sandylee1 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 I was talking with a friend about how I find a lot of women lack appropriate boundaries were men are concerned. She then told me about a group of moms in her child's school, who were smitten by the good looks of one of the dads. They would say 'Hi gorgeous' 'hello handsome ' and a couple outright flirted with him. Of course loving the attention he didn't say anything to stop it, but his 8 year old daughter told all the women that they shouldn't be speaking to a married man like that, as it was wrong. They were pretty stunned with it, but it stopped from then onwards. One of the women actually said "little Chloe put us in our place". I thought it was so brave of her, but felt it was a terrible sign of the times that a little kid had to effectively put a stop to the poor boundaries here. If I was her mom, I'd be so proud that my little girl at that age , had the good sense to recognise this and had the courage to speak to a group of moms like this. What do you think? 7
salparadise Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 If "hi gorgeous" and "hello handsome" is not outright flirting, then what the hell were the others doing? I find it repulsive to see grown women, mothers of young children in front of their kids no less, throwing themselves at some guy because he's good looking or rich or whatever... let me guess, somewhere in New Jersey? Guy wearing gold chains and reeking of cologne? 5
carhill Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 It's a well-known fact that young girls own their father's heart so the young lady was patrolling her own fences, not necessarily being an enlightened advocate for fidelity. 9
Author sandylee1 Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 (edited) let me guess, somewhere in New Jersey? Guy wearing gold chains and reeking of cologne? No, actually it's in the UK. Those women without boundaries are everywhere. ETA Carhill - The girl knew her mom wouldn't like it and actually confided as such to my friend's daughter , so it wasn't just about being daddy's little girl. She also saw that the other moms never did this when her parents were together at school. Kids can be pretty smart. Edited June 14, 2015 by sandylee1 Eta 1
autumnnight Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 That's just...gross. Bravo little girl! Although I hope she also gave Daddy a Gibbs slap for just siting there eating up the attention. 1
preraph Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Those moms are jackasses doing that around kids or doing it at all. Great role modeling! 2
Radu Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 The kid had more common sense than her own dad. I love that. Seeing as how it was in the UK, i am left wondering if it was a boy who did that, for his dad ... would the reactions have been the same ? What i'm trying to get at is that these women were completely out of control and they met the only socially acceptable force strong enough to oppose them, his daughter. I wonder if the force known as 'his son' would have been socially acceptably strong enough to pull it off. 1
newmoon Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 (edited) i would think the dad is talking about the women at home and little ears are saying his (or his wife's) words. Edited June 14, 2015 by newmoon 5
Author sandylee1 Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 i would think the dad is talking about the women at home and little ears are saying his (or his wife's) words. You could very have a point there, I never thought of that .
No Limit Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 I would be embarrassed if my daughter would have to keep my partner in line. 1
StanMusial Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Desperate old bags. At least wait until the kids are out of earshot. In 10 years their daughters will be complaining about "slut shaming" when it all started with stuff like this. 1
MissBee Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I would be embarrassed if my daughter would have to keep my partner in line. That was my thought too. Although, I mean, what's the guy to do...I suppose he could say "Don't call me handsome..." but in reality, he might not want to seem rude or make it awkward so smiles politely and goes about his business. Thus far, it doesn't seem as though he's the one saying stuff to them so it's not really a case of the daughter keeping him in line, as he can't actually control other women calling him handsome. I don't care if women flirt with my spouse or SO. I can't control that. So it's purely my spouse's response that matters. I don't mind him smiling and being polite, so long as he of course doesn't flirt back and encourage it, which it doesn't seem like this guy did. I wouldn't want my child to feel like they needed to defend our marriage or check adults. I would want them to feel comfortable that other women will think dad is cute, but dad loves mom and will be polite but won't ever cross the line. Rather than them feeling they need to put adults in their place (I also was raised not to butt into grown folks' business or conversations so as a child I would never correct an adult in that way as I was taught it was rude.) 1
Author sandylee1 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 I would be embarrassed if my daughter would have to keep my partner in line. The man hadn't actually done anything wrong here. I imagine he didn't want to come across as rude and felt a little awkward. He wasn't flirting with any of them at all. I guess he could have tried dodging them or something. It was a particular set of women , not all. Kids do look out for their parents though. I remember once on the train a guy coming over to me , while I was with the kids (about 6 and 3 yrs old). He was trying to chatting to me up, then asked for my number and I just said no thanks. I was just being friendly and didn't think he was being otherwise especially as I had the kids with me. When we get home my eldest tells my husband that some man on the train fancied me. I wouldn't have mentioned it because it was nothing to me , then of course my H looks my way for an explanation. There I was thinking they were playing and hadn't noticed . Don't you just love em eh.
