TaraMaiden2 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 He has shown that he wants to do it. We've been together almost two years. He had a short period of time near the end of 2013 where we got like this, he then confessed he had anger problems and didn't know what to do. We talked about it and worked through it for a little bit and then he got a grip until the past 2-3 weeks. Only after some stuff came up. I don't think he wants to be this way, I think this is how he copes but he has shown he is capable of change. If this became a lingering problem, (over a month) I'd leave but right now it hasn't been very long. If I'm honest, yes. My anxiety was. I would try to control him, I would insult him, I would become irritable from it and lash out on him. My anxiety in relationships came from being cheated on in the past, so he worked with me and helped me gain my trust in him although it wasn't his fault I was mistrusting and he did all that in the very beginning. He had also always been open with his anger problems. Isn't it amazing.... People begin threads because they have a serious problem that is affecting their relationship, which involves verbal abuse, bad language and an irrational temper, and when people respond in supportive, constructive and experienced ways, we suddenly get all the justifications, explanations, excuses and the total 180 resistance and justification, thereby negating every comment of assistance. stupidkitten, you carry on doing precisely what you're doing. It's patently obvious that whatever we are saying is not what you want to hear. So stay with him. Grin and bear it, if you want to. But please don't come back in six months, or a year, and relate more tales of how rude, ugly-mouthed, abusive and disrespectful your BF is.
Author stupidkittten Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 Until the next time. And then the time after that. And who knows, by that time you might be married and have kids, so they'll have a dad who will be subject to a whole raft of whole new stressors, so his anger incidents will increase, and.... I'm sorry. You really need to look to yourself. We don't plan on getting married or having kids actually so that's not a concern. We just both don't like the idea of marriage or kids. If this lasted over a month, I'd leave. He already knows that if I don't see improvements that's it. I don't constantly threaten to leave and then stay. It's not as simple as just leaving because once I leave that's it. I would have to get a plane ticket, move back in with my parents and I wouldn't have a job. He doesn't make enough right now to cover a ticket back after he changed and I'm not willing to throw away a 2 year relationship + the friendship we had before over the fact that he's facing some problems for about 2 weeks when he has helped me through my problems.
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