eddyBelieve Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 So me and my girlfriend has been together for around 5 months now. For her this is her first real relationship. Her best-friend told me that she is immature in long term things which I can say is true. At first, we would do everything together and so on. I care about her a lot and I'm sure she does to. However she recently told me she isn't Physically Attracted to me ( more specific she doesn't feel the spark when she kisses me according to her ) but she is still emotionally attracted to me. At this point, I don't know what to do. Could this relationship still work out? How? If not, what can I do?
SunnySide0418 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Do you really want to be with someone who isn't physically attracted to you??
d0nnivain Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 It's doubtful but since your GF is admittedly immature she may be measuring her attraction based on what she "learned" from romance books & movies. She thinks that if the earth doesn't move you can't be the one. She is wrong. 3
Gaeta Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 How old are you 2? If it's her first relationship she may be having unrealistic expectations. She is expecting a spark but doesn't really know what a spark feels like and not all sparks feel the same. 1
Megas10 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Real love comes trough development. In the long term both of you will learn that looks don't matter, what matters is in your head. 1
joseb Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 She shouldn't expect the earth to move when you kiss but she needs to at least want to do it and be turned on when you does. If she is kissing you and it feels like she is kissing her brother, then it's over.
carhill Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 However she recently told me she isn't Physically Attracted to me ( more specific she doesn't feel the spark when she kisses me according to her ) but she is still emotionally attracted to me. Physical attraction, as in sexual attraction, is what delineates platonic friendships like you have with your platonic friends from romantic relationships with the gender of your preference, apparently female. If minds don't meet on this issue, then a sexual relationship satisfying to both parties generally cannot exist. One clue is your gut emotional reaction when she told you. How did you feel? Pay attention to that. It's important. At this point, I don't know what to do. Could this relationship still work out? How? If not, what can I do? As a romance, probably it won't work out. Personally, I'd date other women. You're both young and this is her first long-term dating experience. This can teach two things, one, how to break up when your needs and desires aren't being met, presuming that's the case here and, two, how to manage the fallout of breakups, including experience with a young lady trying to retrieve you with sex even though she says she doesn't find you sexually attractive. It's all good information. Think of it as five months of fun of hundreds of months of life. Plenty more life, and women, to come.
Ellejay Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 She sounded like me when I was in my sophomore year of highschool, lol. Based on my experience, I was young, immature, & I misunderstood what being loved & loving someone was. Considering that this is her first real relationship & her best friend stated that she is immature & can't really last long term, I'd say that staying with her would cause a lot of heartache. She's still finding out what she wants, & even if you were to be the nicest guy, she wouldn't know what she would want until its gone. Sounds like she put you in the friend zone & is weighing out other options by saying she doesn't feel sparks with you. (Personal experience, i was a Bit** i know ) Unless she puts in the effort that she wants this relationship as much as you do, the relationship is bound to fail. Love is a verb, & if both ends are willing to work towards the relationship together, then the relationship will flourish. Talk to her & convey to her the type of relationship you want & ask her if you guys are the same page. Look at her actions & see if she's putting in the effort to sustaining the relationship & that it's not just one sided. If it is one sided, then leave. You don't deserve anyone who doesn't reciprocate your love. Plus, you sound very young! If it doesn't work out, you have a whole life ahead of you & many people you're bound to meet. Focus on you & you might find someone along the way!
Popsicle Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 This is where you go be like too many other men and marry her even though she's not physically attracted to you.
TunaCat Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 I was in a long term relationship with someone I wasn't really physically attracted to. I figured that I wasn't attractive enough to get anyone really attractive, so I was going to settle. My now ex treated me wonderfully, so I was wiling to sacrifice being wildly attracted to my partner in favor of being with a guy who was gentle, sweet and loving. If I could go back and do it over again, I wouldn't get involved with him. I need to be physically attracted to my partner. 1
Author eddyBelieve Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 Talk to her & convey to her the type of relationship you want & ask her if you guys are the same page. Look at her actions & see if she's putting in the effort to sustaining the relationship & that it's not just one sided. Well I have been trying to talk to her lately but she just says that she isn't ready to talk yet. Instead, she insisted that she would rather have a break for now.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Well I have been trying to talk to her lately but she just says that she isn't ready to talk yet. Instead, she insisted that she would rather have a break for now. Sorry to say it, OP, but the relationship is effectively finished. Telling you she's not attracted to you anymore and then requesting a break is the kiss of death. She is already moving on. I would call it a break-up and be done with it.
Methodical Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Emotional attraction but no physical attraction = friendship. I.E. She cares about you but she is not in love with you. The only relationship that *might* work is one of a platonic nature. You can not create chemistry, it naturally exists or it doesn't. Sorry. 1
PogoStick Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Nope. It's over. Move on. I'll put it in terms you kids can understand. She likes you, but she doesn't like like you.
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Well I have been trying to talk to her lately but she just says that she isn't ready to talk yet. Instead, she insisted that she would rather have a break for now. It's over. Breaks are test drives for break ups suggested by people who aren't mature enough to cleanly end things. Sorry but just let her go. While she doesn't know what she wants she does know she doesn't want you. The sooner she's out of your life, the sooner you will meet somebody who is a better match for you which won't happen while you are pining after her.
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