buzzman83 Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 I was in a serious relationship with my ex since last January 2004...... we got engaged in august and moved away from our home town for my job in October... in February everything all of a sudden fell apart in our relationship.... and we both moved back home to live with our respective parents. well everything got blown outta proportion and because of that her dad wouldn’t let us see each other or talk to each other.... im 21, and she’s 20 yrs old. Up until now our parents adored each of us. Anyways I finally saw her (she kept it secret form all of the ppl she knows) and talked to her 6 wks after we broke up. I had already known she was hanging out with another guy she kind of liked.... but I found out that it was getting serious and that they had had sex recently.... anyway I dot care bout that... but in the course of our convo I found out this - she still thinks about me everyday and loves me.... - she misses the time we shared. - She’s happy with this guy as she wasn’t happy the last few months of our relationship. - she likes him cuz hes a lot like she is makes her happy - if we had of talked sooner wed prob be together -she said there might be a future for us down the road.... anyway all of this makes me feel positive... about us getting back together. I mean im her 2nd longest relationship and she thought I was the one I KNOW she’s the one for me... and since we split we have both changed a lot for the better and I have to say I love her even more now cuz of the small things she’s changed. Anyway I love her to death im moving on in my life but unless it’s her I don’t want a relationship but I just can’t stop but thinking why did she jump into this other relationship???? I feel it wont last... but I don’t know she thinks there’s potential.... and ya... I mean were going to be good friends and start healing as friends and so the ball’s rolling if we do get back together but ya.... she’s said it not a rebound but im thinking it might be???? I mean she loves me and she’s likes this other guy and is spending all her time with him yet those small things she said to me above make me wonder if she is truly happy.... I mean ya .... I want her back..... we were happy I know we can be happy if we just talk about things... and I mean we did take several small baby steps to show trust and heal the other day like I get to see our puppy again now.... I mean I think about her all the time...... and im hoping that when we do the puppy classes for our dog we can work as a team, maybe take our dog for walks together more frequently as we did when I met her the other night, and she said she would prob accompany me for support to a course that I had committed to doing whether we were together or not.... I think those things might help us to rebuild and make our relationship stronger but ya... I keep wondering how long and if she’s going to realize that im better.... Should I do anything else or continue doing what I am doing and wait?I mean i keep wndering if shes just stilla little confused on what she really wants..... any thoughts on any of this?
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 She is happy with this guy, she is in a relationship with him, she has sex with him. As long as she is dating this other guy, you will want to ignore every single thing she says to you in terms of your relationship with her. Her words are telling you one thing but here is what you need to be listening to: her actions. When a girl says 'there may be a future for us' while she is happily dating someone else, then know that it means this: "I'm too spineless to tell you the truth because I don't want to hurt your feelings." I'm sure she enjoys keeping you around like that, but honestly - as long as she is dating this other guy, there's absolutely no reason you should still be in contact with her. There's no way you can truly be 'just friends' as long as you are in love with her.
ltomlinson81 Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 No offense, but if she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't be with someone else. She is just saying nice things to let you down easy. Don't wait around for her.
Author buzzman83 Posted April 28, 2005 Author Posted April 28, 2005 see i thought both of those things during the 6 weeks apart.... yet she said if she hadnt of met this guy or if we had of talked sooner thigns woudl be different.... i had all these thoughts going through my head about trust and honesty and shes was 100% honest with me on a lot of things the other day..... and as i said i wonder if shes just filling the void with someone else to make herself happy... as i mentioned her Dad lost it and interfereed a lot in what happened..... our breakup was messy because everything happened so quickly and she didnt really have control .... I mean i know we can be friends as we can and niether of us wants to lose the other totally out of our lives, and we also have a 6mth old puppy that we are sharing now...... I do believe she is happy right now..... but that "euphoric feelign" does wear off and i donno jsut the things she said to me and there were moments at dinner where i was lookign deep into her eyes and it felt liek i was staring into her soul where she was 2nd guessing herself...... cuz she was happy no doubt about it but there were moments where she wodnered about us.... and said thigns..... i mean we were btoh engaged for the first time to each other.... i fail to see hwo shes jsut let go so quickly..... like i said her dad had at lest 50% to do with it...... but ya ....... i think this is a rebound or might end up as one what u think??? i mean ya so shes had sex with him ive neded up haviong sex with someone else too?? i mean... weve been apart 2 months now and liek i said she said shes "happy with him because she wasnt happy at the end of our realtionship" (we were havign a rough time so far away from home and it put stress and distance between us) so i mean ya...... i know she was honest with me and told me the truth..... i belive her when she said there might be future for us down the road...... i mean if it doesnt work with thsi guy she said wed get back together maybe....and liek i also said shes comitted to attendign the course i promised her id do and were gonna work on some of our issues as friends....... i mean i kidna got the mixed message the other day that shes wants to be woth me jsut nto at this moment cuz she wantrs to be happy... and i have to also say that thsi time apart HAS been good for btoh of us weve chagned and ya......
SallyJessyRaphael Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 I did the same thing to my ex, strung him along in case I broke up with my current beau. you're a loser if u keep her pulling on that short leash u have on. move on, find someone else, because SHE HAS! Adios
ltomlinson81 Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 It really is simple: she would be with you if she wanted to. You are being very optimistic by looking at the positive side of things, but it seems like you are reading into things a little bit too much and are convincing yourself of something that is not true. If she wants to be with you and is second-guessing herself like you said, she will come back to you. The ball is in her court now, not yours.
Author buzzman83 Posted April 29, 2005 Author Posted April 29, 2005 yes i am moving on ... as ive said im just not ready to move into another realtionship right now if i find someone and we click then ill go from there...... i dont have a short leash i just care about her lots.... hence why i want to patch thigns up even as friends...... i mean heck she called me today unexpectingly and i could sense soemthign i dont knwo what but she seemed down.... and ya.... i had asked her if she wanted to get together and she said yes but she wasnt feelign too well..... (i know she was telling me the truth) so ya and like i had said we had decided thst even as friends we'd take baby steps to repair and fix thigns and ya... so i donno if we dont get back together and i find someone i wont wait but like i said right now unless we got back together i dont wanna get into a realitonship as im not ready im still healing.... i just know that after i ended it last time cuz of a fight ....i wanted her back and it took her a week b4 she came around and wanted me back too....... this time i made her unhappy and screwed up and we had a BIG fight and ya some other things along the way taht were both of our faults contributed but ya..... hence part of the reason i think with a bt of time a part she'll come around???? i mean i think this time apart has been good for both of us liek i said b4 cuz weve cahgned in positive ways... and ya... ANYONE THINK THAT SHES IN A REBOUND????? i mean to start seinga nother guy a week after u end an ENGAGEMENT????? with someone she said she wanted to be with forever?? and so forth?
mustangsally Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 ANYONE THINK THAT SHES IN A REBOUND????? i mean to start seinga nother guy a week after u end an ENGAGEMENT????? with someone she said she wanted to be with forever?? and so forth? well yeah totally. But she's still with him. Its her way of healing. Will she change her mind? I don't know. As I tell everyone I know "I'm not Miss Cleo."
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