childhood sweethearts that never had their time

[mistakes]

Heya All,

 

I'm a married man having an affair with my childhood sweetheart who is also married with 2 kids.

 

This might be too long to read.

 

Our history stretches back during high school days. She was the girl who gave me a lot of firsts back during the time I had 0 confidence. She was absolutely gorgeous then (even now), and I fell madly in love with her back then.

 

Unfortunately, when I went after her, I stopped and gave up after feeling inferior and intimidated (since there was just way too many much better guys in front of her). I was a wuss then and just couldn't handle my lack of confidence.

 

Some months later, when we ran into each other again, she emotionally confessed that she wanted to be with me instead and not his boyfriend. Armed with this, we spent the rest of the night together. A night which would remain etched in my memories in clear detail even now.

 

She then felt terrible about cheating on her boyfriend and she decided to move on and stay with her then BF.

 

Through 15 years going through college and our young adult lives, we both moved on but we'd constantly show up on each other whenever one of us became available again or when going through difficulties.

 

Sadly, one of us is always taken whenever we catch each other. During this time, I know that I always wanted to be with her. Never had the courage to wait it out and/or fight it through, so I'd just rebound with someone else or be ultra focused on whatever I'm doing to keep myself distracted.

 

Some years later, while I was in a long term relationship, she went back to me when her boyfriend got her pregnant. Just like before, she says she wants to be with me instead and asked me to take her.

 

I still loved her then but just as before, I simply couldn't muster the courage to man up and go for the girl that I wanted to be with. I let her go. I just had to move on.

 

Knowing that she's now completely off the market, I decided to marry my long term girlfriend. My wife pushed me to my limits - to always better myself and get better at anything that I did. She helped me build my confidence. We eventually started and grew businesses one after the other.

 

Currently, we are in the middle of fighting lows in the business. My wife and I are living apart in two different countries managing businesses on both sides.

 

My childhood sweetheart once again popped up right at the moment of my weakness, bout of depression and loneliness. She was just as charming, gorgeous as she was then. Our coffee catchup quickly escalated to a dinner, then drinks and KTV in my unit.

 

I was hooked. I am in an affair. Our affair exists in a third world for both of us. Since we know no one on both sides could know nor would be happy to know.

 

I'm confused. I feel my emotions have brought me back to the days when I should've done what I shoud've to get my childhood sweetheart.

 

Now it's too complicated to do anything about it. But it seems our attachment to each other is only to grow stronger with each passing day.

 

I feel a bit horrible and guilty about this all. I do not want to break my wife's heart nor her family with their 2 kids... But the tug to be with my childhood sweetheart and her kids seems so much stronger.

 

Am I dreaming to think that this could end up a happy ending with me and my childhood sweetheart? Will the collateral damage of this will be worth it at all?

Does anybody here gone through something similar as this?

Edited June 15, 2015 by mistakes

[cozycottagelg]

Pick one woman and stick with it. If you don't choose your childhood sweetheart, ask her to never contact you again. These types of games are best left in high school, not the real world.

 

Tell your wife the truth.

[mistakes]

Pick one woman and stick with it. If you don't choose your childhood sweetheart, ask her to never contact you again. These types of games are best left in high school, not the real world.

 

Tell your wife the truth.

Thanks cozycottagelg. We all know that's what we ought to do. Deciding and carrying whatever the burden of the decision we'll make. One way or the other I already hurt my wife.

 

The question that I'm still pondering, and would be great to hear from those that's been through it is this - is worth giving up everything to go for the one that you wanted to be with all along?

[TrustedthenBusted]

Heya All,

 

I'm a married... with 2 kids.

 

Am I dreaming to think that this could end up a happy ending with me and my childhood sweetheart? Will the collateral damage of this will be worth it at all?

 

 

Imagine your wife sneaking off and bumping nasties with her high school sweetheart-football-captain-boy-who-got-away.

 

How would you and your kids feel if they ran off together.

