Author boyslie932 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Well I feel a bit better now. I spoke to a guy I consider like a second father about it at length, and it helped a lot. I know I love the dude, but I did EVERYTHING I could. There was no positive outcome for me so I was brave enough to save myself and can walk away with dignity. The other girl can have him, he has too many issues to fix. Too much damage has been done. If God forbid he ever tries to come back around, I will be moved on. I know right now I'm talking tough, and I know that there will be times that the memories still knock the wind out of me, but right now I think I need to use my anger to fuel me moving on. Is that a good way to do it? I have my own house, no kids, never been married, a college degree, a good job, I'm in pretty good shape, and I'm a genuine, good, honest person... I'm a good catch. I'll be fine. He's going to jack around with this girl, end up hurt again, and either stay in his revolving door forever or eventually move on, but he will think of me often. Nobody forgets the way someone made them feel and in his own words, he loved the way I love(d) him and made him feel. I will take solace in that alone for now. I may have lost some good memories and a handsome face and my first love, but I'm also leaving behind lies, manipulation, games, and someone who has zero self-respect. And he lost "the most amazing girl to ever walk into his life". 1
aloneinaz Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 The key here is to stay NC and minimize as much as possible any thoughts of him. You know your decision is correct. He has a bag full of issues that are going to be big factors for the next few years. If you can stay NC, you'll feel better quicker. Then when you're ready, start to date again. Don't sit home for months and months "getting over it".. My ex reappeared after 5.5 months and was persistent thru email. I said NO WAY to a reconciliation and stopped replying to her. You need to have your head in the place if he reappears the next time those two break up again. Don't let yourself be a safe port for him during his next storm.
Author boyslie932 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 The key here is to stay NC and minimize as much as possible any thoughts of him. You know your decision is correct. He has a bag full of issues that are going to be big factors for the next few years. If you can stay NC, you'll feel better quicker. Then when you're ready, start to date again. Don't sit home for months and months "getting over it".. My ex reappeared after 5.5 months and was persistent thru email. I said NO WAY to a reconciliation and stopped replying to her. You need to have your head in the place if he reappears the next time those two break up again. Don't let yourself be a safe port for him during his next storm. I can do NC. Sure, there are more things I wish I had said to him but I made my decision and it took a LOT of courage, I'm walking away with my dignity and self-respect. I won't ruin that by reaching out. He's definitely got issues and they won't be going away anytime soon. I've been trying to surround myself with people at all times, and when I'm alone I have been actively doing things to force me into thinking about moving on and the future. It helps to feed off of the anger I feel towards him. I've put all of our pictures/his letters/cards/memories in a box, I have been pinning things about moving on and walking away, and it may be juvenile but I made an actual Pros & Cons list and put it on my fridge. Seeing how he tried to make me promise to essentially wait, (it seemed like after I said I was walking away he tried to flip it into he needed to try to work on things with the other girl, but that was the manipulator in him trying to get me to stay), I think if things don't work out with this girl he will definitely be back. At that point I would love nothing more than to shut him down. Or better yet, never even respond to his attempts. This site helps too. Seeing how other people have gone through the same (or worse) as me but are now happy and relieved they moved on gives me something to look forward to!
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