Annaab29 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I've been "talking" to this guy for about a month. I like him a lot. We both work a lot and live in the city to buses/subways are our transportation so it's hard to get together but as soon as we can we do. I'm so attracted to him and at first I thought it was gonna be casual but I have feelings for him now. Hes always telling me he misses me, he wants to see me everyday, he likes me so much, ect. We had this amazing date last night. We walked around the city & sat by the water and we just talked for hours about everything. Towards the end of the night I decided to bring up what exactly are we doing. I basically said I'm not seriously talking to anyone else and are we doing more than hanging out? He got kind of silent then said "So you have been thinking about what I talked about?" I said "what?" He then got a phone call and walked away. My bus came so I walked past him and got onto my bus. He then texted m "e "No kiss? Nothing?" So I answered "You ignored me so I ignored you." So he said "What I can't answer my phone?" Then I replied. "You can. I just want to know what were doing? If were just hanging out say so. If you wanna do you say so, so I can do me and not be pressed on just you. He didn't answer. So I said "I'm gonna end up hurt, loose my number." I haven't heard from him and I regret what I said. Should I apologize or wait and see if he texts me? I'm just so confused on why he just won't say. I'm not sure if this matters but I'm white and he's black. Im the first white girl he's datedn He's made comments like; I can't wait for you too meet my family, they're gonna be like Oh you dating a white girl!? But they're gonna love you. I wonder what my friends are gonna think? Etc. Could this be the problem?
smackie9 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 It could be a pack of bull sh it too. You have to be careful guys will talk the talk to fill your head with things you want to hear, and then when confronted talk in circles to divert your attention to avoid giving an answer......and he did just that. His actions speak volumes. If it was really important to him, he wouldn't have taken that phone call and talked about it.....he didn't. Then when you asked him again he didn't give you direct answer. Like I always say, if you have to ask where you stand it's not good, because if a man is truly on the same page with you he would not hesitate to express it asap, so no one else swoops in and take you away from them. I don't think you acted to hastily, you went on instinct. You called him out and he didn't respond the way you need him to. He hasn't called you since.......if he truly had strong feelings for you and you meant the world to him he would have been begging you to talk to him to make it right, don't you think?
mystikmind2005 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 People always want to chose bad timing when to call for some reason?? I say screw em if that's their attitude, I'm not answering! lol
guest569 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Walking away to answer a call at that point says it all. And he still hasn't answered you. Delete his number and move on.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Eh, I think you kind of over-reacted to him taking a call. You could've continued the conversation when he was finished. How much time elapsed between you telling him to say what he wants, and then you telling him to lose your number? In any case, he evidently followed your suggestion and lost your number. I think this could have gone differently if you'd continued speaking when he ended his call. You may not have got the answers you wanted anyway, but it would've been a more constructive discussion and you wouldn't have been left hanging. Oh well. I have feeling he wasn't on the same page anyhow, or he probably would've tried to make amends.
Redhead14 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I've been "talking" to this guy for about a month. I like him a lot. We both work a lot and live in the city to buses/subways are our transportation so it's hard to get together but as soon as we can we do. I'm so attracted to him and at first I thought it was gonna be casual but I have feelings for him now. Hes always telling me he misses me, he wants to see me everyday, he likes me so much, ect. We had this amazing date last night. We walked around the city & sat by the water and we just talked for hours about everything. Towards the end of the night I decided to bring up what exactly are we doing. I basically said I'm not seriously talking to anyone else and are we doing more than hanging out? He got kind of silent then said "So you have been thinking about what I talked about?" I said "what?" He then got a phone call and walked away. My bus came so I walked past him and got onto my bus. He then texted m "e "No kiss? Nothing?" So I answered "You ignored me so I ignored you." So he said "What I can't answer my phone?" Then I replied. "You can. I just want to know what were doing? If were just hanging out say so. If you wanna do you say so, so I can do me and not be pressed on just you. He didn't answer. So I said "I'm gonna end up hurt, loose my number." I haven't heard from him and I regret what I said. Should I apologize or wait and see if he texts me? I'm just so confused on why he just won't say. I'm not sure if this matters but I'm white and he's black. Im the first white girl he's datedn He's made comments like; I can't wait for you too meet my family, they're gonna be like Oh you dating a white girl!? But they're gonna love you. I wonder what my friends are gonna think? Etc. Could this be the problem? First of all, you don't bring this kind of conversation up at the very end of an evening when you're close to leaving and have to jump on a bus. That puts pressure on the situation. Usually, when a man is pressured, the response will be negative by default. But he wasn't necessarily being negative, he was engaging the conversation by saying you've been thinking about something he told you. You didn't give him a proper opportunity to talk. Secondly, you don't say "what are we doing"? You make a STATEMENT about what it is you want for yourself out of your dating journey in general and then let them talk. If they aren't looking for the same thing, you move on. "So you have been thinking about what I talked about?" -- Apparently, he told you something significant somewhere along the line and you didn't remember? He has made some kind of statement to you in the past . . . he was willing to talk about it. He asked you a question and was willing to discuss it. He engaged the conversation. Him answering a phone call wasn't really that bad. Maybe it was something he really needed to address. You don't know, so don't assume he was trying to be rude. This was bad timing for sure and you missed something he told you before. You made a knee-jerk decision while under pressure and told him to lose your number that's probably why he hasn't called. I wouldn't reach out to him again. If he calls you and wants to finish the conversation and tells you he wants to date you, then you apologize.
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