the top nice kiss ass.
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