 

 

 

 

Now... ask me the collateral damage question again.

[RightThere]

Thanks cozycottagelg. We all know that's what we ought to do. Deciding and carrying whatever the burden of the decision we'll make. One way or the other I already hurt my wife.

 

The question that I'm still pondering, and would be great to hear from those that's been through it is this - is worth giving up everything to go for the one that you wanted to be with all along?

 

Obviously, this could go two totally different ways.

 

One, this is the love of your life and you don't want to pass up on this opportunity.

 

Two, the image of what this woman means to you is totally different from the real world person. You've had plenty of opportunities to be together (or so it seems) and it hasn't worked out. And that's probably a sign. So instead, you've built up this fantasy in your head of who this woman is and how wonderful your lives together would be.

 

Either way, Cozy is right. Based on where you are currently at (i.e. in an affair) there is no wrong way to go now. But you really need to make a decision and stick with it. Leave your wife and be with this other woman, or cut it off completely and focus on your wife.

 

Being in love and with someone is not like the movies. All of that is just the imagined version in your head that you've built up. Reality is much tougher.

[minimariah]

The question that I'm still pondering, and would be great to hear from those that's been through it is this - is worth giving up everything to go for the one that you wanted to be with all along?

 

no one call tell you this -- i'm sure there are many folks who had similar experience and it was worth it FOR THEM... and there are many who regretted it.

 

nothing comes with a guarantee -- you might live your happily ever after with your childhood sweetheart & you might last a couple of years before something happens. no one call tell you that, that's why you take risks and time tells you was it worth it or not.

 

be ready for complications, she has 2 children & those children have and need their father - meaning, you'll have to adapt to life where you'll be forced to interact and communicate with her now husband for the sake of their children.

 

either way -- your relationship with your W is over so end that as soon as you can, with or without your childhood sweetheart. doesn't make sense staying married to someone you probably never loved.

 

hopefully, folks who have been through this will give you some direct experience on everything that might happen in the transition, divorce and things like that.

[gettingstronger]

Thanks cozycottagelg. We all know that's what we ought to do. Deciding and carrying whatever the burden of the decision we'll make. One way or the other I already hurt my wife.

 

The question that I'm still pondering, and would be great to hear from those that's been through it is this - is worth giving up everything to go for the one that you wanted to be with all along?

 

 

Only you can answer that- and at this point is looks like a no- for whatever reason neither of you are willing to pull the trigger on "being with the one you wanted all along"

 

I can say that since you consider your family "collateral" as in "collateral" damage-its time to put up or shut up- either you want to do right by them or you don't-

[loveboid]

There are lots of stories of reunited lost loves. There's a site and a book about it.

 

The author says the pull is strong and most people are happy except when one or both are married. Affairs cause heartache. I'm in the camp that you choose one woman and don't tell the wife. If you keep the affair there's a chance that your wife finds out and is crushed.

[elaine567]

I know you think this is "love" but the truth of the matter is that this girl appears to be a serial cheater. Is that really someone you want to be involved with?

Is she really worth throwing away your businesses for?

[Furious]

Heya All,

 

I'm a married man having an affair with my childhood sweetheart who is also married with 2 kids.

 

This might be too long to read.

 

Our history stretches back during high school days. She was the girl who gave me a lot of firsts back during the time I had 0 confidence. She was absolutely gorgeous then (even now), and I fell madly in love with her back then.

 

Unfortunately, when I went after her, I stopped and gave up after feeling inferior and intimidated (since there was just way too many much better guys in front of her). I was a wuss then and just couldn't handle my lack of confidence.

 

Some months later, when we ran into each other again, she emotionally confessed that she wanted to be with me instead and not his boyfriend. Armed with this, we spent the rest of the night together. A night which would remain etched in my memories in clear detail even now.

 

She then felt terrible about cheating on her boyfriend and she decided to move on and stay with her then BF.

