ThisisIt606 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 I posted about this guy before. Had 4 dates that he has paid for, I've offered mult times but he refuses. He's very kind and gentlemen like, good conversationalist and self described as an introvert and a bit of a nerd. He's also very athletic and enjoys watching professional sports / playing pick up games. Extremely fit and health conscious. He verbalized the times we saw eachother as " dates". He's often then one to text first ( I also initiate) and we have texted for hours. On our dates he usually greets and ends with a kiss but not much physical contact in between. Some guiding be on small of back or leg touching. At the movies I angled my body towards him and our shoulders were touching but he didn't make any moves. I was thinking he might not feel or what a sexual chemistry. So after the movies I was shocked when he said he would drive me home, go for drinks or I could go to his place to binge watch this tv show we both like. I chose drinks and I paid for first round. He bought me a 2nd while he was still working on his first but the bar tender took his away/ thought he was done. We talked about all sorts of things college, injuries/medical things we've experienced, TV show we both like, events we recently went to etc. When we left he put his arm around me and I put my arm around him. We walked to his car/ he opened and closed car door for me. We started making out when we got in the car. He seems to save the more intimate moments for private rather that PDA which is fine with me, bc I don't feel comfortable kissing heavy in public. He said I was more than welcome to go back with him and he could drive me home in AM or he could drive me home now. He gave me his phone to put in my address. I started to type it in but then said he could drive me home in the AM. I just told him I needed to stop at a pharmacy for contact solution, he didn't mind and we stopped. When I got to his place he gave me a short tour of it and I complimented him on it. He asked if I wanted anything to eat/ drink ( non alcoholic). We watched a bit of tv while cuddling on the couch and kissing. Things then went to 2nd base and he picked me up and carried me into bed room. From there we fooled around a bit and I asked if he had a condom and we had sex. I told him he had a really nice body and he complemented me on certain things as well. I told him it was getting a bit too much and I needed a break ( he's really energetic when it comes to sex) he said that was fine and immediately stopped . He said he's a little timid most of the time but outgoing when it counts ( bedroom I assume). I really enjoyed it. He's a big cuddler and wanted to sleep in a very close embrace. Same cuddling/ hold in the morning. We had sex one more time then. The evening before he knew I had a performance and a makeup appointment to get to so he said he could drive me home. I set and early-ish alarm. He offered me breakfast and made me coffee although he didn't have any. I ate, we cuddled on the couch watching TV and I said I should get going and he drove me home. He kept joking how he was so tired and he blames me, I said well I blame you ( up late with sex). When he dropped me off we kissed goodbye and he said he'd talk to me later and good luck with my show. He did follow though and texted that night asking how the performance went. I told him it went well thanks and asked how the rest of his day was. I told him how the makeup artist got eye makeup on my contact/ in my eye. He said hat sounded awful and asked out I fixed it. I sent him a pic of my face all done up and he said Oh nice you look great:) But that's also true of before the makeup I replied aw, thanks He asked; You doing anything for the evening or just having a quiet night? I told him I just had dinner with a friend and I was waiting for her outside watching the boats bc she was talking to someone. He agreed it was a nice night. I told him I wish I had a boat but the sailboats I rent out will do. He joke, they let you take them out at night do they? I told him thankfully no bc I would crash and he joked; Haha crashing moving vehicles seems to be a common theme with you (told him about a few small crashes and near crashes I got into when I was learning to drive and sail on a previous date) I asked what he was doing and he said: Admittedly I am too tired to do anything. I'm having a quiet night watching the hockey game I told him I was looking forward to getting home for relaxing and sleep. He said he was looking forward to sleep bc SOMEONE kept me up to some ungodly hour I replied sorry (but not) with a smirk then kiss face He said Lol yeah truth be told I'm not THAT upset about it At that point my friend came back and she drove me home. That was also the end of the convo. My Q is was it ok to end on a " sexual note" with that texts. My ideal was that he did text me first like he said he would after we had sex and ask me out my performance ( which is what happened). I like him and def want to see him again. Does it seem like he wants the same? I'm going to text him tonight bc I have a funny YouTube video to share with him that I think he'll like. Should I wait for him to ask me to hang out again or should I ask? I wanted to invite him over next weekend to hang out at the pool or go kayaking and then cook dinner together. Should I just suggest this or wait until he suggests a plan first?
