emi Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 So i have been seeing this guy. Good relationship , doesnt have any major red flags, atleast not yet but : Yesterday afternoon, he told me he was horny. I said ok after i done my stuff we can have some sexy time. But that night i was busy study so i told him we couls try again tomorrow. He said he gonna watch porn then Da heck?
carhill Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Other than telling you about his porn use, sounds like a normal young guy to me. Maybe the younger guys these days simply share more details, IDK. Guys do what they do. 1
Author emi Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 Other than telling you about his porn use, sounds like a normal young guy to me. Maybe the younger guys these days simply share more details, IDK. Guys do what they do. When hes busy do i watch porn instead? No
J21 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 When hes busy do i watch porn instead? No Should it always be a tit for that? 1
Keenly Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 So is he just supposed to not do anything when he is horny and you're not available? Be happy he trusts you enough to be that open about his porn use with you. But so not for a second think that a relationship entitles you to a monopoly on his Sexuality. He is free to do with his body and his eyes as he pleases. 9
Torii Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 (edited) So is he just supposed to not do anything when he is horny and you're not available? Be happy he trusts you enough to be that open about his porn use with you. But so not for a second think that a relationship entitles you to a monopoly on his Sexuality. He is free to do with his body and his eyes as he pleases. I agree with Keenly. So many women are concerned about their man being into pornography. So what; it's FAKE and has nothing to do with you being unattractive to your man. Just because you're his girlfriend, doesn't mean he only has sexual needs when you're around. He's gonna have them regardless, and he's gonna do what he wants to satisfy himself when you're not there. Women do it too, don't be so ashamed or embarrassed admit to him that you watch pornography. It's normal. Edited June 14, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed comment
elaine567 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 When hes busy do i watch porn instead? No It is a very good point, but a point missed on those brought up to think porn is fine and is something women just need to put up with. He can spend hours looking at naked women, he can want to f*ck them, he can dream about f*cking them, he can crush on them, he can even talk to them via webcams, he can spend hours on sites that basically denigrate and degrade women, but if you dare to linger too long talking to that male co worker, you are in BIG trouble as you may be in an EA. 3
carhill Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 When hes busy do i watch porn instead? No You could call up a girlfriend and go out to the club for some drinks and dancing. You could read a classic novel. You could knit. Essentially, you could do anything you want to do. Actually, I encourage you to do this. Relationships are beneficial to both partners and choice is a part of that benefit. If the minds meet on choices, they do. If not, not. Relationships are always voluntary so no one is enslaved to another if they don't want to be with them. If he's horny and uses porn when you're unavailable and this is unacceptable to you, acknowledge that and, if unresolvable, then move on. 2
Redemption04 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 So i have been seeing this guy. Good relationship , doesnt have any major red flags, atleast not yet but : Yesterday afternoon, he told me he was horny. I said ok after i done my stuff we can have some sexy time. But that night i was busy study so i told him we couls try again tomorrow. He said he gonna watch porn then Da heck? I'm sorry..Why is this a problem? Would you rather he go cheat on you to get sex when you're unavailable, instead? Men watch porn. Why is this a big deal to so many women? I'll never understand. What is he suppose to do when you're unavailable? Just not get off? Is this the kind of women men have to deal with?
Keenly Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Since when did "I don't do that, therefore you shouldn't be allowed to either" become a valid reason for anything? That is called behavior control.
Taramere Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 SBut that night i was busy study so i told him we couls try again tomorrow. He said he gonna watch porn then Da heck? Does his "then" mean "okay I'll watch porn tonight while you're studying" or does it mean "I can't have sex with you when you're free tomorrow, because I have already made an appointment with porn"? Either way, it would be a tad more info than I would personally require...but if he meant the latter, then I could definitely see your problem.