 

Through 15 years going through college and our young adult lives, we both moved on but we'd constantly show up on each other whenever one of us became available again or when going through difficulties.

 

Sadly, one of us is always taken whenever we catch each other. During this time, I know that I always wanted to be with her. Never had the courage to wait it out and/or fight it through, so I'd just rebound with someone else or be ultra focused on whatever I'm doing to keep myself distracted.

 

Some years later, while I was in a long term relationship, she went back to me when her boyfriend got her pregnant. Just like before, she says she wants to be with me instead and asked me to take her.

 

I still loved her then but just as before, I simply couldn't muster the courage to man up and go for the girl that I wanted to be with. I let her go. I just had to move on.

 

Knowing that she's now completely off the market, I decided to marry my long term girlfriend. My wife pushed me to my limits - to always better myself and get better at anything that I did. She helped me build my confidence. We eventually started and grew businesses one after the other.

 

Currently, we are in the middle of fighting lows in the business. My wife and I are living apart in two different countries managing businesses on both sides.

 

My childhood sweetheart once again popped up right at the moment of my weakness, bout of depression and loneliness. She was just as charming, gorgeous as she was then. Our coffee catchup quickly escalated to a dinner, then drinks and KTV in my unit.

 

I was hooked. I am in an affair. Our affair exists in a third world for both of us. Since we know no one on both sides could know nor would be happy to know.

 

I'm confused. I feel my emotions have brought me back to the days when I should've done what I shoud've to get my childhood sweetheart.

 

Now it's too complicated to do anything about it. But it seems our attachment to each other is only to grow stronger with each passing day.

 

I feel a bit horrible and guilty about this all. I do not want to break my wife's heart nor her family with their 2 kids... But the tug to be with my childhood sweetheart and her kids seems so much stronger.

 

Am I dreaming to think that this could end up a happy ending with me and my childhood sweetheart? Will the collateral damage of this will be worth it at all?

Does anybody here gone through something similar as this?

 

 

 

I've had old sweethearts contact me. Odd thing is that I was suspicious and rightly so. It's a fishing expedition....first off they just want to say hello, talk about the old days, and then comes, I'm depressed, not happy, never got over you.....translation...it's laziness and mid life crisis with a dash of being stuck in the glory days, it's pretty immature to be stuck in their teen years, as this shows lack of growth and maturity in their adult years.

 

I got rid of them pretty easy, just offered to speak to their wives...ya know help them out with their martial problems....funny after inferring to speak to their wives I never heard back from those good old sweethearts.

Edited June 15, 2015 by Furious

[autumnnight]

OP, I am not being sarcastic, I am asking a real question.

 

When you look in the mirror, do you admire the man you see...the man who is cheating on his wife?

[TaraMaiden2]

I had a friend called Jane. (no, not her real name.)

 

She met a man, in school, called John (No, not ditto ditto....)

 

They went through all their school years together, went to different universities, and met different people, and married them.

But all this time, they kept in touch.

 

John divorced his first wife, and married a second.

Jane stayed married to her spouse and had 3 children.

 

She and John still remained in touch.

 

Jane had always had a thing, a connection to John.

John had always had a thing, a connection to Jane.

 

Yet they neither wanted to call it love, being soulmates or destiny.

 

In the end, Jane divorced her spouse.

John divorced his spouse.

 

That was 12 years ago.

John and Jane got together then.

They're still together now.

All the families survived the turmoil, trauma and disruption.

 

Because life moves on, and things move with them.

 

The end.

 

(Or beginning. Take your pick.)

[Sassy Girl]

I love the bit where you say your wife pushed you to better yourself.

 

And as soon as she's gone, look what you become.

 

Are you happy with yourself. You seem pretty smart, but THIS is not smart. You're in fantasy land with no repercussions right now. It's not reality. Your reality will be betrayal, pain, splitting of assets, child support, spousal support, raging kids from broken homes, almost never seeing your kids (they're in a different country, right?), disappointing your parents, fiends, children in laws.....

