hoeleemoelee Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 (edited) Hi Community, Well i dont really know where to start but ill just go ahed. I met this girl at a weekend trip where I look after Children. She was in the "adult team" taking care of the Childeren with me. I knew her before but have never talked to her. She knew some of the other teamers quite well but not many. I knew nearly everbody. The first day we didnt realy talk much but the moment i saw her she seemed to be a very nice and good looking person. I dont really know when or how it happend but the next day we started talking a lot to each other and realized that we like each other. We tried to stay in the same place or do the same stuff if there were different activities so that we could be together (not obviously of course). We laughed a lot and even if it sounds strange i got a crush on her in just those 4 days. This has never happend to me before.... At the last day we had to clear up the house we were in and help the children do their beds etc. We somehow managed to clear up the rooms that were not tidied up very well just the two of us. Stuff like this happend all the time. At trips like this we always have envelopes with every member so that you can write them a letter at the end how nice it was (children and adults/teens). I wrote her a letter with my phone number in it and she wrote on to me saying she was really happy to meet me. After i got home i found out she has a boyfriend We started chatting over the phone anyway. This was two months ago and we have been texting every day. In these two months i have met her a couple of times but never alone, always in a group. At the party where we were together she followed me around and talked to me until i suggested to go dancing again and stuff like that. Every time we laugh together and look at each other. 2 weeks ago i asked her if you wanted to go and eat an ice cream with me... and the didnt answer for like 8 hours. (this may not seem unnatural to you but i knew she had seen the message like 2 minutes after i asked her and she never ever has taken that long to answer). As i am really dumb i said to her its ok to say no and if she doesnt know what to answer she should just ignore it. Well and the same thing happend again no answer even though i knew she read it after 10 minutes of me sending it... The next day this answer came "well i dont think it is a good idea to meet you alone because i have a boyfriend, that doesnt mean that i dont really like you" So i thought well thats it and wrote " oh that unfortunate :/ " And she said "Yes :(" A few day later we met again at a sleepover with friends. As always we did stuff so that we are very near to each other but nothing really special. Then at the sleepover we were next to each other. I put my hand out of my quilt at the egde of my matress on purpose of course. We talked ages before going to sleep. I woke up 2 or 1 hour later i donw know and her hand was on mine. So i thought "hmm well this cant be random or could it?" dumb as i am i didnt check to see if she was awake or wake her up and show her so i went back to sleep aswell no idea until today if it was random or not. The next day everybody left early insted of us and we talked for 3 hours alone. Nearly finnished sorry... A week later after i asked her how she was doing she said not so good. I asked her why and she said "well its about my boyfriend" but didnt want to tell me any more. The next day we met again with friends and she was pretty normal at first. But then she was strange and started to wander off looking at her mobile phone all the time... I went after her and asked her whats up. She told me about her boyfriend not knowing if he is the right one and that she doesnt know what to do and so on... (she is togehter with him 3 months so not long). I just listend and told her that she should listen to her heart etc. After that we went dacning again but she wasnt in a good mood of course... The next day we met again and she was in a better mood. We went minigolfing with friends and we ended up doing the course just the two of us somehow it just happens That was yesterday. On tuesday she is going to meet her boyfriend to talk to him but she never said she wants to split up with him. She probably knows i like her but I am not 100% sure. Thing is when we chat i always write quit a bit more than her. If i complment her most of the time she seem to dogde or change the subject. But not always and she always replies and sometimes also really much sometimes not hmm... For exaple after i asked her to go out for an ice cream it was a bit strange. But every time i see her she seem to like me so much its strange and the thing with the hand, always hanging around me, her answers about the ice cream, and now not knowing if her boyfriend is the right one could that all just be coincidnce? One more important thing, she is extremly realy extreamly shy and much younger than me which may play an important role you should consider... she is 16 i am 24 not ideal i know but i cant help myself... I have only had one girlfriend in my life because i am just not a guy who goes out with random girls.. And basically everybody knows that there is something strange between us. From texting i would say i dont have a chance but when i see her i think the exact opposite... Should i just tell her now? Wait to see what happens with her boyfriend? Not tell her and just try to meet her? Problem is it could be quit a while until I see her next if i dont just randomly go by her house (2 weeks or even more) Sorry for the long text i hope somebody can manage to read it Edited June 15, 2015 by hoeleemoelee
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 OP, you need to stop this. What in the heck are you thinking? First, the age difference is too big and you can help it. You just don't want to. What on earth do you want with a teenager? You realize that she and her friends and family would likely view you as the creepy older guy, right? Don't put yourself in that position. Spread your interests with women closer to your age. For so many reasons, this is a bad idea. You are approaching your mid-twenties and I'm guessing she hasn't even finished high school yet. Not good, at all. Second, even if she were an adult, it's clear she's not receptive to your advances. I sense that you are making her a bit uncomfortable (ie. long delays to you asking her out..she was probably hoping you'd take the hint) but she doesn't yet have the courage to tell you to knock it off. She has a boyfriend. None of the texting and hanging out matters for this reason. She isn't available and you need to back off. Do not randomly go by her house - I hope you weren't seriously considering that. That would be very inappropriate after she's already told you no. You have no business butting in to her relationship. 1
coryreply Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 OP, you need to stop this. What in the heck are you thinking? First, the age difference is too big and you can help it. You just don't want to. What on earth do you want with a teenager? You realize that she and her friends and family would likely view you as the creepy older guy, right? Don't put yourself in that position. Spread your interests with women closer to your age. For so many reasons, this is a bad idea. You are approaching your mid-twenties and I'm guessing she hasn't even finished high school yet. Not good, at all. Second, even if she were an adult, it's clear she's not receptive to your advances. I sense that you are making her a bit uncomfortable (ie. long delays to you asking her out..she was probably hoping you'd take the hint) but she doesn't yet have the courage to tell you to knock it off. She has a boyfriend. None of the texting and hanging out matters for this reason. She isn't available and you need to back off. Do not randomly go by her house - I hope you weren't seriously considering that. That would be very inappropriate after she's already told you no. You have no business butting in to her relationship. ^^^ My thoughts exactly.
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