Author emi Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 Im not saying because i dont do "that" he doesnt allow to do " that". I told him from the start im ok with him watching porn ( and it is pure honesty). The reason im posting just simply im afraid he may doesnt get his urge under control and need another way out other than porn
preraph Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 You just have to realize that guys masturbate very regularly, whether they are having sex with a steady partner or not. It's natural. Now, too much watching porn can have some bad consequences. But as long as he's not doing it very often, shouldn't be a problem as far as him getting off goes. (they get into a routine and it can render them useless). As long as he's not comparing you to these porn women and wanting you to look and act like them and only does it once in a while as far as watching porn (he should masturbate all he wants - it will get less frequently with age), then don't worry about it. Guys are in a better mood and less likely to cheat as long as they are getting off regularly, so masturbation is good for that.
toscaroscura Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 It is a very good point, but a point missed on those brought up to think porn is fine and is something women just need to put up with. He can spend hours looking at naked women, he can want to f*ck them, he can dream about f*cking them, he can crush on them, he can even talk to them via webcams, he can spend hours on sites that basically denigrate and degrade women, but if you dare to linger too long talking to that male co worker, you are in BIG trouble as you may be in an EA. To me, as long as I feel loved and cherished by my man, and our sex life is healthy and enthusiastic, and he doesn't choose porn over sex with me, I have no problem with porn use. What you've mentioned above crosses that line and would not be acceptable to me nor should it be acceptable to OP, but it seems like, from her post, that he only used it to rub one out. Plus the OP was clearly his first choice for sex. And that level of jealousy from a man, hoo boy! Those are the types of men who get jealous of vibrators.
CarrieT Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 When hes busy do i watch porn instead? No You aren't a guy. And why should he act the way you act? Or - better yet - why should he NOT react in alliance with how you believe he should be acting? He said he was horny. You put him on hold. He has nothing else better to do so why now whack one out in the meantime? 2
Gary S Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Guys should not be looking at other girls when they have a girlfriend, this includes porn. She said they would get together the next day, that's reasonable. 1
toscaroscura Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Guys should not be looking at other girls when they have a girlfriend, this includes porn. She said they would get together the next day, that's reasonable. You really are a sweetheart, Gary. 2
Gary S Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 ^^^that's a nice thing to say, thank you. I love you too
TheGuard13 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 (edited) So i have been seeing this guy. Good relationship , doesnt have any major red flags, atleast not yet but : Yesterday afternoon, he told me he was horny. I said ok after i done my stuff we can have some sexy time. But that night i was busy study so i told him we couls try again tomorrow. He said he gonna watch porn then Da heck? Could be a couple things. This is one of the few subjects men speak in "code" about. He could be expressing sexual frustration and saying that you're not taking care of his needs, so he's going to take care of himself, and implying that he may not be available for you sexually later/tomorrow because of this. My money's on that he was really horny, really wanted sex, and you, having essentially promised him sex later that day, then later that day reneged on it and said "tomorrow". He, frustrated, pointed out that he was going to go watch porn. There'd be no real reason for him to tell you that he was going to watch porn if he wasn't frustrated that you were denying him sex. Unless he tells you his every thought and action. And yes, it's reasonable to say "We can get together tomorrow". It's a little less reasonable to push sex back, then push it back again. That tends to annoy the crap out of men with decent sex drives. Edited June 14, 2015 by TheGuard13 1
Keenly Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Guys should not be looking at other girls when they have a girlfriend, this includes porn. She said they would get together the next day, that's reasonable. Unrealistic. People fantasize about people. Whether its a girl you saw walking down the street or an porn star. Men do it. Women do it. Everyone does it We just hate on men for it. 1
GemmaUK Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 So he has achieved making you annoyed by his announcement then. I don't give a hoot if a guy of mine watches porn unless it hinders our sex life (never happened to me). I am happy to share the experience. If he is off to watch on his own and tells me as a guilt trip that's damned un-classy! Some men need to know when to just not say anything instead of making it obvious the RS is all about them. Lol! 1
PogoStick Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 When hes busy do i watch porn instead? No Your loss.
Emmie83 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 (edited) I don't see anything wrong with that. Everyone has needs to be met. It's not like he's out cheating! He's horny and it's completely harmless. I have a big exam today and have been stressed out and studying non stop...my partner would obviously prefer to have sex with me....but I'm completely fine with him getting off to porn in the interim. If you feel secure within your relationship, then just accept it as his needs are being met and it's only visual. Again, it's harmless. Be confident Miss xx Edited June 14, 2015 by Emmie83
Lernaean_Hydra Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 I'm really just not seeing the issue here. He opted to watch porn at a time when you were unavailable to have sex with him. That's perfectly reasonable IMO and not at all out of line. If you really expect your mate to not achieve any sexual gratification outside of the times you decide are acceptable and can meet his needs you're in for a surprise. 3
Recommended Posts