SpiritAxela Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I really, truly didn't want to leave my girlfriend of three and a half years, but it came to an end today. I really wanted it to stay together, and I told her that, but in the end, she said it was over. I alternate between feeling numb and wanting to cry. She meant the world to me, and now it feels like my whole world is crumbling. I wish I could go back to how everything was this time last night, when we were still a couple. I don't even know where to go from here. Right now I just want to sink into a hole and disappear. I invested so much into this relationship, and to see it end like this practically kills me. The one solace is that neither of us wanted to break up, so there may be hope yet to fix things. I'd like to think that, but I'm so confused, so distraught, I can hardly tell up from down. I just... I don't even know what I should do. I feel so hurt, and so damaged, I don't even know what to do. I loved her so much, and the thought of going on without her just brings on another bout of tears. I want to feel her next to me one last time, to feel her hands, her arms, to see her face, for us to smile together, just one last good memory would be enough. I feel like I'm about to snap. She was the one; so many forces brought us together, and now to be torn apart so suddenly, I feel destroyed. I just don't know what to do...
DexterLS Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 There's nothing you can do. As hard as this is to affect, it's the truth. My girlfriend of 6/7 years cheated and left too and it's over. You can't change her mind now! Begging, telling her you will make it right, won't do anything. I know this is harsh, buddy. I know "moving on" is much easier said than done. I know how the next few weeks is going to be for you. It's going to suck but you have to realise it WILL get better. This is just a temporary phase that you're in. The only thing you can do is go straight to No Contact and start healing yourself. If you do this right, you will be back on your feet in no time! 1
imbax Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Same thing happened to me buddy. I was and still am feeling exactly what you're feeling right now. Best thing to do is just cut ALL ties with her immediately, block her on Facebook. Never speak to her again for anything. This is the single BEST way to get over her. Unfortunately I learnt the hard way and broke contact 2-3 times in total over the past 2 months. This really set me back and didn't help with her views on me. Please, whatever you may or may not think, just cut all ties and contact and move on. This will make you look: 1. Strong 2. Independent 3. Like a REAL man who did NOT have to be with her if she does not want it and has OTHER options without her. <---- VERY ATTRACTIVE 4. You also get to keep your pride and dignity without looking pathetic TAKE THIS ADVICE FROM OTHERS WHO HAVE COME DOWN THE SAME ROAD! 1
Author SpiritAxela Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 Just had to have an anxiety attack. Thanks for the advice. Here's the tricky part, though - I bought a car for her a bit ago, with the stipulation that she would pay me back for it. I've seen no money, so the car comes home with me. Obviously, this is going to break NC, and I can't exactly ask a friend to run over and pick it up for me. Should I just bite the bullet and get my car, or count it as a loss and let it go?
imbax Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Just had to have an anxiety attack. Thanks for the advice. Here's the tricky part, though - I bought a car for her a bit ago, with the stipulation that she would pay me back for it. I've seen no money, so the car comes home with me. Obviously, this is going to break NC, and I can't exactly ask a friend to run over and pick it up for me. Should I just bite the bullet and get my car, or count it as a loss and let it go? Just be civil and ask her for the car back. You're in and out within the minute. Definitely get the car back. DO NOT COUNT IT AS A LOSS. That's HUGE amounts of money even for a cheap car. 1
loveiswar101 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Hey Follow imbax's advice here. Hits everything on the nail. Be strong and look after yourself here in. For sure get car back too !
Yummm Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Sorry you're going through this mate. You're in for a tough one, but as everybody said it will pass. I'm 5 weeks post break up and the first few weeks were hell, but it DOES get easier, with NC. Definitely get the car back, have your head held high and do the deed. You're in the early stage of grieving so getting it back won't 'prolong' your healing, just get it done and start your healing. We're here for you buddy!