PogoStick Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Why wouldn't' you ask him out? Sheesh. What does a guy have to do? 1
Redhead14 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I posted about this guy before. Had 4 dates that he has paid for, I've offered mult times but he refuses. He's very kind and gentlemen like, good conversationalist and self described as an introvert and a bit of a nerd. He's also very athletic and enjoys watching professional sports / playing pick up games. Extremely fit and health conscious. He verbalized the times we saw eachother as " dates". He's often then one to text first ( I also initiate) and we have texted for hours. On our dates he usually greets and ends with a kiss but not much physical contact in between. Some guiding be on small of back or leg touching. At the movies I angled my body towards him and our shoulders were touching but he didn't make any moves. I was thinking he might not feel or what a sexual chemistry. So after the movies I was shocked when he said he would drive me home, go for drinks or I could go to his place to binge watch this tv show we both like. I chose drinks and I paid for first round. He bought me a 2nd while he was still working on his first but the bar tender took his away/ thought he was done. We talked about all sorts of things college, injuries/medical things we've experienced, TV show we both like, events we recently went to etc. When we left he put his arm around me and I put my arm around him. We walked to his car/ he opened and closed car door for me. We started making out when we got in the car. He seems to save the more intimate moments for private rather that PDA which is fine with me, bc I don't feel comfortable kissing heavy in public. He said I was more than welcome to go back with him and he could drive me home in AM or he could drive me home now. He gave me his phone to put in my address. I started to type it in but then said he could drive me home in the AM. I just told him I needed to stop at a pharmacy for contact solution, he didn't mind and we stopped. When I got to his place he gave me a short tour of it and I complimented him on it. He asked if I wanted anything to eat/ drink ( non alcoholic). We watched a bit of tv while cuddling on the couch and kissing. Things then went to 2nd base and he picked me up and carried me into bed room. From there we fooled around a bit and I asked if he had a condom and we had sex. I told him he had a really nice body and he complemented me on certain things as well. I told him it was getting a bit too much and I needed a break ( he's really energetic when it comes to sex) he said that was fine and immediately stopped . He said he's a little timid most of the time but outgoing when it counts ( bedroom I assume). I really enjoyed it. He's a big cuddler and wanted to sleep in a very close embrace. Same cuddling/ hold in the morning. We had sex one more time then. The evening before he knew I had a performance and a makeup appointment to get to so he said he could drive me home. I set and early-ish alarm. He offered me breakfast and made me coffee although he didn't have any. I ate, we cuddled on the couch watching TV and I said I should get going and he drove me home. He kept joking how he was so tired and he blames me, I said well I blame you ( up late with sex). When he dropped me off we kissed goodbye and he said he'd talk to me later and good luck with my show. He did follow though and texted that night asking how the performance went. I told him it went well thanks and asked how the rest of his day was. I told him how the makeup artist got eye makeup on my contact/ in my eye. He said hat sounded awful and asked out I fixed it. I sent him a pic of my face all done up and he said Oh nice you look great:) But that's also true of before the makeup I replied aw, thanks He asked; You doing anything for the evening or just having a quiet night? I told him I just had dinner with a friend and I was waiting for her outside watching the boats bc she was talking to someone. He agreed it was a nice night. I told him I wish I had a boat but the sailboats I rent out will do. He joke, they let you take them out at night do they? I told him thankfully no bc I would crash and he joked; Haha crashing moving vehicles seems to be a common theme with you (told him about a few small crashes and near crashes I got into when I was learning to drive and sail on a previous date) I asked what he was doing and he said: Admittedly I am too tired to do anything. I'm having a quiet night watching the hockey game I told him I was looking forward to getting home for relaxing and sleep. He said he was looking forward to sleep bc SOMEONE kept me up to some ungodly hour I replied sorry (but not) with a smirk then kiss face He said Lol yeah truth be told I'm not THAT upset about it At that point my friend came back and she drove me home. That was also the end of the convo. My Q is was it ok to end on a " sexual note" with that texts. My ideal was that he did text me first like he said he would after we had sex and ask me out my performance ( which is what happened). I like him and def want to see him again. Does it seem like he wants the same? I'm going to text him tonight bc I have a funny YouTube video to share with him that I think he'll like. Should I wait for him to ask me to hang out again or should I ask? I wanted to invite him over next weekend to hang out at the pool or go kayaking and then cook dinner