QuesoQueRT Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 This is my first time posting so if this in the wrong spot sorry. I have been dating this girl for about 3 months. Everything has been pretty good. A few arguements here and there. Anyway.. I thought this past week was going amazing!! and it seemed all perfect and everything. Well me and my girlfriend were supposed to go to a concert and i dont have my license yet. So her brother was taking us. Then she got mad cause my parents wouldnt let me go home with her brother cause the NJ parkway was "dangerous at 12a.m." She broke up with me and then this whole thing started when she called her ex for help. She called me on the phone crying and said she was sorry and wanted to get back together. I said ok cause i thought she was serious. and I think she was. But the thing is that she was on the phone with her ex for 45 min talking about this. And then after all that.. she tells me she still has feelings for him! i dont know exactly what that means but w/e. She said he said sorry for what he did and he still loves her. But he has a g/f too! I lost my mind and didnt know what to think. or to do. almost made a big mistake by hurting myself but thats a whole nother thing. Well, this morning i got to school late and when i walked down the hallway she was not in our normall spot. I saw her furthur down the hallway with that kid. her ex. They were just talking about some stuff. I still dont know what yet. And she said on the phone last night if i have the need to talk to him face to face, you will be next to me. Im going crazy! I dont want to lose her at all! I dont want her to go back to him. I need some help guys and girls! what should i do? what should i think? what should i say? please help!
alex434 Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Sounds like she is confused, if you ask me that was a stupid reason for her to break up with you... In terms i find it to be an excuse to leave you because she still has feelings for her ex, but now that she is with neither of you she doesnt know what she wants... kinda sounds like what i went through before. What you need to do is speak up, talk to her face to face and ask her what she really wants, what she is thinking, tell her how you feel, but dont open up too much.. cause you might get hurt in the end. Tell her the truth, that you dont wanna lose her and especially dont want her back with her ex... I'm not saying to make her choose... between you and him but you are a part of this too so you should belong in the conversations they have, if worse comes to worse, i'd say leave her cause even if she gets back with you it still doesnt change the fact that she has feelings for her ex. Its really what you want to do, let her know and ask her. Good luck!
Author QuesoQueRT Posted May 3, 2005 Author Posted May 3, 2005 update: she cheated on me with him friday and told me tonight. It was at school and well.. yep.. it happened, just as i expected. Im very confused becasue we got back together and everything was fine, she said she loved me and what not, and then this. It started thursday. She skipped seeing me to see him and lied and said she had get an earing from some girl. Then on friday she kissed him two times in school. And said they havent been haning out in school. I don.. well.. wow. Thanks for the advice anyway. just wanted to let you who read this what happened. edit- what should i do? work things out? she says she dosen like him she loves me. im confused. i need help badly. thanks..
alex434 Posted May 3, 2005 Posted May 3, 2005 she loves you and doesnt like him or want him but she kissed him? and skipped out going out with you on friday and did only what god knows with him? Tell her how it is how can you trust her when shes already broken your trust and if he means nothing to her why has she done these things... sometimes its best to pursue it, others times its not, but in my case i would use a guilt trip tell her no its over and if she doesnt care or doesnt try to stay with you then you know that she doesnt really love you, if she does give her a chance, if she does it again, LEAVE HER, they do it once, they can sure as hell do it again, watch your back!!!
Author QuesoQueRT Posted May 3, 2005 Author Posted May 3, 2005 thanks alex for the advice!! Another update: She broke up with me and that night she called crying and saying how big of a mistake it was and that she would never talk to or see him EVER again. Now im very scared about other guys.. which i was never before. Im never going to be able to trust her when she says she was "just downstairs or talking with her mom for an hour" im always going to be thinking about where she REALLY is. Were back together now for some weird reason and she has been through a lot this same weekend with a "sexual assult case" involving the cops so i need to be her friend now. But i will always be watching and making sure it dosent happen again. The funny thing is taht she did this with the guy she kissed last year when she was with him. Same exact thing. So im pretty sure shes eventually gonna do it again or worse but ill let the days and events come as they come.. If i find out though that she does it again.. its over.. for good. no matter how bad i still want her.. can i get some more advice.. anything. ideas, comments, little things you noticed i did wrong or anything at all! just tell me. thanks!!
alex434 Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 the main block starting with a relationship is trust, and yes when your partner breaks this, its hard to trust what they say or do.. Only thing you can actually do is check up on what shes doing, if you need to ask around, ask if shes been with ne other guys or whatever, if you have some friends that are girls im sure they will tell you if they see her cheating on you, i assume this is how you found out the first place, it sounds like she wants you and if she is willing to do such a thing as stop talking to her ex for you and such then i would go with it. The fact that she did the same exact thing with this guy last year is a problem because it may be a form of pattern, like i said, expect the unexpected, its ok to be with her but until you feel its "safe" watch your back and examine all possible explanations or roads to take when dealing with her, hope it works out for you! Alex
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