 

No one can tell you what to do. But counselling - pronto- would be a good start.

[Sassy Girl]

I had a friend called Jane. (no, not her real name.)

 

She met a man, in school, called John (No, not ditto ditto....)

 

They went through all their school years together, went to different universities, and met different people, and married them.

But all this time, they kept in touch.

 

John divorced his first wife, and married a second.

Jane stayed married to her spouse and had 3 children.

 

She and John still remained in touch.

 

Jane had always had a thing, a connection to John.

John had always had a thing, a connection to Jane.

 

Yet they neither wanted to call it love, being soulmates or destiny.

 

In the end, Jane divorced her spouse.

John divorced his spouse.

 

That was 12 years ago.

John and Jane got together then.

They're still together now.

All the families survived the turmoil, trauma and disruptions.

 

Because life moves on, and things move with them.

 

The end.

 

(Or beginning. Take your pick.)

wow. That's a pretty story. I especially like how you manage to gloss over the bold part. Almost as if whether their names are real is more important than said "turmoil, trauma and disruption"

What you forget to say is that it lasts years and for children of betrayal it often permanently alters their world view and impacts how the perceive relationships and can affect them into their relationship. It causes fighting, anxiety, depression, sometimes suicdal thoughts. The disruption usually means a power standard of living for everyone and kids being shuffled to and from split homes. That's before you even add in the blended family element. Especially if OP ends up raising her kids but not his own. The jealousy and anger that that situation creates ruins relationships between children and parents. Trust me - I've been there.

 

So yeah, people move on, but there are scars. And some run deep. And you wont know the impact. And glossing over it like its some blip is not reflective of at really happens. You're not helping.

[TaraMaiden2]

wow. That's a pretty story. I especially like how you manage to gloss over the bold part. Almost as if whether their names are real is more important than said "turmoil, trauma and disruption"

What you forget to say is that it lasts years and for children of betrayal it often permanently alters their world view and impacts how the perceive relationships and can affect them into their relationship. It causes fighting, anxiety, depression, sometimes suicdal thoughts. The disruption usually means a power standard of living for everyone and kids being shuffled to and from split homes. That's before you even add in the blended family element. Especially if OP ends up raising her kids but not his own. The jealousy and anger that that situation creates ruins relationships between children and parents. Trust me - I've been there.

 

So yeah, people move on, but there are scars. And some run deep. And you wont know the impact. And glossing over it like its some blip is not reflective of at really happens. You're not helping.

 

I didn't gloss over anything.

I told it like it happened.

Much depends on the approach used and how people communicate.

The amount of disruption, trauma and turmoil is also dependent on how people communicate.

 

With humans, anything is possible.

That's obvious from the different attitudes and the enormous diversity of issues discussed.

In the end we're all survivors.

How much baggage we choose to carry with us, is our choice.

 

And I'm sorry if you think that's unrealistic and unhelpful.

But it's the closest thing to fact as you'll ever get.

[Sassy Girl]

I didn't gloss over anything.

I told it like it happened.

Much depends on the approach used and how people communicate.

The amount of disruption, trauma and turmoil is also dependent on how people communicate.

 

With humans, anything is possible.

That's obvious from the different attitudes and the enormous diversity of issues discussed.

In the end we're all survivors.

How much baggage we choose to carry with us, is our choice.

 

And I'm sorry if you think that's unrealistic and unhelpful.

But it's the closest thing to fact as you'll ever get.

 

There is a difference between facts and anecdotes. I've got an anecdote too - sounds nothing like yours though.

 

However, , the bold part, I agree with. But most of he fallout is beyond OPs control - how his wife and children react, how his girlfriends husband and children react. No control. It's not about carrying baggage. They don't get to skip off merrily into the sunset without leaving damage. and that's all that's left behind: damage, that THEY inflicted

[TaraMaiden2]

There is a difference between facts and anecdotes. I've got an anecdote too - sounds nothing like yours though.