imbax Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Sorry you're going through this mate. You're in for a tough one, but as everybody said it will pass. I'm 5 weeks post break up and the first few weeks were hell, but it DOES get easier, with NC. Definitely get the car back, have your head held high and do the deed. You're in the early stage of grieving so getting it back won't 'prolong' your healing, just get it done and start your healing. We're here for you buddy! Hey Yummm I am 2 months into BU but I don't feel any better though. What should I do? 1
Yummm Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Hey bro, long time, hope all is okay. I think you need to really analyse your situation, I believe you ARE feeling better. Look at the context of your posts, when you first started posting, to after you met her, to now. Dig deep down into your heart and really be honest with yourself. Yes, you're not over her, yes you still feel for her everyday, but does that mean you aren't getting better? Are there times that she isn't always in the forefront of your mind? I'm sure there are, that means you're situation is better than it was. Are there times when you can have a laugh with friends without her dominating your head? Perhaps... this means you're situation is better than it was! I think you're healing man, I can tell.. as are all of us... Keep it up! 1
coryreply Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 The one solace is that neither of us wanted to break up, so there may be hope yet to fix things. I'd like to think that, but I'm so confused, so distraught, I can hardly tell up from down. I just... I don't even know what I should do. I'm confused, OP. If you both didn't want to break up, then why did you break up? 1
Author SpiritAxela Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 I'm confused, OP. If you both didn't want to break up, then why did you break up? This one originally threw me for a loop, and eventually through the wingers. I'm thinking either a lot straighter or I've totally lost it, but I started connecting dots that I think say a lot. -I have money. I buy her a car. I still have money. We're connected at the hip. - I don't have money. Spending time together is like pulling teeth. -I get financial aid. Connected at the hip. -Money runs out. Pulling teeth. Worth noting this money is spend on "us," IE her. Oh, and her other boyfriend. For whom I did a lot of pro Bono mechanic work for. Right now, I'm torn between Downright furious and debilitatingly depressed, with an anxiety attack in the wings ready to go. Tl:dl, I think she "didn't want to leave' meant," I know you'll be getting more cash soon, but you're on to me. Better jump ship!"
imbax Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 This one originally threw me for a loop, and eventually through the wingers. I'm thinking either a lot straighter or I've totally lost it, but I started connecting dots that I think say a lot. -I have money. I buy her a car. I still have money. We're connected at the hip. - I don't have money. Spending time together is like pulling teeth. -I get financial aid. Connected at the hip. -Money runs out. Pulling teeth. Worth noting this money is spend on "us," IE her. Oh, and her other boyfriend. For whom I did a lot of pro Bono mechanic work for. Right now, I'm torn between Downright furious and debilitatingly depressed, with an anxiety attack in the wings ready to go. Tl:dl, I think she "didn't want to leave' meant," I know you'll be getting more cash soon, but you're on to me. Better jump ship!" Good thing you got out of this relationship in my opinion. Even if I were a millionaire, I would not want my girl to like me just because of my money. You want a girl who will love you even if you have nothing. Someone who is there at your weakest and darkest times. 1
coryreply Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 This one originally threw me for a loop, and eventually through the wingers. I'm thinking either a lot straighter or I've totally lost it, but I started connecting dots that I think say a lot. -I have money. I buy her a car. I still have money. We're connected at the hip. - I don't have money. Spending time together is like pulling teeth. -I get financial aid. Connected at the hip. -Money runs out. Pulling teeth. Worth noting this money is spend on "us," IE her. Oh, and her other boyfriend. For whom I did a lot of pro Bono mechanic work for. Right now, I'm torn between Downright furious and debilitatingly depressed, with an anxiety attack in the wings ready to go. Tl:dl, I think she "didn't want to leave' meant," I know you'll be getting more cash soon, but you're on to me. Better jump ship!" That is harsh, bro! So sorry. Hang in there.
mightycpa Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Worth noting this money is spend on "us," IE her. Oh, and her other boyfriend. For whom I did a lot of pro Bono mechanic work for. Her other boyfriend? Seriously? It seems hard to believe you knew this, but it sure comes across like you did. If you hurry up and go get that car, she might leave your balls hanging on the rear view mirror for you, and you can have them back.
Author SpiritAxela Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 Err, bit of a snag. She keeps talking to me. As if we were good friends, and I'm not sure how to react. To make it more complicated, I haven't had the chance to get my car back. I'm just dumbfounded. But I'm feeding better. The most irritating thing about this whole thing is that I remain uninspired to write. Oh, well...
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