together. Should I just suggest this or wait until he suggests a plan first? You've had 4 very nice dates, you became intimate, he continued to contact you. It's perfectly appropriate for you to begin initiating dates with him now. I'd call him, invite him for dinner and have a great time During the first few dates, was there any conversation about what each of you wants in general out of your dating experiences? In other words, is he looking for a relationship or just casual dating scenario? Do you both want the same thing? That is something you should address at some point soon. And, now that you've been intimate, some kind of exclusivity talk should happen soon as well. I'd try to leave it to him to bring up, but if you continue on further and are being intimate, don't let it go on too long. You don't want to find out that he just wants casual and is sleeping with other people when you want something more. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 TL;DR. I stopped at the part where you have had 4 dates & he paid for all of them. Yes, it's your turn to make the 1st move. Since you have already had sex, invite him over to your place for dinner. If you can't cook, get take out. 2
Lois_Griffin Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I'm going to text him tonight bc I have a funny YouTube video to share with him that I think he'll like. Should I wait for him to ask me to hang out again or should I ask?? Why is it physically impossible for you two to actually TALK on the phone - like two adult human beings - instead of texting each other like two socially inept teenagers? I'm dead serious. 1
Lansing Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Why is it physically impossible for you two to actually TALK on the phone - like two adult human beings - instead of texting each other like two socially inept teenagers? I'm dead serious. That is what the world has come to nowadays. If you call someone people are "shocked"... How quickly things have changed. But, I agree, better to talk on phone or have another date. If he hasn't asked you out again yet, then, yeah, why not suggest something (doesn't have to be dinner at your place... just something simple even). 1
aloneinaz Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 That is what the world has come to nowadays. If you call someone people are "shocked"... How quickly things have changed. But, I agree, better to talk on phone or have another date. If he hasn't asked you out again yet, then, yeah, why not suggest something (doesn't have to be dinner at your place... just something simple even). I agree. Texting has caused a lot of laziness in people. It's also good for some who are not overly confident or comfortable in talking to people. When I was OLD, we'd reach the point of giving out phone numbers. We'd then transition from emailing on the dating sites to texting. If I felt like the texting was going good and I enjoyed the texting conversation, I'd call them, sometimes 30 minutes after the texting started. I was SHOCKED how many women were flabbergasted that I had the confidence to actually have a phone conversation. I was on the site to meet people in person on dates, not develop pen pals. To the OP.. ABSOLUTELY pick up the phone and call him. It will show you're VERY confident in yourself. Tell him you want him over at your place for dinner. As a guy, I'd love that from someone I was starting to get more serious with. 1
Author ThisisIt606 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 Thanks everyone I did end up asking him out again. He replied along the lines of " yes absolutely :)" I made a suggestion of 2 outdoor activities and we could decided closer to the weekend. I plan to invite him for dinner after the outdoor activity. I just didn't mention dinner yet bc I need to think of a menu/ make sure I can cook it! He also said, which pleasantly surprised me that he is free pretty much any day after work this week if I wanted to get together then too. He always seems very open with his schedule for me which is nice ( and makes me think he's not seeing others) so we will be meeting afterwork for dinner out I assume. In addition to the weekend date. I know I have to nail down the exclusive thing, we haven't talked about it yet. I definitely do want to be exclusive but just not sure how to bring it up... Maybe just ask if he's dating any other people now that we've been intimate? 1
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Don't make yourself crazy about the menu. You are not expected to be a Stepford wife & give him a glorious multi course dining experience. Simple is best. Make a salad. A salad in a bag or one you buy from the take out bar at the store is fine. Grill or bake a chicken breast. I marinade them in a plastic bag with a little Italian dressing. No big deal. Make some rice & dump in a good bit of salsa, viola fancy rice! Get a take out rotisserie chicken if you really can't cook. Make brownies or buy fruit for dessert, even if you offer a bowl of ice cream . . . the chocolate syrup & whipped cream could come in handy later.
PogoStick Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 You should tell him what you want out of the relationship. Why wouldn't you? If he wants something different would you want to know now or in 6 months? As simple as: How do you feel about being exclusive? Naturally after he talks you should express how you feel about it.
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