dreamer2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Almost a month ago, I wrote of a Christian girl at work that I was giving attention to but she was not reciprocating the way I was expecting..... "I would love to but I am a little hesitant because I don't know you well." This is what she said after I asked her out. This was after getting to know her really well in a few months. I decided to give her space by not giving her any attention but I still said "hi" when I saw her at work. Since then she has been seeking a lot of attention, getting jealous when i talk to other female coworkers, she changed the way she dresses from looking okay to very nice. The other day, I caught her looking through my facebook profile. Though, we still barely talk or text......just a few hello's and quick answered work questions. Should I pursue asking her again or the first rejection was enough? Thanks in advance.
smackie9 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 I think you should do some push and pull on her first. Give her a little attention, then act aloof, make her think you are slipping away. If she chases hard, reward her with a little more attention. The build up is key. The reason why she is acting the way she does is that the more you make yourself less available to her the more desirable you become. I'm sure after awhile you will find the right moment to not formally ask her out, but ask her to hang out on break, or go out as a group with coworkers.I think if she see you being desired by other girls, and have her at arms length....the only thing she is going to want is to go out with you.
La.Primavera Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 No, you have done enough. She knows you are interested now. If she wants you then she has to make the effort and meet you half way. You can't be running after her like a puppy, just give her time to think about it. The fear of losing your interest is already bothering her by the sound of it. Be patient and see what happens. 1
TheBathWater Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 I think you should do some push and pull on her first. Give her a little attention, then act aloof, make her think you are slipping away. If she chases hard, reward her with a little more attention. The build up is key. The reason why she is acting the way she does is that the more you make yourself less available to her the more desirable you become. I'm sure after awhile you will find the right moment to not formally ask her out, but ask her to hang out on break, or go out as a group with coworkers.I think if she see you being desired by other girls, and have her at arms length....the only thing she is going to want is to go out with you. This can work, but at what cost? I did something like this with a coworker once, and it was exhausting (but she was also much more extreme than this girl sounds). If there are other women who you have potential with, focus on them instead. Good luck, and let us know if you land her.
Author dreamer2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 @smackie9 you have some good points but for how long should I keep feeding attention when I am not getting none back. @la.primavera That's what I was thinking. I cant go 90 percent of the way for her to make just 10 percent of the effort. it needs to be half and half. Should I continue acting the way it has been since she declined going out?
Author dreamer2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 This can work, but at what cost? I did something like this with a coworker once, and it was exhausting (but she was also much more extreme than this girl sounds). If there are other women who you have potential with, focus on them instead. Good luck, and let us know if you land her. This whole situation is quite exhausting. This girl can be quite exhausting as well but that's why I decided to ask help from other members and see how my cards are turning out to be.
smackie9 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 It doesn't have to be "exhausting" whatever that means. You have to remember there are a lot of girls that expect the guy to chase, but when you don't they try to get your attention, which she has done. It's working and in time she will take it a little further to get your attention. When she tries to get your attention, return it, then pull back. It's a dance.BUT in the mean time, keep your options open and hit on other girls that might be more receptive. Don't ever make this girl your priority, she is one of many and by carrying on with checkin out other girls will make her realize she isn't your priority.....she turned you down, she is gonna have to work for it now. This increases desirability...you desire more what you can't have. 1
La.Primavera Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 @la.primavera That's what I was thinking. I cant go 90 percent of the way for her to make just 10 percent of the effort. it needs to be half and half. Should I continue acting the way it has been since she declined going out? She already said no so you should feel obligated to keep pursuing her. So yeah, carry on as you are now. If she changes her mind she has to make an effort to get to know you better, if not then at least you didn't waste more time on her. There are always plenty more options out there.
Author dreamer2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Author Posted June 23, 2015 its been a little over a week since I shared my story. (Update): I went on a date earlier last week with a NEW girl. I believe the other girl knows about it because I had posted a photo of it on facebook.lol. (couldnt help it). Anyways.......we no longer talk anymore even though we work with each other. SIGH.
PogoStick Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 Who cares if you don't talk to her? Don't you like the new girl?
smackie9 Posted June 23, 2015 Posted June 23, 2015 its been a little over a week since I shared my story. (Update): I went on a date earlier last week with a NEW girl. I believe the other girl knows about it because I had posted a photo of it on facebook.lol. (couldnt help it). Anyways.......we no longer talk anymore even though we work with each other. SIGH. She's one of those that expects a guy to worship the ground she walks on before she will go out with them.....a guy has to prove his worth to her.....to hell with that, you have someone that isn't so.....exhausting lol.
Author dreamer2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Author Posted June 29, 2015 Hey guys, Sometimes don't you wish girls were just as simple as guys. Things would be so easier in the dating game right? anyways, I forgot about the old girl since I started dating a really good girl that got my FULL attention. I don't mean to sound like a jerk but when I started getting over the former girl, my attention decreased every day to a point I started ignoring her completely. I don't know why but it's like I didn't give a sh*t about her at all. She would text and I wouldn't reply, seek my attention and I would give her a one word reply, etc. This morning she comes into my office, "hey Ryan, can I ask you something?" "yea" I replied. "did i ever do anything to you? Disrespect you or anything like that?" she asks "no. Why?" I reply "you have been ignoring me and I just wanted to say I'm sorry" she says and leaves the office. Honestly, ignoring her was the best thing I did coz I don't know how I would have directed my mind somewhere else. Am I being an a** or should I continue with what I'm doing?
smackie9 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 You did nothing wrong, she is just thinking "But I thought you were my friend...." Some girls just don't get it. If you don't shell out, the guy isn't going to be interested in you, he has enough friends. You have a new girl, good for you. The other girl will figure it out on day, or possibly you will find time to enlighten her.
Author dreamer2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Author Posted June 29, 2015 @smackie9 Good points you got. I believe she knows there is someone else because I have caught her creeping on my fb profile (I have a photo of the new girl and I on a date). ........but like you said, I wasn't there trying to get anymore friends. 1
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