 

Actually, the story I related is factual. Not anecdotal.

It actually all happened.

What is the difference between a fact and true anecdote then?

 

However, , the bold part, I agree with. But most of he fallout is beyond OPs control - how his wife and children react, how his girlfriends husband and children react. No control.

I disagree.

It's how you approach things. if you go in all guns blazing, stating that this is how it's going to happen, how it's going down, and there's nothing anyone can do about it, or do to stop it, it's going to have a markedly different effect to sitting quietly down with them all, first individually, then all together, and trying to answer questions and explain what they feel....

 

It's not about carrying baggage. They don't get to skip off merrily into the sunset without leaving damage.

I never said they would.

But its measure can be variable, and there are damage-limitation factors one can implement...

 

and that's all that's left behind: damage, that THEY inflicted

Again I disagree.

It's not so black and white.

You're suggesting that every divorce or separation involves intense pain, discomfort and unhappiness.

I dispute that. having experienced several instances of divorce/separation, i can attest that HOW it's done, has an enormous effect on how it's received.

[autumnnight]

I am not sandy, but I think that the objectionable part was the overall glib, no-biggie attitude toward betrayal.

 

Yay, sweethearts live happy...never mind how much it hurt the BW and kids to learn that husband/daddy got a girlfriend and left.

 

Bottom line, for most people, an affair is a painful betrayal.

[Bailey14]

Dear, dear mistakes.....let me tell you a story. The MM I am involved with has been my friend since we were 12 years old. We were each other's first sexual experience when we were 17. We have been in and out of each others lives and reconnected at a high school class reunion. We are now involved in a full blown love affair which is now 5 years old. We are now 64 years old and it is too late to uproot our lives to be together. Don't spend your life pining over your high school sweetheart. Make a choice and stick to it before it is too late. Please don't get to be my age full of regret for not having found the right person to grow old with.

[Babs22]

Does the OP have children with his wife? He never mentioned that.

 

OP, Your childhood sweetheart has two children, does she even want to leave her spouse to be with you? Is this something you have talked about? You need to have a really honest discussion with her. Many times when two people in an affair are married, one just isn't able to leave their spouse for whatever reason.

 

Do you love your wife OP? You married her, did you marry her because you loved her or did you marry her because your childhood sweetheart was officially off the market?

 

Years ago, before you married your wife, your childhood sweetheart came to you and ask you to take her/be with her. Why didn't you do that then? What stopped you?

 

I agree with TaraMaiden2 when she said,

You're suggesting that every divorce or separation involves intense pain, discomfort and unhappiness.

I dispute that. having experienced several instances of divorce/separation, i can attest that HOW it's done, has an enormous effect on how it's received.

Currently, the way you are going about it will cause intense pain, discomfort, unhappiness. If the A is discovered by either your wife or her husband, the ability for either or both of you to end it with your current spouse in an amicable way is most likely gone. I think you and your AP need to figure out if you truly want to be together or not. if you do, I think you both need to stop seeing each other for awhile, in order to end your current marriages. Once you have done that, you could then be with each other. No one here can tell you what the right answer is, but you should probably make a decision and stick with it. Carrying on in a long term A is not a good solution.

[beach]

Heya All,

 

I'm a married man having an affair with my childhood sweetheart who is also married with 2 kids.

 

This might be too long to read.

 

Our history stretches back during high school days. She was the girl who gave me a lot of firsts back during the time I had 0 confidence. She was absolutely gorgeous then (even now), and I fell madly in love with her back then.

 

Unfortunately, when I went after her, I stopped and gave up after feeling inferior and intimidated (since there was just way too many much better guys in front of her). I was a wuss then and just couldn't handle my lack of confidence.

 

Some months later, when we ran into each other again, she emotionally confessed that she wanted to be with me instead and not his boyfriend. Armed with this, we spent the rest of the night together. A night which would remain etched in my memories in clear detail even now.

