Sorry its long but I needed to say it.

[bleedingjelly]

okay I am confused and I sort of need direction. I have been reading posts and have been gathering that I am in a situation that occurs everyday to millions of people. Even knowing this I need a place to vent my feelings. So here goes.

 

This girl and I have been dating for 3 years 4 months. We were engaged and I loved her and she loved me. We got together in the worst way though. She was having problems with her boyfriend. I was around, I talked to her, she ended up breaking up with him, we start to have great sex like 3 times a day for a month, then we decide to go out.

 

In the first year of our relationship she was always talkign to this other guy, a guy she liked at the same time as me in the begining. she would flirt real bad with him like sit on his lap, play with his nipples, things like that. I got angry and yelled. I was upset and jealous. She kept doing this. until one day she just stopped. I asked her if she ever kissed him or had sex with him and she swears she didnt. I believe her.

 

Second year of our relationship she devlops a crush on another guy. I was away for an entire summer. I talked to her online and called her on the phone and all she would talk about it is her new friend. I visited her every weekend when I had off and I drove 68 miles one way to see her. We would spend the entire weekend together. But she would spend most of the time talkign about her friend. I got mad and yelled. She stopped talking about him, he got married a year later. and she danced with him on his wedding day and cried on his shirt. i didnt knwo what to make of this. so i let it go.

 

Then things were going good for awile, we had a house, 2 dogs, big fish tank, life seemed to be in order. She gets a job at a local food store. She starts to hang out with a guy there all the time.

 

now this is where the confusion and pain really starts.

 

I was working in a garage late nights and only sleeping 3 hours a night. I would get up at like 8 leave the house and come back at like 3 in the morning. This was going on for 3 weeks, and during this entire three weeks all she did was hangout at her friends place. Well one friday night I came home late as usual, and there she was sitting playing cards with him and a mutual girl friend. I got upset because the house was a mess and my parents were coming up to visit on saturday. I havent been home to make a mess and I have eaten one meal every 3 days (I was on a strict deadline and my project group was there doing the same). I did not make any of the mess at the house. So I got cranky she gets cranky at me and says that we havent been getting along for awile all we have been doing is fighting and says she wants a break. I say ok. She still stays with me for like a week and she hangs out with the guy friend all the time she told me they kissed. I was like you have to move out I cant deal with this. She says she has nowhere to go. I say ask your friend if you can stay with him. I make her ask and say she must be gone before I get back from my meeting. he says okay she moves out. its been about 5 days. I am takign care of the dogs and such for her. I know I should just avoid her, but I have gone out of my way to visit her 3 times. She has told me they made out. I am upset about this natually even thoguh we are on a break. I still love her. She says she still loves me she is just confused. I think she wants to experience life have sex with random people ya know the usual. but the wierd thing about it I feel is that durign this entire time I didnt yell at her about it and she just kept on doing things.

 

I understand I should give her space. Give her a chance to miss me. but it is so hard. I dont feel like hanging out with friend all I can do is miss her. I have started to pray to god to give me a sign is she wants me back or if she wants me to go. I am not a religious person and I will argue with anyone about how i think it is a cult. but I just needed some one to talk to and he seemed like a good choice.

 

What I would like to know is should I take her back. How did you guys get over things like this, like what helped you move on. What were some signs that your significant other was coming back or leaving.

 

and on a side note there was fighting and arguing we have different views on things but I never took them as hating each other i viewed it as we always could talk about something. we wouldnt get bored with each other, and we would have to work more with the give and take. im sure it led to retarded arguments that got us unncesarrily mad but we always seemed to work it out. jsut to let you know im positive i have said and done thigns that has made her extremely upset. and she ahs done the same to me. but i want you to see the situation as i see it.

[westernxer]

Can't see your situation as you see it... you're in love with her and we are not.

 

She's not ready for monogamy, so let her go.

 

Or just keep having hot sex without any commitment. She's good for the former, but not the latter.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

Why do you have to work so much? It's obvious that you don't spend enough time with her and she has turned to other men to fulfill her needs. Neither of you are ready for this relationship.