accident_prone Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 been seeing this awesome girl for about 6 weeks. been having a great time. last night she was over and said "we need to talk" and it caught me off guard. essentially she wanted to know what we were and where i stood. here is what's weird, i know exactly how i feel about this girl and we're on the same page. we act like a couple and do couple type things. but i was so caught off guard and half asleep that i fumbled around and kinda made an idiot of myself. to be honest i haven't even thought much about it cause I've just been enjoying myself and her. so for whatever reason i couldn't get it out right and made it way more complicated than it should be and i think it threw her off a bit but i did make it clear that i was into her and not seeing anyone else. and it got late and she had to leave. so i've got a busy week this week and not seeing her for several days but i just feel weird and bad about the whole conversation now even though i know she knows how i feel regardless of what i did or didn't say. we didnt part on bad terms by any means an everything seems good but I'm usually very good with words but i was so out of it and caught off guard that i fumbled big time. advice?
smackie9 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Being out of it is no excuse but it shows you are not on the same page. If she really was this spectacular girl, you were falling for her, can't stop thinking about her, feel real passionate about, you wouldn't be fumbling and she wouldn't have to be asking you where "this is going" talk. You were caught of guard because it isn't on your mind, you two are pretty much just hanging out having a good time. You are truly not feeling it....she pretty much got her answer. 2
Halcyon Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 (edited) You don't feel the same way as she does. I've been in your shoes, don't fool yourself if she was ****ing amazing you would be jumping at that offer. You are luke warm about her, which may change it may not. For me personally though after 6 weeks I would know if I saw something longer term or if she was someone who was just ok for now. If I was you have a good long hard think about if you see her as girlfriend material if you don't let her go she is falling for you and it could end up being very painful and messy. I've been there it isn't cool for anyone involved. Good luck. Edited June 15, 2015 by Halcyon
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Send her a bouquet of flowers with a sweet card something like Looking forward to what our intertwined future brings. 1
compulsivedancer Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Just because you fumbled it doesn't mean you don't feel it. Figure out you want to say, then call her and say it. Apologize for having trouble answering the other day (without a lot of excuses) and just tell her how you feel. 1
compulsivedancer Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Send her a bouquet of flowers with a sweet card something like Looking forward to what our intertwined future brings. I would have no idea what this meant. I would think this was beyond bizarre. But you can find something that makes sense for your relationship. 1
preraph Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 If you're ready for some sort of next step, I'd have her meet some of your friends or a sibling to show her you're really interested. 1
Popsicle Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Well, I guess it's time for you to think about it.
Author accident_prone Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 thanks for all your responses and input. but believe me, i know how ridiculous this sounds when i say it, but most of you are wrong in saying that i'm not feeling it. i really am. this is a girl i am crazy about and spend a lot of my free time with. i may have explained it poorly but my issue is that i am too much inside my head and its awful. i have been burned in the past where as soon as something was going great and became official, it got weird and fell apart, (and i sort of explained that to her and i think she got it) so i become paranoid with this stuff. which of course is ridiculous. i'm quite aware. but if i "wasnt feeling it" or didnt care, well, i wouldnt really care.
Halcyon Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 thanks for all your responses and input. but believe me, i know how ridiculous this sounds when i say it, but most of you are wrong in saying that i'm not feeling it. i really am. this is a girl i am crazy about and spend a lot of my free time with. i may have explained it poorly but my issue is that i am too much inside my head and its awful. i have been burned in the past where as soon as something was going great and became official, it got weird and fell apart, (and i sort of explained that to her and i think she got it) so i become paranoid with this stuff. which of course is ridiculous. i'm quite aware. but if i "wasnt feeling it" or didnt care, well, i wouldnt really care. Then if you are crazy about her get out of your head and go fix the mistake you made before she thinks you only see her as a FWB situation. Basically time to man up and get over your insecurities before you make a self fulfilling prophecy. 3
Author accident_prone Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 thats absolutely my intent. and also the main reason i posted this at all. i was looking for advice or anyone with similar experience. but i do appreciate your candor.
spriggan2 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I tend to agree with what's been said. If she sought serious information about your status and you screwed it up, fix it asap. Won't a phone call work? 1
Redhead14 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 been seeing this awesome girl for about 6 weeks. been having a great time. last night she was over and said "we need to talk" and it caught me off guard. essentially she wanted to know what we were and where i stood. here is what's weird, i know exactly how i feel about this girl and we're on the same page. we act like a couple and do couple type things. but i was so caught off guard and half asleep that i fumbled around and kinda made an idiot of myself. to be honest i haven't even thought much about it cause I've just been enjoying myself and her. so for whatever reason i couldn't get it out right and made it way more complicated than it should be and i think it threw her off a bit but i did make it clear that i was into her and not seeing anyone else. and it got late and she had to leave. so i've got a busy week this week and not seeing her for several days but i just feel weird and bad about the whole conversation now even though i know she knows how i feel regardless of what i did or didn't say. we didnt part on bad terms by any means an everything seems good but I'm usually very good with words but i was so out of it and caught off guard that i fumbled big time. advice? Timing is everything. She did this wrong. Not you. You do not open a conversation like this when it's so late, getting ready to leave or getting ready for bed or falling asleep! You do it casually and when there is some time for it. Usually a woman will do it this way if she thinks she might get a negative response so that she doesn't have to deal with it face to face for long. And, you never open that conversation by saying "we need to talk". That statement by itself makes a person uneasy from the get go. Anyway, you did give her some information that should be valuable to her -- you're into her and not seeing anyone else. She did this wrong, caught you off-guard and that's not fair. If you are interested in defining the relationship with her, call her and say "Hey, I was caught off guard but I'd like to address the subject on X day and X time. Let's talk with clear heads. It's always a little uncomfortable, but it should be given a proper opportunity for discussion.
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