adamastor Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Hello all, I recently met this young lady, we hit it off and I ended up asking for her phone number. A couple of days later I started texting her she replied within minutes and we had full conversations. Every few days I would text her again. Another couple of days later I asked her out to get coffee which she agreed. I suggested a day we met up. The date went pretty good, she said was happy to see me. After that I was again the one texting her first to say I had a good time, she quickly replied that had a good time too, we chit chat, she teases me in a cute way. Later on I started being more flirty with her, calling her cute names and again she replies by the same token. However I have been almost always the one initiating contact, like out of 10 convos she would initiate not more than 1 or 2. I decided to test her by not starting anything it's been almost a week and I have yet to hear from her. I have been thinking she was interested in me at least to some extent but I know some girls just text and date because out of boredom or because they are push overs. I'm starting to have mixed feelings about her level of interest it seems like if I don't take the initiative to text her I will never hear back from her ever again. What do you think? thanks for the input
DivorcedDad123 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Almost a week and no texts tells me she's not interested. When you're interested, you begin to miss talking/texting them. She would have initiated by now, imo. Move on and find someone who WANTS to talk to you.
aloneinaz Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 This ^^ She's not interested. When I was dating, if I didn't feel the gal was initiating contact as much as I, I knew I wasn't her plan A but probably her plan B. I'd do the same as you. If I felt like I was always the one to reach out, I'd stop and see if she'd even reach out again. Often times, my thoughts were correct. I wouldn't hear from them again. My experiences are if a girl likes you after date 1, they will stay in contact unless the guy doesn't ask them out for date 2 in a reasonable amount of time. 1
Lansing Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Until she rejects your dates, assume she is interested... She just might have been taught to not contact guys. Let the guy chase, etc. I think you are shooting yourself in the foot for not contacting her if you are getting good responses from her and she accepted you invite. Just ask her out on DATES. Not everyone wants to just text back and forth! Or, maybe call her at some point and gauge her interest level that way. It is easy to tell if someone doesn't want to talk to you in person or on the phone. This board is quick to tell people to "give up". I don't think you have enough evidence right now. She could be sitting at home thinking "what did I do, why hasn't he contacted me... I guess he lost interest". You set the framework that you were contacting her all the time, etc so don't just disappear now. Ask her out again and go on dates and see how it goes in real life. 2
spriggan2 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 (edited) While signs show it's unlikely that she's interested...it is impossible to say for sure here. There could be other reasons for her behavior. Some people have weird habits when using technology for social purposes so you never know. My non-expert advice to you would be this: If you are still interested, and she hasn't said no, then continue the routine, and each time you meet try to get closer to figuring out if she's really into you. Maybe even ask her straight up if you've got the nerve. However I don't think it would be right to admonish her for not proactively texting you. That's just something you'll have to cope with if you think she's worth it. Edited June 15, 2015 by spriggan2
mystikmind2005 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Might be an idea to send her a text and say something like this "hi, sorry i have not sent any messages lately, i was just waiting too see if you would message me" Then just leave it at that, say no more, and then see how she responds?
PogoStick Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Less texting. (WAY LESS) More dating. The only thing your texting achieves is ambiguity. I text girls I'm dating once or twice a week, and mostly just to set up the next date. Getting to know you is the prize for dating. You're giving it away.
Cinnimon Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I rarely text first if ever, it's nothing against the guy, I just feel more comfortable if he texts me first. I always do exactly as your girl does, respond immediately and enthusiasticly. It has nothing to do with my lack of interest in him and if asked I would tell him so. Why don't you just mention it to her and see what she says. 1
Author adamastor Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 If she's not interested why accepting a date and even spontaneously reminding me of the date? She doesn't see like the attention whore type, but I guess it doesn't mean anything :{
Redhead14 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Hello all, I recently met this young lady, we hit it off and I ended up asking for her phone number. A couple of days later I started texting her she replied within minutes and we had full conversations. Every few days I would text her again. Another couple of days later I asked her out to get coffee which she agreed. I suggested a day we met up. The date went pretty good, she said was happy to see me. After that I was again the one texting her first to say I had a good time, she quickly replied that had a good time too, we chit chat, she teases me in a cute way. Later on I started being more flirty with her, calling her cute names and again she replies by the same token. However I have been almost always the one initiating contact, like out of 10 convos she would initiate not more than 1 or 2. I decided to test her by not starting anything it's been almost a week and I have yet to hear from her. I have been thinking she was interested in me at least to some extent but I know some girls just text and date because out of boredom or because they are push overs. I'm starting to have mixed feelings about her level of interest it seems like if I don't take the initiative to text her I will never hear back from her ever again. What do you think? thanks for the input Call her! Making assumptions about what's going on based on texts is ridiculous. You haven't contacted her, she hasn't contacted you. I agree, she should initiate more, but really you've just met. You don't know how she feels about texting. Maybe she's just tired of all the texting. Not only that, you were doing most of the initiating anyway. She didn't have to initiate and since you had been doing so much, you set a precedent, so maybe she's sitting there wondering "why hasn't he contacted me?" You don't know until you know. Hit the reset button. Call her ask for a date and go from there. Your last interaction with her was encouraging, was it not? Go by your last interaction and keep that momentum going.
jefermelesyeux Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 From what I've gathered, you've only been on one date, no? It's still really early to be able to gauge her interest. Also, as others have said, you've been doing most of the initiating, which she probably got used to and therefore doesn't feel the need to do. Call her up, plan another date, take things from there. Continue to date her and if she's still not initiating conversation somewhere down the line after you've been on several dates, maybe have a talk with her about her intentions. These things are important early on to avoid confusion and frustration, though not so necessary at the very beginning. Good luck!
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