ConfusedInOC Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Well, here's her answer. This is what she wouldn't tell me but she did tell a mutual friend. The mutual friend at least had the heart to forward the email. Guess I didn't tell you...and he obviously hasn't bugged you lately....he & I aren't together any more....I only tell you because you asked....so don't go telling him that I was waving it in your face or anything....I wouldn't think that he would contact you anymore, it was super hard to do, I do love him deeply as a person, I'm just not IN love with him. I feel awful but I am 100% confident that it was the right thing to do. Anyway, I broke it off last week....the relationship ultimately didn't sit right with me and I've been hanging on for a year thinking that maybe my feelings would change, but they didn't, so it was time. Can anyone loan me a large rock to crawl under, please???
Illusion24 Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Please don't hate me...but that's the same reason I left my ex bf. It was hard, but I had to do it. He's 19 and I'm 23, I felt our lives were so different and I wasn't "willing" to wait and put my life on hold because of him. I'm not old, but I'm not getting any younger. I realized that I cared for him very deeply but I just wasn't romanticly IN love with him. Do you know the difference between love and IN love?? If you do then you would understand, if you don't you'll always think it was your fault or their was something maybe you could of done differently. But no matter what, that's the way I felt and she feels. I could understand exactly where she's coming from and I've also in my life been in your shoes. It's hard on both, but that's love for your a$$. I'm starting to realize that he deserves someone to love him the way he should be loved. I unfortanetly couldn't love him the same way he loved me, and it wasn't fair to him if I went along. So, raise your head up and realize it's not you, be the person you are and live your life knowing you did your best. She'll always care and be their for you if she truly cares. Hope this helps a little...
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 28, 2005 Author Posted April 28, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia Yep. And keep in mind, during this "year" she talks about: 1. She cheated on me and lied about it. 2. She broke up with me twice. 3. She spent 99% of her time at home, away from me and in the books. 4. She didn't give up or risk anything for me. When you want to TRY a relationship, aren't you supposed to really put some effort into it? She thinks hanging out one day every two weeks was "working" on it. I do think she will one day regret the decision.
whichwayisup Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 I'm sorry, but I guess now you know what's what. NC probably will be easier for you. Decide that, make your mind STICK to that and soon you will feel alot better. Don't rush, feel what you're feeling and grieve the loss...But don't stay sad, down and out for too long. Keep venting too!
Illusion24 Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Yep. And keep in mind, during this "year" she talks about : 1. She cheated on me and lied about it. 2. She broke up with me twice. 3. She spent 99% of her time at home, away from me and in the books. 4. She didn't give up or risk anything for me. When you want to TRY a relationship, aren't you supposed to really put some effort into it? She thinks hanging out one day every two weeks was "working" on it. I do think she will one day regret the decision. Now that I didn't do any of!!!!!! I never cheated on him, I never left him, always was with him, I gave up a lot for him
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC When you want to TRY a relationship, aren't you supposed to really put some effort into it? Yes, and maybe that was her problem - when it reached a point where it required effort and 'trying' she didn't want to be with someone she had to 'work at' wanting to be with. This break is like a double edged blade: the cut that mangled your heart, is also the cut that will free you from her and allow you to move on to find a new situation. Who knows... maybe one day you will find someone with whom love flows effortlessly and naturally, and you'll look back and wonder why you were so willing to 'try' with this girl. Then you'll thank what ever lucky stars there are that it didn't work out with her. You won't believe that now, and I know you don't want to so early on in the heartbreak but as you allow her infection to run out of your heart things will become more clear, and you'll be able to give it another try in a new and different situation.
UCFKevin Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 What exactly were you hoping for? You guys are broken up already, I don't see how this can make anything worse, she just told the truth, and to someone else, I might add, not even you. That says a lot about her character, that she can't even explain herself to you. Just say this to yourself over and over again. She's not the person you fell in love with.