 

She then felt terrible about cheating on her boyfriend and she decided to move on and stay with her then BF.

 

Through 15 years going through college and our young adult lives, we both moved on but we'd constantly show up on each other whenever one of us became available again or when going through difficulties.

 

Sadly, one of us is always taken whenever we catch each other. During this time, I know that I always wanted to be with her. Never had the courage to wait it out and/or fight it through, so I'd just rebound with someone else or be ultra focused on whatever I'm doing to keep myself distracted.

 

Some years later, while I was in a long term relationship, she went back to me when her boyfriend got her pregnant. Just like before, she says she wants to be with me instead and asked me to take her.

 

I still loved her then but just as before, I simply couldn't muster the courage to man up and go for the girl that I wanted to be with. I let her go. I just had to move on.

 

Knowing that she's now completely off the market, I decided to marry my long term girlfriend. My wife pushed me to my limits - to always better myself and get better at anything that I did. She helped me build my confidence. We eventually started and grew businesses one after the other.

 

Currently, we are in the middle of fighting lows in the business. My wife and I are living apart in two different countries managing businesses on both sides.

 

My childhood sweetheart once again popped up right at the moment of my weakness, bout of depression and loneliness. She was just as charming, gorgeous as she was then. Our coffee catchup quickly escalated to a dinner, then drinks and KTV in my unit.

 

I was hooked. I am in an affair. Our affair exists in a third world for both of us. Since we know no one on both sides could know nor would be happy to know.

 

I'm confused. I feel my emotions have brought me back to the days when I should've done what I shoud've to get my childhood sweetheart.

 

Now it's too complicated to do anything about it. But it seems our attachment to each other is only to grow stronger with each passing day.

 

I feel a bit horrible and guilty about this all. I do not want to break my wife's heart nor her family with their 2 kids... But the tug to be with my childhood sweetheart and her kids seems so much stronger.

 

Am I dreaming to think that this could end up a happy ending with me and my childhood sweetheart? Will the collateral damage of this will be worth it at all?

Does anybody here gone through something similar as this?

 

It looks like your OW "pops in" every now and then.

 

Is she still married?

 

It seems she has cheated on her H with you her entire marriage. Know that this is who she is - as a person. Is that what you want?

 

Do you even love your wife? You didn't say... And how old are your two kids?

 

Is it possible to stay closer to your wife? It appears you get tempted by this OW when your W is far away. Can you stop traveling and stop the affair?

[RightThere]

OP, I am not being sarcastic, I am asking a real question.

 

When you look in the mirror, do you admire the man you see...the man who is cheating on his wife?

 

Kind of a loaded and pointless question, don't you think?

 

How would you respond if the answer was "yes"?

[No Limit]

Divorce and be with the woman you prefer. Your ex would survive it, and the kids would survive it as well. At least move instead of living a lie until it all blows up in your face and pitying yourself - which has been the outcome of several threads in the past months by the way. Do you want to add your story to the pile in the future?

[harrybrown]

You have kids involved.

 

Start being an adult and think about the kids before yourself.

 

This is a huge mess. It will not end well for you. Sorry.

[mistakes]

Thank you guys for all the great thoughts out here. I finally had a good night sleep after letting this story out in the open. It's great to see so many perspectives come in.

 

 

One, this is the love of your life and you don't want to pass up on this opportunity.

 

Two, the image of what this woman means to you is totally different from the real world person. You've had plenty of opportunities to be together (or so it seems) and it hasn't worked out. And that's probably a sign. So instead, you've built up this fantasy in your head of who this woman is and how wonderful your lives together would be.

 

Exactly what I've been pondering. I believe that I've known her and her family quite well and vice versa - but the possibility that it was all a fantasy in both our heads is quite high. Being each other's crying shoulder when we both go through issues doesn't mean we know each other how our husband/wife knows us.

 

 

How would you and your kids feel if they ran off together.

 

Now... ask me the collateral damage question again.

