fleurdelis Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I don't know how common of a theme this is, but I am very depressed and dejected right now. I was with my ex for 4 years on and off and him and I have a child together. Just recently in Jan. he broke things off again and I just did no contact and let it go. I know deep down the relationship was bad and very unstable and that to be honest, I am better off. However it still HURTS to know that he has already married someone else. He never even had the heart to tell me and I found out by seeing the wedding band and then asking his mom. It's a very depressing situation overall for me because I feel like I was not good enough. Maybe when we broke up I should have pursued him like I did in the past. I do know that my ex is the type who cannot handle being alone. The ironic thing is that the only way I know the new lady's name is by my son mentioning her and this did not start until mid Feb. I know that my feelings are normal and that this is something that I have to work through. It was not really that long ago that he was trying to get me to move back in with him. Anyone ever go through this and what helped you to get passed the feelings of being unworthy. I appreciate your thoughts and opinions on this matter.
Emilia Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I think on/offs are a sign that something isn't meshing long term. I've also seen people sticking it out more next time around
Jimmyjackson Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 His marriage won't last. The first year of a relationship is all honeymoon phase, people often confuse love with lust. It takes years to fall in love with someone on a deep level and want to marry them. If you're missing him, ask yourself: Why am I missing someone who married another girl after 5 months? 1
foolinlove79 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Ive been in an on off rs for years too. My ex hasnt married anyone else but. The thing i am starting to painfully realise is that we were on and off because he just wasnt that into me. I was always a plan b when he was lonely. He was always thinking there is someone else out there he would be happy with. Im glad we didnt get married because it would of ended badly. And another thing i realised is my ex just cant be on his own. Sounds like yours might be like that too. I would be shocked if that marriage lasted more then 6 months or a year. I mean it takes at least a year to get to know someone. Theyd both still have their best faces on.
JewelD Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 No, you did the right thing by letting it go. You shouldn't have to chase him. But consider this, he was just trying to get you move in with him but now he's marrying this girl. He'll probably try to get back with you again at some point in the marriage. You know what kind of person he is. Is that someone you want to be married to? A diamond is a diamond. Some people will confuse it with a rock, a fake, but at the end of the day, it's still a diamond. Just because one person does not see your true worth does not make you any less valuable than you are. It just makes that person an idiot. He'll figure it out one day, but you'll have already met someone who knew what you were worth from the start. 1
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