Mjm1014 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I'm not sure if I'm making a big deal out of nothing, and need some opinions. So I've been in a steady relationship with a girl for about two months now, and in the beginning she was constantly texting me cute things, posting about us on Facebook, constantly wanting to spend alone time with me, and wanting to have long conversations on the phone to get to know me...for the last month all that has changed somewhat. Now, when we hang out, almost all of our time is spent at her house around her parents-we rarely get time one on one. If I try to plan a date she always says, I need to see what my parents are doing first then she just invited me over to be with them. She hasn't posted anything on Facebook in over a month and she's on there a lot posting things about her friends and family, if I post any pics or write on her wall she ignores it, and her relationship status has disappeared on FB twice and she hasn't posted about us since (she put it back up when I asked her about it but I think it's set so I can only see you the status since no one even liked it). Also, when I'm with her I just get a different vibe from her. She just seems less affectionate and it bugs me she doesn't seem to want to spend as much alone time together. The thing that confuses me is she still talks about our future together, and if I bring any of this up she tells me to trust her, that she's really happy being with me. She seems like a great girl, and her family has taken me under their wing and have been very generous to me, but I guess I'm still concerned what's going on in her head. Should I just see where this goes or in your opinion should I talk to her about this more?
Lansing Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 How old is she/you? A lot different if we are talking about 16 year olds vs. 20+ year olds.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 OP, have you met her friends? Her not wanting to go out on dates is strange. How old are you both?
Author Mjm1014 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 I'm 28 she's 23 and still lives with her parents. Like I said in the beginning we would always go out, she would want to come over to my place. We do occasionally go out but I feel like it's pulling teeth. We spend 80% of the time at her house now with her parents. We get zero alone time for the most part. For the fact her status on FB disappeared twice it makes me feel like something is up. I usually don't care about Facebook but her actions have changed a lot in the past month
Author Mjm1014 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 Also I have not met her friends, and to be fair she really doesn't hang with her friends much, my job keeps me out of town part of the month so when I'm home I want to go out on dates and do things together, and not always be hanging around her family. I know that's important to do too but not every single day. In the past month we've spent two nights alone and have gone on one date. The rest has been at her house spending hours watching tv with her parents
benmac360 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Have you discussed this with her, maybe say that you would appreciate more date nights alone with her when you are in town? Also are you in constant contact with her when you are apart from one another? I always go by what a person does and not what they say - that reveals a person's true intentions. The fact that she does not want to be alone with you all that much might mean she is losing interest in the relationship.
Author Mjm1014 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 The thing is I've brought up the relationship status thing about a week or two ago, and she says I'm worrying too much and that she does like me. She got really defensive about that and feel like it pushed her away a little. I feel like I shouldn't even have to bring any of this up because it's so obvious our relationship has changed and she seems less than thrilled being with me. I'm at the point I feel like if I bring this up further she will drift further so maybe I should just let it go? I'm starting to feel like she could be just leading me on or staying with me for the wrong reasons. I hate that our relationship feels like this but I feel stuck. Like she's not telling me the whole story....
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 This has all happened in the span of two months? You should be enjoying the honeymoon phase, not wrestling to get time alone with her. I think I'd just end it. You're clearly and understandably not happy with the direction this has taken. Being in her twenties and wanting to spend "date nights" with her parents around is too much. Coupled with her odd online activity and her apparent unwillingness to spend time alone with you, I can see why your alarm bells are going off. I agree that there's something she's not telling you. I don't think it matters too much what that is; it's not working for you. 1
Emmie83 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Short honeymoon phase.... Just talk it out with her....and go from there.
umirano Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Short honeymoon phase.... Just talk it out with her....and go from there. LoL what is there to talk about? How much drama one can manufacture in only two months? Ditch the non-committal chick and find someone who's actually into you.
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