NTB Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Just say this to yourself over and over again. She's not the person you fell in love with. agree you deserve better bro, and better will come along
Marshbear Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Well, here's her answer. This is what she wouldn't tell me but she did tell a mutual friend. The mutual friend at least had the heart to forward the email. Can anyone loan me a large rock to crawl under, please??? WHAT A BIT*H!!!!! WEll, you did want closure. I would just be glad you didn't marry her and then find out she's not in-love with you.
Corelli Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 You need to accept it - she's just not that into you. Grieve, be pissed/angry and move on. You're wasting good time dwelling on her and something that doesn't sound like it'll work out. I just broke up my my guy - although I know I did the right thing - it's hard. You get used to someone and it's hard to let go but you gotta go thru the motions. You'll live thru this - just don't sit around thinking about it more than you have to. Suck it up and move on.
debs Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 OCO.... Your angry, hurt and humiliated. Rightfully so! Please read this it is an old one and yes it has been posted on LS before.... There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. Don't try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. I cannot begin to tell you how to get over the break up of someone you loved and shared your heart and soul with. All of us on LS have our individual ways of coping. We will share when asked. But please hear me when I say this...you will go on, you will love again. In the mean time know you are important to each of us who hang on LS! And we care!
Marshbear Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. Don't try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. That is beautiful. Thanks for sharing Debs.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 28, 2005 Author Posted April 28, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever Now that I didn't do any of!!!!!! I never cheated on him, I never left him, always was with him, I gave up a lot for him She risked NOTHING for me.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 28, 2005 Author Posted April 28, 2005 Originally posted by UCFKevin What exactly were you hoping for? You guys are broken up already, I don't see how this can make anything worse, she just told the truth, and to someone else, I might add, not even you. That says a lot about her character, that she can't even explain herself to you. Just say this to yourself over and over again. She's not the person you fell in love with. She said this to me in a roundabout way. Never on paper though. I hate seeing it on paper....
whichwayisup Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 She risked NOTHING for me. Even more reason to know that as painful as this is, it's the best thing for you. Why have hang to her heart when she didn't to yours. Debs, that is awesome and SO true.
purple21 Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Thanks Deb - I printed it out so I can read it when I need to. Stay strong - COC - it will get better one day - we are all here for you
tanbark813 Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Hey man, sorry that you're hurting right now, but this can't be that much of a surprise. People were telling you six months ago exactly what was contained in that email. I wouldn't sweat it too much though. I think everyone on here--myself included--has fallen victim to not listening to objective advice when we should have. Live and learn...
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 28, 2005 Author Posted April 28, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Hey man, sorry that you're hurting right now, but this can't be that much of a surprise. People were telling you six months ago exactly what was contained in that email. I wouldn't sweat it too much though. I think everyone on here--myself included--has fallen victim to not listening to objective advice when we should have. Live and learn... Oh I know. I am just the kind that doesn't let go of someone when he loves them deeply. I frankly don't know what she did to earn my love....she certainly didn't deserve it.
Fallen_Angel Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Originally posted by debs There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. Don't try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. That was absolutely beautiful. Thank you SO much for re-posting. I think I too will read those words over and over until they sink in. We are all here for you COC...be strong!
Author ConfusedInOC Posted April 28, 2005 Author Posted April 28, 2005 Originally posted by Fallen_Angel That was absolutely beautiful. Thank you SO much for re-posting. I think I too will read those words over and over until they sink in. We are all here for you COC...be strong! Thanks. I've never loved anyone quite like this. "There's nothing more painful than unrequited love...." or something to that effect.
Naive Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Hey man, sorry that you're hurting right now, but this can't be that much of a surprise. People were telling you six months ago exactly what was contained in that email. Exactly!!!! Just brush it off and learn from it. I know it hurts but time will definitely help. Once a good girl comes around you will learn to value her and appreciate her thanks to this girl. It will make your next relationship sweet because you will be happy with someone that will want you in THAT way.
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