candie13 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 My sister was really overprotective, when growing up. I remember I grew up all of a sudden, turning into a young woman, from being a child. I was walking down the street and had men staring - don't you just love Eastern Europe ! I remember my sister was putting herself in front of me and telling them off, when they were trying to approach me. I still make fun of her, when I remember those episodes, she must have been 8 or 9 and was feisty as hell, hahaha! 1
Emilia Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 That kid sounds like an annoying know-it-all. Hope she grows out of it. Agree that it's a father daughter dynamic.
madjac74 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 She then told me about a group of moms in her child's school, who were smitten by the good looks of one of the dads. They would say 'Hi gorgeous' 'hello handsome ' and a couple outright flirted with him. Of course loving the attention he didn't say anything to stop it, How can you attest to how he felt about the situation especially when you are just hearing about it second hand? If I were in his situation, I would simply be flattered and not make a big deal about it and not want to make things awkward with the other parents. You guys praise the girl because she acted like a child and criticize the dad because he handled it like an adult. Since when is accepting a few compliments here and there forbidden just because you are in a relationship?!
Author sandylee1 Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 How can you attest to how he felt about the situation especially when you are just hearing about it second hand? If I were in his situation, I would simply be flattered and not make a big deal about it and not want to make things awkward with the other parents. You guys praise the girl because she acted like a child and criticize the dad because he handled it like an adult. Since when is accepting a few compliments here and there forbidden just because you are in a relationship?! I have no particular criticism of the dad at all it's the boundaries of the women I'm talking about. My friend knows the dad fairly well , as he's quite hands on and helps out on school trips as my friend does.
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 (edited) I was talking with a friend about how I find a lot of women lack appropriate boundaries were men are concerned. She then told me about a group of moms in her child's school, who were smitten by the good looks of one of the dads. They would say 'Hi gorgeous' 'hello handsome ' and a couple outright flirted with him. Of course loving the attention he didn't say anything to stop it, but his 8 year old daughter told all the women that they shouldn't be speaking to a married man like that, as it was wrong. They were pretty stunned with it, but it stopped from then onwards. One of the women actually said "little Chloe put us in our place". I thought it was so brave of her, but felt it was a terrible sign of the times that a little kid had to effectively put a stop to the poor boundaries here. If I was her mom, I'd be so proud that my little girl at that age , had the good sense to recognise this and had the courage to speak to a group of moms like this. What do you think? I'd be quite worried that an 8-year-old had already developed the capacity and comprehension to even feel she had the right to touch on the subject. Something - or someone - must have already taught her such issues and circumstances, and for her to make comment on this at such an early age prompts me to question where she garnered this perception in the first place. Eight-year-olds should have their minds on innocent, child-like and wonderful things, not on flirtation, jealousy and inappropriate behaviour. Jeesh, she sounds 30.... ETA: I used to be a mom doing the school run for my daughters, and would meet parents of both genders. Friendships were forged and harmless flirtation often occurred. The focus being on 'harmless'... Dads would comment on how pretty ladies looked in their summer frocks, women would tell guys in shorts to put those legs away, all that manly flesh! It meant nothing. And actually, it's a normal part of human/mammalian interaction... just as I suspect this was.... There's a difference between the odd occasional flirtatious comment, and overt sexual-frisson suggestiveness.... Maybe the little girl needs to learn which is which, but wait until she's old enough to make the distinction.... Edited June 15, 2015 by TaraMaiden2 1
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