EMY711 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Have you ever been in denial of liking someone or know of someone who has? I'm just curious of the reasons why and what was the outcome of the relationship. Does this happen when a person has been hurt in the past and has a hard time trusting someone? or They like the person but afraid maybe to take the next step forward so then ends up denying feelings even though their actions speak otherwise.
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 That's not denial. That's possibly fear of commitment. Denial is when the jerk is hitting you from here to kingdom-come, everyone is telling you to turn him in and ditch the loser, and you're insisting he loves you really and doesn't mean it. 1
Redhead14 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Have you ever been in denial of liking someone or know of someone who has? I'm just curious of the reasons why and what was the outcome of the relationship. Does this happen when a person has been hurt in the past and has a hard time trusting someone? or They like the person but afraid maybe to take the next step forward so then ends up denying feelings even though their actions speak otherwise. They are not typically in denial. They are emotionally unavailable. That is different. They want and need a connection but can't make it. When their actions don't match their feelings, they are operating on auto-pilot and doing what they know they need to do to get someone interested and it's mechanical. That is why to you the actions feel like they are invested in you but you realize they aren't "there". They are basically robots. Sometimes a person will be in denial and that's why some people go hot and cold. But you will know they are "there" for the most part. They do have the feelings but because of trust issues, etc. they get overwhelmed by those feelings and pull back some for short periods. If they do have strong enough feelings though,they will come back stronger. They may do this a couple of times, but each time, it's a little stronger. If they are doing this often or pull back for longer periods, it more about losing interest usually. 1
thecharade Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Yes, denial is real, but it is you that is in denial. (I did not like this message either, but it ended up to be absolutely true in the types of situations you describe.) You are in denial that he/she cannot be fixed or wooed or changed, or maybe you are in denial that he/she is not good relationship material. The real question you should be asking is, "Why am I putting so much effort into someone who is not consistently giving me what I deserve?" It is on you to protect yourself and move along, not on the other person to change. Why are you not protecting yourself from someone who clearly brings you down?
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