 

We don't have kids in our marriage yet, our kids probably were the businesses we started.

 

I will be in pain and agony if she does that of course. I admit and quite upset that I am doing this to her. However, right now, I feel and actually hope that she just finds a better man than me than won't hurt her like this. I feel I don't deserve her love anymore.

 

 

either way -- your relationship with your W is over so end that as soon as you can, with or without your childhood sweetheart. doesn't make sense staying married to someone you probably never loved.

 

I have asked my wife to come and stay here with me for a few months to resolve with myself if I loved her or not.

 

In the back of my mind, I know my guards were down due to my weakness, depression and loneliness and I have allowed this to happen to me. I should've have known better (or read the stories here earlier). Maybe, having my wife next to me will help me know the answer. Part of me thinks, that I may have slipped up because I just missed her.

 

Only you can answer that- and at this point is looks like a no- for whatever reason neither of you are willing to pull the trigger on "being with the one you wanted all along"

 

I can say that since you consider your family "collateral" as in "collateral" damage-its time to put up or shut up- either you want to do right by them or you don't-

 

Thanks, I guess my word choices shows what's on my mind.

 

I want to get a grasp of what the fallout is going to be and the pain that we'll cause everyone. Since this is the price that we'll have to pay.

 

I know you think this is "love" but the truth of the matter is that this girl appears to be a serial cheater. Is that really someone you want to be involved with?

Is she really worth throwing away your businesses for?

 

This crossed my mind a lot specially during the earlier years and how it all started with us. But after that first encounter, she never entertained me or just downright ignored me whenever she was in a relationship. I only heard from her whenever she's broken up with her boyfriend and when she got pregnant and wanted to run from the dad of the kid.

 

I know it's outright dumb and I'm just so befuddled at myself and my thinking. I am letting time pass to allow my head to catchup with my heart.

 

There are lots of stories of reunited lost loves. There's a site and a book about it.

 

The author says the pull is strong and most people are happy except when one or both are married. Affairs cause heartache. I'm in the camp that you choose one woman and don't tell the wife. If you keep the affair there's a chance that your wife finds out and is crushed.

 

My thoughts are if I chose my wife, cut everything off with my AP, allow myself to move on and sort it out within myself and then tell the wife when I'm resolved and fully over it. This seems the less messy path from here.

 

My wife is quite the alpha, she'll be with me as long as she see's my resolve and confidence to fix things and make things better when it's opened. Otherwise, I'm just gonna hurt us both if I tell her now.

 

I've had old sweethearts contact me. Odd thing is that I was suspicious and rightly so. It's a fishing expedition....first off they just want to say hello, talk about the old days, and then comes, I'm depressed, not happy, never got over you.....translation...it's laziness and mid life crisis with a dash of being stuck in the glory days, it's pretty immature to be stuck in their teen years, as this shows lack of growth and maturity in their adult years.

 

I got rid of them pretty easy, just offered to speak to their wives...ya know help them out with their martial problems....funny after inferring to speak to their wives I never heard back from those good old sweethearts.

 

We were just very close friends during the years between high school until she got pregnant and I got married. We've seen each other grow and mature.

 

I guess that was a ticking time bomb that I should've seen from a far.

 

I love the bit where you say your wife pushed you to better yourself.

 

And as soon as she's gone, look what you become.

 

Are you happy with yourself. You seem pretty smart, but THIS is not smart. You're in fantasy land with no repercussions right now. It's not reality. Your reality will be betrayal, pain, splitting of assets, child support, spousal support, raging kids from broken homes, almost never seeing your kids (they're in a different country, right?), disappointing your parents, fiends, children in laws.....

 

No one can tell you what to do. But counselling - pronto- would be a good start.

 

Thank you Sassy Girl. Exactly why I literally told my wife to drop everything and be with me right now. I believe I can still recover and go down the not so messy route. And yes, I have scheduled time with my very closest mentors to help me out of this mess.

Edited June 16, 2015 by mistakes